it's finally nice to have some people who can understand the frustration I feel because of being undocumented. I feel it to be hard to tell others that i'm illegal because of that fear of being deported. -.-;;

anyways.
I wasn't ALWAYS undocumented. I was born in Korea (South Korea, people ALWAYS ask -.-; and moved to America with my dad when I was 18 months. My dad was here on a student visa (he attended OSU then transferred to LSU) and did stuff in electrical engineering. After graduating, my dad began looking for jobs and eventually found one in Dallas. We moved to Dallas right before my 9th birthday.
After he was hired, my dad actually began to study for the citizenship test. However, 9/11 struck almost right after we bought our house.
Fast Forward about 6 years.
We had to renew our visa (a business visa now) but it was rejected because we didn't have a sponsor (a source of money).
Fast Forward about another 2 or 3 years.

I'm about to turn 18 (in 6 days~~) and I'm applying to colleges.
I was accepted to Baylor University about a month or two ago (with lots of scholarship money) and found out last week that they can rescind my admission if they found out about my illegal status.
Now, I'm desperately writing my essays and filling out my application for Texas A&M. The deadline for scholarship considerations has passed, and my parents ran out of money. I can't go get a job, and I don't qualify for alot of the merit scholarships OR the service scholarships OR even any of the undocumented student scholarships because they are mainly for Hispanics (no offense meant to any Hispanics :]). I'm planning on applying for TASFA but I doubt that they'll believe that we haven't lived with any significant source of income for the past year and a half (we still live in a house and live a "normal" life).
*sigh*

I always dreamed about attending a prestigious business school, majoring in Music and Business and then going to Korea to become a Kpop star and set up my own production company in Korea and in America. I guess the solution seems simple, I could just go back to Korea and study there but considering that I haven't been there basically since I've moved here, it's probably a worse move than staying here.
other people don't know what being held back from doing what you want means :/