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-   -   How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!! (http://dreamact.info/forum/showthread.php?t=83663)

deetx 06-18-2019 11:34 PM

How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
Lately I’ve had the worst anxiety.I lost my dad 3 months ago and couldn’t leave the country to attend the funeral because of my paperwork situation.
I was in a relationship with someone that I truly loved and he talked about us getting married, I found out that he was lying and cheating so I walked away and never looked back.

My brother who came to the U.S together with me, just got his citizenship. Two of my childhood friends who came to the US a year before I did Both just got their Green Card.

Now my entire family is planning a trip to Thailand next year and I’m the only one that can’t go.
I feel so depressed and it’s hard to see that everyone around me is moving up and I’m stuck renewing my EAD every year and even worse that trump is always threatening to deport us all. I just don’t know what how else to do. It’s such a shitty feeling.

BestBefore1984 06-19-2019 01:07 AM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
My dear. Stories like yours are what sicken me the most about our situation. We are denied a fundamentally basic human right to mourn properly. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you find a proper way to celebrate your fathers life.

As for the relationship. Yeah, it sucks and its going to take time for you to feel better about it. You just have to let time do its thing. And speaking of time, you finding out now before making any commitments with him has saved you a lot of time. If he was doing this now, you'd bet he'd still be fucking around if you two were married. In this situation, you would inevitably found out but perhaps much later and where other more complicated factors could be in play.

The travel thing. Sure going to Thailand would be awesome. Let me ask ya something because I don't think you're much of a traveler. I could be wrong. Have you been to Hawaii? Alaska? Puerto Rico? If you have not visited any of these, you're missing out on an opportunity to get a 'foreign' feel, whilst being in the USA. Trust me, I and many dreamers here, have been to those places and it's an experience that you are not likely to find exactly anywhere else in the US.

It's going to suck before it gets better, but you will be ok. Good luck.

DACA-IR-DA 06-20-2019 02:26 AM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
At least you have DACA. Lot of Dreamers were aged out like myself. You are blessed.

juvi 06-20-2019 09:29 AM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
I'm sorry for your loss, it's gotta be devastating to not even be able to say goodbye to a loved one.

As far as coping, as cliché as it sounds time heals all wounds. Meanwhile, focus and invest in yourself. Get a new hobby, pick up a new skill, go to school (unsure how old), meet new people, join a club, volunteer, and travel nationally. As mentioned above, there are handful of places you can travel to in our situation and still get that foreign feel. I've been to PR and I loved it.

When you're feeling down and depressed, remember Dory from Finding Nemo and just keep going, just keep going, just keep going...

You got this!

dreampro17 06-20-2019 12:25 PM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
Hey there is never the perfect things to say to someone to ease the pain of such a loss. I hope it comforts you to know that we do care and are here, even if we are virtual. It's sad and we are sorry. You have made a huge sacrifice for good reasons. I don't think your dad would want you to give it all up, he would want you to continue to stay strong and see this to the end.
There will be a time when you can go on many vacations wherever you want to. For now, as "bestbefore1984" said, there is a lot of beautiful places within the US that you and your family can go visit. Funny, a lot of folks living here, go international, without exploring the wealth of beauty and iconic places right here.
Sometimes, as hard as it is, you must put things into perspective. Think of what you CAN do as opposed to what you CAN't do. There are many people without DACA, there are people who are citizens who are homeless, people who are handicapped, and the list can go on....
Focus on positives and knock the negative thoughts away. You will get to where you want to be in time. You cannot control or change the things you have no control over. However, you have control over YOU. Become a better version of you by throwing negative thoughts away, improve your self either by enrolling in classes, reading, staying fit. Help others, who feel this way.
Good luck!!

beingoflight 06-20-2019 10:37 PM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
Things could of been worse, at least you can be here and your family is doing good.

Lived my entire life until i was 15 under domestic violence from my father's part which had him deported. I got a bit of PTSD from a traumatic event, right after i fell in love with an exchange student and we just couldn't be together, she attempted suicide several times because of this when she left and couldnt come back and i couldnt go because of DACA, she survived and cut her off completely to stop the pain, right now i work for the best hotel from a really well known company and im at war with the entire management team because my knowledge surpasses them in all aspects and they envy me a lot since my relationship with the owner of the hotel is really good.

I fell in love with a chick that happens to have epilepsy at work too, we loved each other a lot and had huge plans but since that war is going out at work she got tired of the gossiping and left consequently i had to let her go since the relationship couldn't work because of distance.

There is quite a bit that im not mentioning, losing DACA would be pulling my last straw pretty much, lets just wait and see what happens next year.

Money has no value for me anymore i just focus on learning more about my profession to distract myself and be better at work.

Demise 06-20-2019 11:28 PM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
Just a fuckton of anger.

dreampro17 06-21-2019 08:29 AM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by beingoflight (Post 737852)
Things could of been worse, at least you can be here and your family is doing good.

Lived my entire life until i was 15 under domestic violence from my father's part which had him deported. I got a bit of PTSD from a traumatic event, right after i fell in love with an exchange student and we just couldn't be together, she attempted suicide several times because of this when she left and couldnt come back and i couldnt go because of DACA, she survived and cut her off completely to stop the pain, right now i work for the best hotel from a really well known company and im at war with the entire management team because my knowledge surpasses them in all aspects and they envy me a lot since my relationship with the owner of the hotel is really good.

I fell in love with a chick that happens to have epilepsy at work too, we loved each other a lot and had huge plans but since that war is going out at work she got tired of the gossiping and left consequently i had to let her go since the relationship couldn't work because of distance.

There is quite a bit that im not mentioning, losing DACA would be pulling my last straw pretty much, lets just wait and see what happens next year.

Money has no value for me anymore i just focus on learning more about my profession to distract myself and be better at work.

Kudos to you for being strong and composed!! It's a blessing. There is light at the end of tunnel.. Keep putting your best foot forward, and continue to be your best. Try to make light of the little issues at work. Smile with them. Good luck!

BrokeAssDreamer 06-25-2019 06:44 AM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
These are the kind of posts that should be posted on this forum and not the daily nonsense we see everyday on here. Really enjoyed reading these posts, my respects to all of ya'll . We are ALL struggling in one way or another but these struggles is what made us who we are today...

Loso882908 06-25-2019 02:01 PM

Re: How do y’all stay strong when everything around feels so discouraging!!!
 
You guys are more than welcomed to come to Puerto Rico, I could should you guys around. PR feels like you are in a different country and it has some amazing beaches. I too have been through very similar situations so I can relate 100%. Being sad and depressed is a choice not an obligation .


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