Relationship Advice
 

I need advise or opinions about my current relationship. I met my current boyfriend back in 2009. We didn't become official until 2011, now we live together. We've been talking about marriage and getting my stuff fixed. Now that I think about it more, I want to get married but I'm having second thoughts about whether I want to be with him or not.

Here's the situation, there are times when we do argue and we don't get along. Sometimes we work things out and I just go with the flow, just because it's easier that way. I really don't like his mother. She's really pretentious in public and just super annoying. Also, I'm not used to his upbringing. For example, him and his family don't really have manners. I mean the type that you would be embarrassed to bring your family over on family functions or special occasions in a formal restaurant. There are conversation topics my family or circle of friends would never talk about because we could care less-- it's something they excessively talk about to the point that it gets uncomfortable.

If I'm going to be committed to someone, I'm committing to his family, which include his mother. Aside from everything else, I do love him but do I love him enough to commit to this level? I'm really torn apart. Should I break the relationship off and try to move on or should I work things out and don't let things get to me?

What would you do?

Re: Relationship Advice
 

Thanks for sharing your current dilemma. You are right to point out to what extent are you willing to commit. You have to ask yourself, what does it mean to love someone else, unconditionally? Although I am an atheist, I believe that true love entails the following (from the book of Corinthians):

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If I were to be in another relationship again (I just came out of a 6.5 year relationship with someone), I would hope my partner and I would commit to a loving relationship based on what love means to us. And not just love for ourselves, but love in general. I feel my family and I commit to loving one another respectfully and have been for each other despite our faults and differences. I would hope my future partner, if any, would believe similar ideals so we can live in peace and harmony with one another.

How do you see true love? What does it mean to you or him? I think you should ponder these questions. Best of luck!

Re: Relationship Advice
 

Only you can decide whether you need to end it or not, but you should not let your immigration status be the reason, even partial reason to marry someone - well at least that's why I'm in my situation :) \

In my experience though, your gut feeling is always right. There have been several times when I've met someone and thought "they seem nice, but this one thing here could really be an issue" and each time that was the issue that ended the relationship.

As far as family goes, one of my siblings married into one of those hostile families and they made life hell.

Re: Relationship Advice
 

I always appreciate your input. I definitely have a lot to ponder about. In a perfect world, I see true love as never arguing or having differences, everything going the right way. Like how they depict "happily ever after" Disney fairy tales, but yet again we're not in a perfect world.

See that right there is what I'm worried about! It's a tough decision, my immigration stuff was never a main factor for being in the relationship. It's a nice bonus, but I rather be in the same position and be happy, than marry the wrong person to have my status fixed and be miserable for as long as I can stand the marriage. And honestly, life is too short to be miserable! Thanks for your input!

Re: Relationship Advice
 

I just go with the flow, just because it's easier that way

so if he starts beating you, youll jusr go with the flow because its easier that way?

Re: Relationship Advice
 

LOL! You seriously have some issues. Having disagreements and domestic violence are TWO different things. You need to get some help if you think they are....

Re: Relationship Advice
 

that what all victims say

"he beats me because be loves me! nothing wrong with that"

Re: Relationship Advice
 

Domestic violence is a serious matter. I don't think it's something to make a mockery of, ESPECIALLY since there's people who are genuinely experiencing this today or have experienced it. Show some respect! This shows the level of your character.

I'm getting sick and tired of your posts! You basically troll and don't give serious replies. At this point, you're on my ignore list until you get banned!

Re: Relationship Advice
 

oh good, at least this user didnt send me a PM to talk about their feelings