Do you lead a "double life"?
 

How many of you feel like you're leading a double life? Like people don't really know who you REALLY are? I do and it can get so tiring. I know a lot about my friends but they don't really know who I am, and lying has become second nature, just so I don't have to reveal my status. I'm super paranoid and I don't want to give anyone a weapon they can use against me or my family. It's lonely and it doesn't feel healthy, but I can't imagine living any other way. I don't have ANY friends who are in our situation :(

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

I understand what you mean by 'weapon' my dad thinks that all the time. He always says I shouldn't tell people about my situation because they could use it against us. But, honestly if you get to know people and you trust them, REALLY trust them, I would maybe think about telling them, only because sometimes it's nice having that heavy burden lifted and they know and they can stick up for you. I know when I told some of my friends and my other friends bugged me about why I don't have a license, the ones that knew made an effort to divert the subject cause they know how it effects me.

But, I get how you feel like you live a double life. Pretending to be someone you're not. It's hard. I think the hardest part is putting on that face like everything's peachy but some days it sucks and you still put on that face cause you know if people ask what's wrong and you try to explain they won't get it.

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

I was in your situation years ago. Back in high school, none of my friends knew about my status. Whenever I was asked why I didn't have my license or a job, I just shrugged or said I was lazy. It wasn't until about 4 years later that I trusted them enough with the truth. The first few times of telling my story were hard, but it got easier. Now that they know, I have their support and it's a load of my mind. They're used to picking me up and dropping me off and me busting out my passport at the bar.

I'm not telling you that you should tell everyone about your status, as it is not my place to endanger you or your family. If you, however, feel in your gut that you can trust even just one of your friends with your secret, life gets a little bit easier.

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

As far as the poll question goes, about 15 of my friends and my girlfriend know about my situation.

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

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Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

It's pretty much the same with me. I haven't told anyone and I think it's simply because I don't trust anyone enough to do it. I'd spend too much time worrying that they were trying to figure out how to use it against me (I have trust issues...I know lol).

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

People believe blindly that I was born here. I've been doing this for so long, it doesn't even bother me anymore. Only recently have I cared about it but its mainly due to my girlfriend.

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

I feel you. I've told most of my CLOSE friends...and some can relate..but the ones that can't sympathize with me..It gets easier when you can open up and get it off your chest..I was watching a you tube video that was taped a few months back, CNN was interviewing the director of "Papers" and a teenager who had been ordered deportation..and the Journalist lady covering the story mentioned how "Depression" was the wide spread emotion among almost every undocumented teens. I get depressed also..I try to keep busy with things like work, school (not at the moment), friends, and finding a plan B if things don't work out here..I used to feel like IF only I had been born here my problems would be solved..


Reality is, if we were all documented there would be some other kind of struggle we'd be having to face..And while this may seem like the only thing holding us back from being "Happy" there are US citizens living with some kind of mental disorder who will also never be completely "happy" so pretty much its your perspective on life...A wise person once told me, "If you don't like something change it."...You may not adjust your status ever..but you can look for routes to take in order to achieve success...Never settle for less than your best.

Re: Do you lead a "double life"?
 

Ummm....yeah I would struggle to get the money together to go see my girlfriend. I'll take that "struggle" over potentially being apprehended and herded back to Mexico. We CAN be happy in this "state". Nobody here can feel safe driving. You can achieve success. When they close one door on us...I for one find another and break it down. They dont want us at their dining room table..but they have me breaking bread and drinking their wine with them. Never give up. Find solutions. Find light in a room full of darkness.