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dating and undocumented guys
im wondering if any undocumented guys out there have had problems trying to date. i personally know it ain't the easiest thing. as men, we're expected to plan the date out [in terms of transportation], pick up the girl, pay for the tabs, etc. but having no car, no job, or valid ID to get into some places can complicate things A LOT.
im lucky in that i at least have an income, but back when i couldnt find a job i felt like no one would want to be with someone as broke as me. [plus it was proven to me several times]. ladies like a man with prospects right? so any guys willing to share their stories? |
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You're right. it sucks not having a car, income, and on top of that, getting rejected by girls because of it. Thank God my teenage years are over.
If you, or anyone else is having trouble dating girls, I have some advice. I'm not going to lie and tell you to "just be yourself and the girl of your dreams will come on her own." Or "just hang around universities, and girl's hormones will take over." Reality check...that is not going to happen. If you're having problems with girls, is because something in your personality is wrong. Girls don't fall in love with looks like we guys do, they fall in love with personality types. That's why you're not attracting the kind of girl you like. You need to change. Most of the time, lack of self confidence is the problem with getting girls to like us. The problem only gets worst with our situation: no job, car, or future. But that can change if you gain that self confidence. Girls love guys who are super confident in themselves. Why do you think girls fall badly for a jerk on a motorcycle and tight jeans? Some other times the problem is not knowing how to express that confidence with body language. To girls, body language has more significance than the words coming out of your mouth. I'm not going to go into details very much with these, but a very important key factor is being able to keep eye contact. Girls love it when you look into their eyes. If you or anyone wants to read my stories on dating, you can do so in my blog. I don't want to hijack this thread. The link is in my signature. |
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No car sucks.... I hear where your coming from. If I wasn't so lucky to have some great friends down in Miami I would've probably had a really hard time while I lived over there.
But now I live In NYC and I can tell you that having a car here can be more of a headache than anything else. The subway(train) will take u anywhere... so all you gotta do in NY is look good and have game. ;) |
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ive actually with someone right now who supports me wholeheartedly so im thankful for that. and its true, being undocumented isnt always an issue. im just recalling some bad experiences that i had when i was a teenager, that maybe don't affect other people who arent in our shoes.
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i live in LA, where driving can be a necessity. by the way, if any guys out there need tips on navigating the Socal metro system [and good places to go] hit me up! ive been just about everywhere with my girl.
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ur a good man greaser... good man.
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I've witness emotional impacts from females/males and this burden has been our prison for all these years. I hope the 'Dream Act' passes, to at least prove to oneself how great we can be without borders being carried each day. Whether dating, self transportation, career titles, ideal jobs. Just to be able to provide. We have yet known how to provide for ourselves, then again to try to provide for a life we all have the dream of, it's difficult. It's been difficult.
I know there are great man and woman out there. Educated, hard working, respectful, well outspoken individuals. It's good to talk. I want to be able to listen and be heard; Not many of us have that in life. Keep in mind we got eachother, we got this site. We're all dealing with this, no matter undocumented or not. I'm present and counted for. I'm one of you. |
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ive asked girls out on dates and have been so embarrased to have to do the double date routine because lack of car so i sort of gave up.
but now my parents really want me to get out of the house, get married etc that they are willing to lend me their car and give me money for the date as well so let's see what happens now. |
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And guys, not all girls will dump you because you can't drive or can't have a job. If a girl really cares about you, she will see through that and accept you for who you are. Not all girls are superficial and materialistic. Don't let your immigration status keep you from living a full life. |
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j/k |
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Maybe the ones you've dated...... |
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^ ROFL!!! You two are too funny.
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You know, it's funny that you mention this..... because I used to think that I'd have a hard time with it... and in ways I did. I dated very rarely in High School, and when I did, I'd have my friend drive me. It worked quite well because me and him were a like.... and the girl's we dated were always best friends as well, so double dates became very common. But after high school, obviously this wasn't acceptable.
I reconnected with a good friend from high school, and we both made it very clear we didn't want to date.... and would be hard to date anyways... since she lived in houston and I lived in Killeen (3-4 hours travel). She had just come out of a relationship, and so had I. We reconnected on Myspace and eventually took things to phone, talking for hours a night. To make a long story short, we ended up dating, even with the distance... and I told her my situation before I even asked her to date. She wasn't used to it, but she agreed. She drove down when she could, and ended up going to Midland for college (5 hours away...) but she still made the drive. In return, I'd help with gas bills and show her a good time. Her car broke down... I became an instant mechanic (And since then, the car has been supped up and moddified... all by her request.) . For summer break, we decided for her to move in to my place (Which I still live at home... unfortunatly). It worked wonders.... but at the end of the summer, I couldn't help but get a slight depression. Here was an amazing woman.... wasting her time with a man who couldn't go no where, couldn't provide for her.... couldn't do anything. So I broke up with her. She knew my reasons, and she wasn't going to let go that easy. During the three weeks we were broke up, I did some awful stupid shit.... but she stood by me... actually... she stood by the phone since she was a few hours away. Finally, it hit me.... that girl was my world... she said when we first started dating that my "restrictions" didn't bother her. I called her one morning, crying my eyes out... i couldn't speak. I'm a strong guy... she'd never seen me cry, but it all just came crashing down. She took me back, and we're working on a year and 3 months now. She really wants me to propose, and I was hesitant at first because I didn't want anyone in her family saying that the only reason I married her was for paperwork. I wanted to make sure there was no doubt that the reasons for marriage was love. Well her family loves me and has told me "Who gives a damn what people think. Your an amazing man for her. Even with your restrictions, you work your ass off to support her. We know you are with her because you love her. She knows it.... and most importantly, you know it" So, I'm saving up for a ring now. We move in together with a good buddy as a roommate, this june. Wish me luck on that. She's even stated that if my papers don't work, she'll even move back to Germany with me. Which is a big sigh of relief. Anyways, pictures of the happy couple (and the tuner car): |
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Congratulations. You both look happy.
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ps. is that a freakin Ford Taurus? |
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lol... didn't think ford taurus's come in 2 Door versions, lol.
It's a ZX2. 2.0 DOHC Zetec Engine. Currently automatic, getting a 5 Spd Tranny swap this summer. Currently got Intake, Exhaust, Lighter Wheels, AA Traction Tires, 21mm Sway Bar Upgrade, ES Suspension Bushings, Knock Sensor Removed. Runs 89 Octane and gets us 30 mpg, lol. As far as looks and entertainment: Blue Underglow LED Kit that can strobe, pulse, etc.., Interior Blue neons, Complete sound system: Pioneer Head, 6.5" infinity door speakers, 6X9 Sony Back dash speakers, 1k Watt Boss Amp with bass remote, 2 12" AT Street Series Dual Voice Coil subs, blacked out tail lights, blue tint iner turn signals, and of course body kit. Not fond of the front end, it's too ricer. Changing it out, doing the body work, then taking her in for Black paint with a red cherry pearl. |
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And it's always nice to know that your significant other is willing to go to the end of the world to be with you. |
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About the front, I was just thinking that. I think the bumpers looks sweet black, if you just change the hood to red it will look hot. Maaan... it seems like only yesterday when I was crazy about cars and wanted to learn how to build one from scratch lol(still kinda do).... but ya with this whole status thing is kinda tough. Even though I'm still vowing to get a 87 or 02 trans am and hook it all up as soon as I can drive. |
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I'm actually a computer guy.... started building computers when i was 11. I started working on cars, when she came down one time and it broke down in our driveway and it would take 700$ to fix it.... me and a buddy and 2 beers figured it out in 12 hours and had her running for 100$.
Calling it a taurus is an insult, but I'm not worried because a lot of people don't know what a Zx2 is, because they are kind of rare. The hood was red, but we painted it black to see what black would look like on the car..... and the red was peeling very bad... so it's a quick fix. Get into working on cars.... trust me, it will save you money.... and with our situations.... it's a good way to make some extra cash. Thanks for everyone saying good luck. It's going to be a rocky road, but it's one we're willing to take. Thank you. |
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i havent had difficulty meeting women and going on dates because my dad bought me a car since i was 15, and now i am 20. The only thing really is explaining to the girls my situation when things really get serious. so far though, dating is great. just last night i had a date with a girl.
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It's not the dating part that's hard. It's the getting serious part that makes things difficult. |
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Ummm.. I don't think that time will ever come. Quote:
And congrats MaveriK. :D |
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gahh. i hate it when threads go off on tangents but i have to... that car....jesus christ that thing is ugly. sorry. painted drums? damn. cardomain shit right there. has the transmission blown up on you yet? it will.
I'm glad everything worked out for you and you're happy though :) |
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We don't like the painted drums either (the calipers look sick thou) we were just trying to get the rust off. What we have planned now is to paint the drum black and make the outer lip a red, kind of like a pin stripe. Waiting on word from a buddy about if he's selling his rear rotor axel if so then it's just going to get a whole swap, and the drum will be replaced with calipers and rotors.
I know it probably looks ugly multi color, but we're taking things one step at a time, and it's not like we're rolling in money, so we do what we have cash for. Give it a year and your going to go "damn.,.... is that even the same car?" Right now it's an experiment to see what's going to look good, and what looks bad... trust me... we don't like everything on it either.... like the ugly front bumper.... looked cool in design..... not so much in action. And the tranny is doing fine...... and for anyone who hates on this car... youtube 11 second ZX2 and watch as it destroys a GTO and an EVO. Any car can be made fast.... just depends on if you take the effort. Most people don't mod ZX2's.... that's why I'm modding it... I can't standing seeing all the honda crap.... Not one to follow mainstream. Juang: What type of bike is it.... if it's anything like your avatar, i'd love to see it... like muscle bikes better than crotch rockets. |
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further up in north hollywood is an interesting place called the California Institute of Abnormal Arts. the property has a psycho carnival vibe and they sometimes feature traveling freak shows a well as underground music acts. going the opposite way you have olvera street, with the l.a. zoo a short bus ride north from there. take the blue line south and theres downtown long beach with retro row and belmont shore nearby. if youre willing to actually get off the trains and onto the buses like a man, theres venice beach, the santa monica promenade, and seal beach's bay theater [which regularly plays classic movies]. these are just some my favorites that i can remember right now. |
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I've been to some of those places. But I will never go to Pink's. what's the point to wait in line for an hour just to get a hot dog I'm going to eat in five minutes. |
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Either ways, its still a dream, I ain't about to gamble with driving just yet. Not enough guts or money for it.... Cause not only does that shit go 2mpg, the insurance for a trans am(considered a raceboy car)+new driver rates+the fact its parts are rare= to a $1million policy. |
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