Well, it is a lot harder being gay and undocumented. You aren't just hiding one aspect of yourself, but two. It's twice the discomfort in society. It's twice the feeling of being a second class citizen. You have these people who hate you because you are gay, and then you have them hate you because you are undocumented. It's difficult enough to come to terms with being different, but to have it being complicated by other aspects outside of your control can lead to a very deep depression.

I've always felt a lot more comfortable coming to terms with my sexual orientation than my undocumented status. I've never lied to myself, I'm gay, and that's just who I am. I am not going to make any qualms about it either. It's still difficult for me though because eventually I will just have to bust that closet door full open and I'm worried what my family's reaction will be. My father and brother are such chauvinistic males who hold on to these really strong traditional views. And, my nieces and nephews, who I've grown to love so much, are beginning to get these homophobic view points at school. I squirm whenever I hear "gay" being used in such a negative light. It'll break my heart if they reject me, but that's life. I need to harden myself from all these judgmental people in the world, even if it's my own family. I need to follow my heart, and be true to myself against the world. I know I will have my mom on my side though. She has shown me what unconditional love is, and that is enough for me to keep going even in my worst moments.

I've never been open with anyone about my undocumented status. My family told me early on to keep it a secret, so that it won't be used against me. I got a sense of embarrassment about it. It didn't really affect me until I got into college. I saw the limits of my potential. It became depressing, and eventually I just shut down. I wouldn't leave my room. It's always been where I felt safest. But, I also saw everything I wanted flash by. I never expected to spend my early adulthood in depression. I would get angry at myself for not being able to claim what I wanted. Yet, I couldn't tell people, because there is a chance they could use it against me. I've had friends who abandon me in my worst of times. I could not risk it. I feel better about my opportunities with DACA, but I'm still embarrassed to admit that I'm undocumented.