friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

hi everyone, i've been on this site for about a year now but with a different username (forgot the password so i made this one). this might be last minute, but anyway, my best friend is having a party tonight for her 20th birthday. first, she wants to go to a hookah bar (18+ obviously) and that is where my problem comes in. i am 19 (20 in less than a month) years old but i don't have any kind of ID. my friend does not know that i'm illegal but she does know that i have immigration issues. in order to skip the hookah part of the party, i told her that i need to babysit until 7ish so i wouldnt be able to go to the hookah bar with everybody. she responded with "we'll wait for you!" and i told her i wouldnt want her to wait for me and i'd just see her after, but now i don't know how to get out of it. i told her i'd go to her party like 2 weeks ago so i'd feel like she'd be upset if i didnt go to her party at all. i just don't know what else i can say to get out of it. i'm really upset right now because i don't want to divulge my "secret" so last minute and now i'm feeling really horrible about myself. i guess i need some advice on what to tell her or at least any words of wisdom. please, it would help me a lot, i just cried for a good half an hour because i got anxious (anxiety disorder).
thanks

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

A good friend won't stop talking to you just because you didn't attend her birthday party, especially if you have good reasons. Just say you're stuck babysitting and the parents haven't arrived and tell her you're sorry but don't think you can make it, but don't tell her now, just wait 'till it's the actual day at the time of the party. It's really no big deal, yeah it sucks you can't get into the bar but missing a birthday party shouldn't cause you to have an anxiety attack. Relax!

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

Hi Hopesanddreams28,
I'm sorry you feel like that, I think all of us have felt the same at some point :oops: I think to calm down your anxiety you should tell your friend as soon as possible that you won't be able to make it. The sooner you say it the sooner you'll start feeling better. Just talk to her and tell her you have to babysit longer and won't be able to make it so she can go ahead and you're sorry, but maybe you guys can go have dinner some other time. Don't say "i really wanted to go but.." because it might make her keep saying "we'll wait for you!" I hope you feel better, and remember this situation will end this year when DREAM passes! :D

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

the hookah bar around my areas dont card everybody who smokes. Just the person who orders the hookah. So you should still be able to show up and enjoy the party. Just be like "oh shi- i forgot to bring my id!!"

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

thanks guys.
verve - the place we're going cards upon entrance no matter what, i went to their website cuz i was hoping they were more lenient but it doesn't look like they are. my friends and i would be stuck between a rock and a hard place if i can't get in or "don't have my ID".

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

Do they really need a state issued id? If you have a school i.d you might want to give it a try. Usually these places just emphasize the importance of i.d on their sites or ads, but they don't enforce it at the door. They can't i.d everyone, takes too much time. Don't stress it, it's not a big deal if you go or don't go. It's just a birthday.

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

well i know if you're from Mexico you can go to the Mexican consulate and apply for a cedula id or matricula card other countries offer it too not sure what its called but you can use it to prove your age at the club, just not good to carry around all the time.

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

thanks but i'm not from mexico.

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

I recommend that you go to the Consulate of your country and get a passport. It will cost you a little, but you should have an ID, you may need it in an emergency. Plus, you would avoid situations like these, because foreign governmented issued passports are perfectly acceptable.

Re: friend's 20th birthday party..ID problem
 

sorry to hear about your dilemma. i understand your situation. i hate having to lie cause then you end up having to make more lies to cover up and it just continues to snowball. i agree with the others about trying to go to your consulate and get some sort of id.