Quote:
Originally Posted by NewGen.011
I need some psychological support. I know this may not be in everybody's minds, but I just need to know if what I'm afraid of feeling is betrayal. Ever since I've been aware of my status, I've defended my home country, Mexico, from peoples' attacks on its politics, culture, economy, etc. Recently, with all these cartels and Drug War, I'm beginning to have second thoughts of what I think about Mexico. Is it betrayal for me to start having some kind of resentment for Mexico, looking at it as a, idk, poverty-stricken country with an unstable government. It's like I've forgotten its beauty. Idk. My feelings for the US are mixed as well. People like myself are not welcome and have been humiliated by the USC at least at one point in their lives.
It's a stupid thought, I know. But I feel like I don't have a country anymore. Mexico, because I don't know it and I have different thoughts about it now. And the US, because I'm not welcome and frowned upon by society.
When I told my dad about this, it looked like he was hurt. I don't want to hurt him talking about my country in a bad way.
I just don't know what to do anymore. What do you guys think? I'm tired of living this way.  |
Ianus is right.
Well, here are my unwelcome two cents. Think of Mexico as the mother who let your go as a child and the USA as the reluctant foster parent. It is only natural that you feel negative about both. One abandoned you and the other neglects you. It is also natural that you love both. One is where you came from and the other were you grew up.
Most dreamers learn to hate one country and love the other because we are always hammered by nationalism in both sides as if it was an absolute thing. If someone asked you to choose between you mom or dad it would tear you apart and when a parent demands you to choose a side is emotional abuse. Why can't we see it the same way?
So if we go with this Oprah psychology, we must learn to forgive both for all the pain and confusion. Having any kind of resentment will only hurt you because even if you were brought as a baby and cannot understand your "native" language, you are still an immigrant with immigrant values. After all, your parents raised you and they by default are immigrants. Even though you're from another country you're an American. Hating them will only means that you hate yourself because you came from both of them.
The only difference that I see bewteen the US and Mexico is that in Mexico people break the law and in the US we legalized unfairness. There I said it.
And well, since I am wearing my pundit hat, here it is. News are supposed to be damming. They make a job at showing what is wrong so that society can fix it. Also, when talking about other nations, since the reporter has nothing to lose, they are more willing to say what is really going on. That is why the fact that there were no weapons of mass destruction was acknowlege in all the world but the USA and a futile war was created out of an inept media. Mexican journalist will get kill either by the government or the drug lords.
If you base your opinion of any culture, country, religion or gender based on the news, you will only become a person likely to discriminate againts others. Since you know what is like to be discriminated and prosecuted don't you think is only fair that you stop the circle of hatred here?
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It is easier to debate the state of the world than to work to make it better.
-Larry Tramutola