LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

And you lot felt bad about your EWI's. Try this for a double hurdle.

So, yes, thread title. -.-

Share your experiences living in the US as a LGBT Dreamer.

Do you feel life in the US has been harder than for hetero Dreamers?

How did you feel about perhaps being secretive about your status and your orientation?

Or have been you open about both to friends, and family?

And this, ladies and gentleman, is why you can't go around aimlessly advising people to "just marry already" for their "greem card".

What about 31+? Yes, they too.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

Well, it is a lot harder being gay and undocumented. You aren't just hiding one aspect of yourself, but two. It's twice the discomfort in society. It's twice the feeling of being a second class citizen. You have these people who hate you because you are gay, and then you have them hate you because you are undocumented. It's difficult enough to come to terms with being different, but to have it being complicated by other aspects outside of your control can lead to a very deep depression.

I've always felt a lot more comfortable coming to terms with my sexual orientation than my undocumented status. I've never lied to myself, I'm gay, and that's just who I am. I am not going to make any qualms about it either. It's still difficult for me though because eventually I will just have to bust that closet door full open and I'm worried what my family's reaction will be. My father and brother are such chauvinistic males who hold on to these really strong traditional views. And, my nieces and nephews, who I've grown to love so much, are beginning to get these homophobic view points at school. I squirm whenever I hear "gay" being used in such a negative light. It'll break my heart if they reject me, but that's life. I need to harden myself from all these judgmental people in the world, even if it's my own family. I need to follow my heart, and be true to myself against the world. I know I will have my mom on my side though. She has shown me what unconditional love is, and that is enough for me to keep going even in my worst moments.

I've never been open with anyone about my undocumented status. My family told me early on to keep it a secret, so that it won't be used against me. I got a sense of embarrassment about it. It didn't really affect me until I got into college. I saw the limits of my potential. It became depressing, and eventually I just shut down. I wouldn't leave my room. It's always been where I felt safest. But, I also saw everything I wanted flash by. I never expected to spend my early adulthood in depression. I would get angry at myself for not being able to claim what I wanted. Yet, I couldn't tell people, because there is a chance they could use it against me. I've had friends who abandon me in my worst of times. I could not risk it. I feel better about my opportunities with DACA, but I'm still embarrassed to admit that I'm undocumented.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

Same here, I've been more open with my orientation rather than my immigration status. Sometimes i feel as if my immigration status is a bigger target for people to try to put me down. I'm open about my orientation but not my status. Personally, I don't care what people think I just hate stupid comments or people feeling superior... I live in Los Angeles, people are more accepting in certain areas, and truth be told a lot of people are coming out now, for some reason.... O.o

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

Well living as a gay girl on top of being immigrant has definitely had its toll on me. It is very *very* hard what we have to go through as yes, we are judged and stereotyped in possibly the biggest two ways that we live our lives. I work in a very conservative area (Orange County) and the amount of people quietly telling me things about "them" is just heartbreaking. No one at my job knows I am gay, or immigrant and it is a very troubling thing. I have had people tell me that they know immigrants are all kidnappers and AZ did a good thing with their awful law. I have had other people make gay jokes in front of me or go "eww" at gay couples that may be there. I had a lady once tell me that she may have druggies, sexual predators and crazies in her family but at least god didn't punish her family with "any of those gays". I am out to all my friends about my sexuality, I am out to my best friends about my legal status. But at the end of the day it sucks. It sucks because I will always be an outsider, always. I cannot remember a day where I was not hiding either thing one way or another. I hate that.

My mom says DACA is for now until I find someone to marry then I can get my green card. Right, if she only knew. I feel like being gay and immigrant you have to work a million times harder to get ahead. I have this feeling of pulling and wanting to be let free, and yet I have all these ropes holding me back and preventing me from that complete freedom and honesty I so crave. I am very lucky to have such wonderful friends whom at my lowest points have helped me through it. Yes I have thought about suicide, because of both things.

I do feel that being an immigrant has a bigger toll on me. How awful it is to work hours on homework, go to school with no sleep and pass that test, midterm or final with 100%. Then change and go to work, to take orders from some racist/homophobe people, make their food and clean bathrooms. It's such a degrading feeling because we know intellectually we are above them and to work below them for something that is out of our hands is freaking devastating.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

OMGGGGG I am in the same boat. I feel oppressed from both sides. I can't go after my dreams of being successful because of the status barrier and I can't even go out on dates or be in relationship because I am in closet. Its so frustrating. My parents are pressuring me to get married and I think I am going to so I can atleast get rid of one problem..which is to gain status. I am the oldest out of 6 kids, so there is a huge pressure on my shoulder and coming out would make my parents look bad in the community so I won't be doing that. UGHHHHH.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

I hope you will be honest with the person you marry. I can't stand closeted men or women who lie to their spouses about who they are and then go playing about with other people. It's not fair to the other person; to try to manipulate them emotionally to gain lawful status and seem "normal." Appearances can be faked, but how you feel inside cannot. In my opinion, it's better to make a plan to be free than be caged in for the pleasure of others. It gets tiring to play someone else all the time.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

Well, it isn't always easy being both undocumented and gay. You're constantly fighting for both rights. If DOMA gets repealed, many couples can adjust status through their partner. I wouldn't recommend lying either. It will only put an emotional toll on you. It's also kind of mean. But yea. I come from an Islamic house hold and it is def really difficult to hide in your own home. And yet you're also hiding outside because you're not only undocumented, you're also gay. You have to constantly come out twice each time. As soon as one person is ok with your status. You have to now Come out about your other status. Lol it's just not fun for many people.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

I know what you mean!! I have been fighting with my parents about marriage for 2 years now. They wont listen. No one in my household is legal so they are putting so much pressure on me to be their savior. I am the only one that is graduated and I am 24 so they think I need to get settled and marry and support financially and get them their greencard. Top of that coming out is not so easy in a conservative household. Only if they knew what they are asking me, I just can't do. Sigh.

I think my mom knows bc I get scared every time she mentions marriage, so I think she knows. But at same time she is not willing to accept it and thinks nothing of it. She still ask me to marry. WTF!

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

LMFAO!!! I know what you mean. I even had a gay friend who asked me to marry him so I can get green card, but since gay marriage is not approved on federal level, I can't take that step. I am muslim as well. My dad is so into religion, so he will never accept my orientation. ARGGG. Its so damn frustrating.

Re: LGBT Dreamer Community: Who are you?
 

I tried to marry a lesbian. but her mom caught her. Not a happy story. ahhahahha. but we are best friends now and I love to her death. lol