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GreaserFromNowhere 01-11-2010 03:06 AM

dating and undocumented guys
 
im wondering if any undocumented guys out there have had problems trying to date. i personally know it ain't the easiest thing. as men, we're expected to plan the date out [in terms of transportation], pick up the girl, pay for the tabs, etc. but having no car, no job, or valid ID to get into some places can complicate things A LOT.

im lucky in that i at least have an income, but back when i couldnt find a job i felt like no one would want to be with someone as broke as me. [plus it was proven to me several times]. ladies like a man with prospects right?


so any guys willing to share their stories?

juang 01-11-2010 12:53 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
You're right. it sucks not having a car, income, and on top of that, getting rejected by girls because of it. Thank God my teenage years are over.

If you, or anyone else is having trouble dating girls, I have some advice. I'm not going to lie and tell you to "just be yourself and the girl of your dreams will come on her own." Or "just hang around universities, and girl's hormones will take over." Reality check...that is not going to happen.

If you're having problems with girls, is because something in your personality is wrong. Girls don't fall in love with looks like we guys do, they fall in love with personality types. That's why you're not attracting the kind of girl you like.

You need to change. Most of the time, lack of self confidence is the problem with getting girls to like us. The problem only gets worst with our situation: no job, car, or future. But that can change if you gain that self confidence. Girls love guys who are super confident in themselves. Why do you think girls fall badly for a jerk on a motorcycle and tight jeans?

Some other times the problem is not knowing how to express that confidence with body language. To girls, body language has more significance than the words coming out of your mouth. I'm not going to go into details very much with these, but a very important key factor is being able to keep eye contact. Girls love it when you look into their eyes.

If you or anyone wants to read my stories on dating, you can do so in my blog. I don't want to hijack this thread. The link is in my signature.

loquito23 01-11-2010 04:19 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GreaserFromNowhere (Post 148593)
im wondering if any undocumented guys out there have had problems trying to date. i personally know it ain't the easiest thing. as men, we're expected to plan the date out [in terms of transportation], pick up the girl, pay for the tabs, etc. but having no car, no job, or valid ID to get into some places can complicate things A LOT.

im lucky in that i at least have an income, but back when i couldnt find a job i felt like no one would want to be with someone as broke as me. [plus it was proven to me several times]. ladies like a man with prospects right?


so any guys willing to share their stories?

Its not impossible to date US citizens girls. My cousin is engaged to this white girl who fell in love with him. He works in landscaping in the summer and in the winter he has no work. He does not drive. His fiance did not care he was illegal or that he didnt drive. if the girl falls in love with you, she wont care if you're undocumented or not. My cousin is going to Mexico next week to get visa so he can become legal. You just need to have confidence and be yourself.

Dukem88 01-11-2010 05:21 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
No car sucks.... I hear where your coming from. If I wasn't so lucky to have some great friends down in Miami I would've probably had a really hard time while I lived over there.

But now I live In NYC and I can tell you that having a car here can be more of a headache than anything else. The subway(train) will take u anywhere... so all you gotta do in NY is look good and have game. ;)

GreaserFromNowhere 01-11-2010 07:18 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
ive actually with someone right now who supports me wholeheartedly so im thankful for that. and its true, being undocumented isnt always an issue. im just recalling some bad experiences that i had when i was a teenager, that maybe don't affect other people who arent in our shoes.

GreaserFromNowhere 01-11-2010 07:24 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
i live in LA, where driving can be a necessity. by the way, if any guys out there need tips on navigating the Socal metro system [and good places to go] hit me up! ive been just about everywhere with my girl.

Dukem88 01-11-2010 08:12 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
ur a good man greaser... good man.

juang 01-12-2010 01:47 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GreaserFromNowhere (Post 148623)
i live in LA, where driving can be a necessity. by the way, if any guys out there need tips on navigating the Socal metro system [and good places to go] hit me up! ive been just about everywhere with my girl.

Aside from the Central Library and Universal Studios, where else can you go using the Metro? I used to ride it everyday when I was in college, but never really found any interesting places.

YGanan 01-12-2010 09:13 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
I've witness emotional impacts from females/males and this burden has been our prison for all these years. I hope the 'Dream Act' passes, to at least prove to oneself how great we can be without borders being carried each day. Whether dating, self transportation, career titles, ideal jobs. Just to be able to provide. We have yet known how to provide for ourselves, then again to try to provide for a life we all have the dream of, it's difficult. It's been difficult.

I know there are great man and woman out there. Educated, hard working, respectful, well outspoken individuals.

It's good to talk. I want to be able to listen and be heard; Not many of us have that in life.
Keep in mind we got eachother, we got this site. We're all dealing with this, no matter undocumented or not.

I'm present and counted for. I'm one of you.

arodriguez 01-14-2010 11:32 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
ive asked girls out on dates and have been so embarrased to have to do the double date routine because lack of car so i sort of gave up.

but now my parents really want me to get out of the house, get married etc that they are willing to lend me their car and give me money for the date as well

so let's see what happens now.

juang 01-14-2010 12:09 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by arodriguez (Post 148799)
ive asked girls out on dates and have been so embarrased to have to do the double date routine because lack of car so i sort of gave up.

but now my parents really want me to get out of the house, get married etc that they are willing to lend me their car and give me money for the date as well

so let's see what happens now.

Your parents must really want you out. Not only my mom would not let me use her car, she has made me paid rent since I was 15.

prettyjolie 01-14-2010 12:57 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by juang (Post 148802)
Your parents must really want you out. Not only my mom would not let me use her car, she has made me paid rent since I was 15.

Or maybe his parents want him to have a somewhat normal life, so they are willing to do whatever it takes to make that possible. Just because someone's parents encourage their son to get out of the house, meet people, and go on dates doesn't mean that they want him out if the house.

And guys, not all girls will dump you because you can't drive or can't have a job. If a girl really cares about you, she will see through that and accept you for who you are. Not all girls are superficial and materialistic. Don't let your immigration status keep you from living a full life.

juang 01-14-2010 01:09 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyjolie (Post 148806)
And guys, not all girls will dump you because you can't drive or can't have a job. If a girl really cares about you, she will see through that and accept you for who you are. Not all girls are superficial and materialistic. Don't let your immigration status keep you from living a full life.

But on the other hand, those girls tend to be butt ugly. And full of issues.





j/k

prettyjolie 01-14-2010 02:15 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by juang (Post 148807)
But on the other hand, those girls tend to be butt ugly. And full of issues.





j/k


Maybe the ones you've dated......

Dukem88 01-14-2010 04:33 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
^ ROFL!!! You two are too funny.

MaveriK 01-14-2010 04:40 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
5 Attachment(s)
You know, it's funny that you mention this..... because I used to think that I'd have a hard time with it... and in ways I did. I dated very rarely in High School, and when I did, I'd have my friend drive me. It worked quite well because me and him were a like.... and the girl's we dated were always best friends as well, so double dates became very common. But after high school, obviously this wasn't acceptable.

I reconnected with a good friend from high school, and we both made it very clear we didn't want to date.... and would be hard to date anyways... since she lived in houston and I lived in Killeen (3-4 hours travel). She had just come out of a relationship, and so had I. We reconnected on Myspace and eventually took things to phone, talking for hours a night. To make a long story short, we ended up dating, even with the distance... and I told her my situation before I even asked her to date. She wasn't used to it, but she agreed.

She drove down when she could, and ended up going to Midland for college (5 hours away...) but she still made the drive. In return, I'd help with gas bills and show her a good time. Her car broke down... I became an instant mechanic (And since then, the car has been supped up and moddified... all by her request.) . For summer break, we decided for her to move in to my place (Which I still live at home... unfortunatly). It worked wonders.... but at the end of the summer, I couldn't help but get a slight depression. Here was an amazing woman.... wasting her time with a man who couldn't go no where, couldn't provide for her.... couldn't do anything. So I broke up with her.

She knew my reasons, and she wasn't going to let go that easy. During the three weeks we were broke up, I did some awful stupid shit.... but she stood by me... actually... she stood by the phone since she was a few hours away. Finally, it hit me.... that girl was my world... she said when we first started dating that my "restrictions" didn't bother her. I called her one morning, crying my eyes out... i couldn't speak. I'm a strong guy... she'd never seen me cry, but it all just came crashing down. She took me back, and we're working on a year and 3 months now. She really wants me to propose, and I was hesitant at first because I didn't want anyone in her family saying that the only reason I married her was for paperwork. I wanted to make sure there was no doubt that the reasons for marriage was love. Well her family loves me and has told me "Who gives a damn what people think. Your an amazing man for her. Even with your restrictions, you work your ass off to support her. We know you are with her because you love her. She knows it.... and most importantly, you know it"

So, I'm saving up for a ring now. We move in together with a good buddy as a roommate, this june. Wish me luck on that. She's even stated that if my papers don't work, she'll even move back to Germany with me. Which is a big sigh of relief.

Anyways, pictures of the happy couple (and the tuner car):

YGanan 01-14-2010 05:15 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Congratulations. You both look happy.

Dukem88 01-14-2010 07:05 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by YGanan (Post 148826)
Congratulations. You both look happy.

Yaaa, good luck MaveriK

ps. is that a freakin Ford Taurus?

MaveriK 01-14-2010 07:17 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
lol... didn't think ford taurus's come in 2 Door versions, lol.

It's a ZX2. 2.0 DOHC Zetec Engine. Currently automatic, getting a 5 Spd Tranny swap this summer.

Currently got Intake, Exhaust, Lighter Wheels, AA Traction Tires, 21mm Sway Bar Upgrade, ES Suspension Bushings, Knock Sensor Removed. Runs 89 Octane and gets us 30 mpg, lol.

As far as looks and entertainment: Blue Underglow LED Kit that can strobe, pulse, etc.., Interior Blue neons, Complete sound system: Pioneer Head, 6.5" infinity door speakers, 6X9 Sony Back dash speakers, 1k Watt Boss Amp with bass remote, 2 12" AT Street Series Dual Voice Coil subs, blacked out tail lights, blue tint iner turn signals, and of course body kit. Not fond of the front end, it's too ricer. Changing it out, doing the body work, then taking her in for Black paint with a red cherry pearl.

angeleno 01-14-2010 07:39 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaveriK (Post 148817)
So, I'm saving up for a ring now. We move in together with a good buddy as a roommate, this june. Wish me luck on that. She's even stated that if my papers don't work, she'll even move back to Germany with me. Which is a big sigh of relief.

Anyways, pictures of the happy couple (and the tuner car):

She sounds like a keeper, and the fact that her family seems cool is a big plus.

And it's always nice to know that your significant other is willing to go to the end of the world to be with you.

Dukem88 01-14-2010 07:48 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaveriK (Post 148832)
lol... didn't think ford taurus's come in 2 Door versions, lol.

Aw man come on... I don't know nothing about cars lol.. I just saw the back and thought of a taurus. But you seem to know your stuff so I'm guessing me saying you car reminds me of a taurus is kind of like a insult lol but I didn't mean it like that.

About the front, I was just thinking that. I think the bumpers looks sweet black, if you just change the hood to red it will look hot.

Maaan... it seems like only yesterday when I was crazy about cars and wanted to learn how to build one from scratch lol(still kinda do).... but ya with this whole status thing is kinda tough. Even though I'm still vowing to get a 87 or 02 trans am and hook it all up as soon as I can drive.

MaveriK 01-14-2010 08:40 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
I'm actually a computer guy.... started building computers when i was 11. I started working on cars, when she came down one time and it broke down in our driveway and it would take 700$ to fix it.... me and a buddy and 2 beers figured it out in 12 hours and had her running for 100$.

Calling it a taurus is an insult, but I'm not worried because a lot of people don't know what a Zx2 is, because they are kind of rare. The hood was red, but we painted it black to see what black would look like on the car..... and the red was peeling very bad... so it's a quick fix.

Get into working on cars.... trust me, it will save you money.... and with our situations.... it's a good way to make some extra cash.

Thanks for everyone saying good luck. It's going to be a rocky road, but it's one we're willing to take. Thank you.

Resistant 01-14-2010 10:34 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
i havent had difficulty meeting women and going on dates because my dad bought me a car since i was 15, and now i am 20. The only thing really is explaining to the girls my situation when things really get serious. so far though, dating is great. just last night i had a date with a girl.

juang 01-15-2010 02:03 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Anyways, pictures of the happy couple (and the tuner car):
I guess it's time for me to start posting pictures of my motorcycle.

Feenmi 01-15-2010 03:22 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Resistant (Post 148840)
i havent had difficulty meeting women and going on dates because my dad bought me a car since i was 15, and now i am 20. The only thing really is explaining to the girls my situation when things really get serious. so far though, dating is great. just last night i had a date with a girl.

This.

It's not the dating part that's hard. It's the getting serious part that makes things difficult.

prettyjolie 01-15-2010 05:38 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by juang (Post 148851)
I guess it's time for me to start posting pictures of my motorcycle.


Ummm.. I don't think that time will ever come.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feenmi (Post 148858)
This.

It's not the dating part that's hard. It's the getting serious part that makes things difficult.

Excuses, excuses. :P


And congrats MaveriK. :D

CookieEater 01-15-2010 07:10 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
gahh. i hate it when threads go off on tangents but i have to... that car....jesus christ that thing is ugly. sorry. painted drums? damn. cardomain shit right there. has the transmission blown up on you yet? it will.

I'm glad everything worked out for you and you're happy though :)

Dukem88 01-15-2010 08:03 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CookieEater (Post 148863)
gahh. i hate it when threads go off on tangents but i have to... that car....jesus christ that thing is ugly. sorry. painted drums? damn. cardomain shit right there. has the transmission blown up on you yet? it will.

Heeeey! That's a ZX2, you big meanie butt!

juang 01-15-2010 11:36 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyjolie (Post 148861)
Ummm.. I don't think that time will ever come.

Of course not...do you want those pictures to get altered like the others did?

MaveriK 01-15-2010 04:01 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
We don't like the painted drums either (the calipers look sick thou) we were just trying to get the rust off. What we have planned now is to paint the drum black and make the outer lip a red, kind of like a pin stripe. Waiting on word from a buddy about if he's selling his rear rotor axel if so then it's just going to get a whole swap, and the drum will be replaced with calipers and rotors.

I know it probably looks ugly multi color, but we're taking things one step at a time, and it's not like we're rolling in money, so we do what we have cash for. Give it a year and your going to go "damn.,.... is that even the same car?" Right now it's an experiment to see what's going to look good, and what looks bad... trust me... we don't like everything on it either.... like the ugly front bumper.... looked cool in design..... not so much in action.

And the tranny is doing fine...... and for anyone who hates on this car... youtube 11 second ZX2 and watch as it destroys a GTO and an EVO. Any car can be made fast.... just depends on if you take the effort. Most people don't mod ZX2's.... that's why I'm modding it... I can't standing seeing all the honda crap.... Not one to follow mainstream.

Juang: What type of bike is it.... if it's anything like your avatar, i'd love to see it... like muscle bikes better than crotch rockets.

gzmn_ntn 01-15-2010 05:21 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dukem88 (Post 148834)
Aw man come on... I don't know nothing about cars lol.. I just saw the back and thought of a taurus. But you seem to know your stuff so I'm guessing me saying you car reminds me of a taurus is kind of like a insult lol but I didn't mean it like that.

About the front, I was just thinking that. I think the bumpers looks sweet black, if you just change the hood to red it will look hot.

Maaan... it seems like only yesterday when I was crazy about cars and wanted to learn how to build one from scratch lol(still kinda do).... but ya with this whole status thing is kinda tough. Even though I'm still vowing to get a 87 or 02 trans am and hook it all up as soon as I can drive.

Yup i always did want a 2000 Pontiac Trans Am the Ws6 package but it was way too expensive and the insurance at that age was terrible and now a days its just rare to find one of those cars... but they are truly a bad ass car. Since i have been 16 i have been driving and i have the same car as well lol its a 1997 Nissan Sentra. Its a good car although i have crashed it like 3 times lol...

juang 01-16-2010 12:02 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaveriK (Post 148884)
Juang: What type of bike is it.... if it's anything like your avatar, i'd love to see it... like muscle bikes better than crotch rockets.

in fact, the bike in my avatar is the same bike I have. The only difference is the bike in the avatar has a straight handle bar, while mine has one with "horns". I think it looks cooler like that. I love my bike too, but for security reasons I will never post a pic of it in this forum...Sorry vato.

Feenmi 01-16-2010 12:40 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by juang (Post 148917)
in fact, the bike in my avatar is the same bike I have. The only difference is the bike in the avatar has a straight handle bar, while mine has one with "horns". I think it looks cooler like that. I love my bike too, but for security reasons I will never post a pic of it in this forum...Sorry vato.

What about the make/model?

GreaserFromNowhere 01-16-2010 01:19 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by juang (Post 148659)
Aside from the Central Library and Universal Studios, where else can you go using the Metro? I used to ride it everyday when I was in college, but never really found any interesting places.

if youre on the red line, you have a lot of good places in hollywood. headline records/amoeba and pink's are some of my favorites. there are also lots of show venues. [stay away from the shitty tourist traps and hollywood blvd.]

further up in north hollywood is an interesting place called the California Institute of Abnormal Arts. the property has a psycho carnival vibe and they sometimes feature traveling freak shows a well as underground music acts.

going the opposite way you have olvera street, with the l.a. zoo a short bus ride north from there.

take the blue line south and theres downtown long beach with retro row and belmont shore nearby.

if youre willing to actually get off the trains and onto the buses like a man, theres venice beach, the santa monica promenade, and seal beach's bay theater [which regularly plays classic movies].

these are just some my favorites that i can remember right now.

GreaserFromNowhere 01-16-2010 01:21 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaveriK (Post 148817)

So, I'm saving up for a ring now. We move in together with a good buddy as a roommate, this june. Wish me luck on that. She's even stated that if my papers don't work, she'll even move back to Germany with me. Which is a big sigh of relief.

dude, she sounds like a fine woman. all the best!

juang 01-16-2010 01:36 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GreaserFromNowhere (Post 148926)
if youre on the red line, you have a lot of good places in hollywood. headline records/amoeba and pink's are some of my favorites. there are also lots of show venues. [stay away from the shitty tourist traps and hollywood blvd.]

further up in north hollywood is an interesting place called the California Institute of Abnormal Arts. the property has a psycho carnival vibe and they sometimes feature traveling freak shows a well as underground music acts.

going the opposite way you have olvera street, with the l.a. zoo a short bus ride north from there.

take the blue line south and theres downtown long beach with retro row and belmont shore nearby.

if youre willing to actually get off the trains and onto the buses like a man, theres venice beach, the santa monica promenade, and seal beach's bay theater [which regularly plays classic movies].

these are just some my favorites that i can remember right now.


I've been to some of those places. But I will never go to Pink's. what's the point to wait in line for an hour just to get a hot dog I'm going to eat in five minutes.

juang 01-16-2010 01:37 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Feenmi (Post 148922)
What about the make/model?

can't do that. It is a matter of national security.

Dukem88 01-16-2010 03:32 AM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gzmn_ntn (Post 148889)
Yup i always did want a 2000 Pontiac Trans Am the Ws6 package but it was way too expensive and the insurance at that age was terrible and now a days its just rare to find one of those cars... but they are truly a bad ass car. Since i have been 16 i have been driving and i have the same car as well lol its a 1997 Nissan Sentra. Its a good car although i have crashed it like 3 times lol...

Hell yea bro!! I was initially crazy about a 87 when I saw Dwight(from the office on nbc) driving his red 86-87 one lol... Then I started learning about cars a little bit and found out that American cars are pieces of shit unless you know how to fix em like MaveriK there probably does. And then I figured... I might as well get a newer version then if Im going American, cause a 87 muscle car isn't the brightest idea when you, dont know shit about cars, cant fix it your self and dont have enough money to get it fixed.

Either ways, its still a dream, I ain't about to gamble with driving just yet. Not enough guts or money for it.... Cause not only does that shit go 2mpg, the insurance for a trans am(considered a raceboy car)+new driver rates+the fact its parts are rare= to a $1million policy.

gunstreetgirl 01-16-2010 02:09 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
.....

juang 01-16-2010 02:22 PM

Re: dating and undocumented guys
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gunstreetgirl (Post 148947)
I'm a girl and even I avoid getting into long-term relationships because I expect guys to dump me because I can't drive, currently don't have a job, don't have the ID to get into clubs and buy drinks, and all that crap. This stuff was excusable when I was a student, but now that I'm in in my mid- twenties, I've started worrying more and more about potential boyfriends thinking I'm a loser. Obviously, I can't tell anyone I'm illegal.

I know I'm being irrational. I do agree that you shouldn't let your immigration status keep you from having a life. So I'm resolving to stop focusing on what I can't do and just freaking stop being afraid of dating.

I'm sorry to hear that. How about if we get together for a cup of tea and talk about this? Don't worry, you won't have to drive, I'll pick you up. Just make sure to put on jeans or else you may burn yourself with the exhaust pipe.


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