u must not give up my friend, this is what they want for u not to succeed you are not the only one its hard yes, it is very tough to be here without any papers but u must not give up, i had your thoughts in my head also, i wanted to leave also even my father asked me if i want to go back and he will buy the ticket. i understand where you are coming from your just like me, im just like you , same situation, same way of thinking what u going through maybe hard but remember someone else it is more difficult for. u going back could be the biggest mistake of your life but this is your choice.