I went to get a matricula today and it was so embarrassing lol

Everyone was looking at me like I didn't belong there, and I felt very uncomfortable. The whole process was dreadful and I felt like an animal. To be honest, I don't even remember why I went to get one. Like I know, but after I got the card I was just ashamed of it. Anyways, I guess I should be sorta grateful since I can get one ,but I don't even know what I would use it for.

I know my friend who goes to UCLA uses it to get into clubs and goes to Vegas all the time ,but I would be so embarrassed to use it.

I sound like an ungrateful bitch ,but that's how I felt today. I though my own community would treat me nice ,but no they were all rude and gave me the dirties looks.

On a lighter note, I passed all my classes this semester and I will finish my General ed next semester. I dont think I will be able to transfer because of $$$$ but w/e

I am out by 2009 if nothing happens. I will not feel like a caged animal anymore. I know everyone says that I will suffer and get kidnapped in Mexico, but at least I can say that I tried something different. I used to be afraid of everything, but I am not anymore.

I literally go crazy when I have nothing to do. I need to keep busy and I try but nothing keeps me busy anymore. I am also fed up with everyone expecting so much out of me.

However, now I have a little bit of comfort since two of my friends know. They want to help but I tell them that there's nothing that they can do. They are the only ones that are keeping me grounded...to an extend.

I'm just ranting and sorry if I sound all retarded lol

P.S I feel so bad because I havent worked out in two days