I like this song because for a person like myself who received his first pair of lucite-heeled platforms at the tender age of 9 (by “received” I mean stole those babies from my aunt who just so happened to be dress like a hooker) this is pretty much the story of my life.

However, I feel like this video was probably paid for with a sloppy beejay and a Get a free McFlurry with the purchase a Bic Mac coupon queefed right out of the Sunday Times. If you look closely the wardrobe is mostly composed of “slightly imperfect” American Apparel duds and the contents found inside the trash bin behind the Lady Gaga Impersonator Academy for Trannys in Denton, Texas (don’t google it, as it only exists in my head)

Why the exegesis of this masterpiece of a mess, you ask? Because I’m bored and Stoli is not an option...tonight.