When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

I obviously never bring up my daca status to a girl i’m dating until maybe the 1 month mark. Anyone here ever told a girl/guy your status on a 1st or 2nd date?

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

With my ex, I brought it up 3 months in the relationship and she broke up with me for that specific reason. A year later I met a new person, who is now my wife, and I brought it up in the 3rd or 4th date.

My suggestion is, bring it up as soon as you believe it will lead to something.

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

was your ex a conservative or just anti-immigrant in general?

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

No, i dont think so... I think she just thought it was something she didn't want to deal with. For instance, she wanted to do a lot of traveling abroad, and I can't.

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

The first day I met her. We’re now married.

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

I brought my status up to my boyfriend 6 months into our relationship, when I was stressing about something that I can’t even remember now pertaining to immigration. We had jumped into our relationship, so I hadn’t been as open with a lot of major details first and wanted to know more about his character and values and beliefs before telling him something so big. He was also a republican with mildly conservative views. Not only did he take it like a champ, in the time since then (this was back in April/may of 2020), he’s gone out of his way to learn and listen about immigration and the struggles that come with it, as well as in my parents cases. He’s a southern white, so he’s had a lot of learning to do but fast forward to 2022 and he’s non stop talking about wanting to “hurry up and get me out of this mess” while still keeping the engagement a surprise ;) I think when you know it’s right, it’s a good time to let them know.

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

I pump and dump, so never

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

Ditto

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

Re: When do you usually bring up DACA status to a girl/guy you’re seeing?
 

I actually have.

When you're in your early or mid-20's, people tend to cut you some slack if you aren't established and have a career, house, etc. if you're still in school. Back then, I would not share my status with anybody except my lawyer or the guy I worked for because I was worried that friendships wouldn't last and I didn't want anybody to have ammo to destroy my life. Back in High School, this asshole white kid figured out my situation once (though I admitted nothing) and so since then I was a lot more careful about even giving clues.

I eventually told my girlfriend whose parents were from the same country I'm from a month or so into us dating and gave her the option of walking away if she wanted to. Her reaction was "what does that mean?" She had to go ask her friends who were all like "Oh he wants to marry you for a greencard"...alas we stayed together for 2 years until my late 20's and then I was single again.

In my late 20's early 30's, the dating scene was wild. Every girl I would meet was starting out their career and wanted to settle down and have kids, etc. and they'd look down on me and think something was very wrong with me by the 2nd or 3rd date. I'd also meet a lot of fuckups but the thing about fuck-ups in their 20's is that they also like fuck-ups and compared to them, I actually had my shit together, but I digress.

So in my mid-30's my paths crossed with someone I had met before while she was engaged and now she was single and we had a mutual friend, her family was also from my homeland and I knew she was a great person and she was just a beautiful person with a bright future in the medical field. I pretty much knew that if we went out on a date and the topic of "so what do you do for a living" came up, I'd have zero chance. I also knew that she wouldn't be the type of person who would turn me in or something so I rolled the dice.

On our first date, a 2 hour drive for me (she was doing a fellowship in some shithole), we put our cards on the table. I told her about my situation and I explained to her that I had a choice of either coming across as a complete fuckup in his mid-30's or I could tell her the truth and in her case I chose the truth. She put her cards on the table that after her engagement was broken up that she didn't want to waste time and wanted to get married and have a family soon...by soon she meant months and she couldn't wait for me to get my stuff straight...by the time we would date and get married or whatever it would at least take a year or so before I got my papers and then another year or two to get a career going, and so that was her way of telling me I wasn't worthy.

I didn't get the girl, though there were some really funny stories that happened in the coming months that I wish I could share when we were still struggling with our realities and later I went to her wedding which was super weird but to this day I am still friends with her and I don't regret telling her the truth. I took my best shot and lost and that's fair.

I've also told a few other girls on first dates- namely those that I found out didn't have their own papers so neither of us would waste each other's time.