Hi all,

I guess I've been lurking for quite a few years, but I never really had the willpower to actually sign up. I'm 22 going on 23 this year, and I'm basically your classic DREAM case. Fortunately, I graduated valedictorian and got into a really good school and was able to manage. It was tough last year financially and I'm saddled with loans from my school, but at least I finished.

I guess I've just gotten increasingly bitter since I had to deny myself jobs and opportunities (really nice ones, too) because of my status. People keep asking me why I'm not doing this or that, but it's so tiring and demoralizing to answer. I have to lie everyday and I fight with my parents who continuously say "things will get better." I found out when I was young, talked to lawyers since I was a teenager, and every idea that I had to try to settle my case, my parents shot down saying that I've got nothing to worry about (riiiiggghhht). Seriously, my GPA fluctuated based on how depressed I was about my immigration case. It was pretty bad relatively speaking senior year of college.

Well, the DREAM Act has been out since 2001 and I really hope that this year, it will finally get passed. However, every time I get my hopes up, I crash when things don't work out. I hate talking to my friends since they all have great jobs (in banking, consulting) or in really good grad schools (med schools, masters programs) and they just look at me with pity. I can't date for this very reason; I can't trust anyone really since I'm so afraid that they'll find out and use the information against me.

I guess I signed up since I need more friends or people like me who are going through the same issues. After graduating with a great GPA, I was baby sitting 80 hours a week for a 140 dollars for the last two months and I don't have that job anymore. I'm so desperate since I live in the NYC area and I've been scanning craigslist for something, anything since I'm getting more depressed and my family is ridiculously in debt.

I've been voting and spreading the word and what not, but it's so hard to do so when you don't want people to know WHY, you know? Because people can put 2 and 2 together and then it's over... It's not that I'm ashamed, but it's just that I'm worried if someone finds out about me, what will happen to my family.

Sigh. Long post. Sorry.