They're alive!
Two days after hitting my 90 day mark (since they received my app) the status changed from "Initial Review" to nothing at all. I was getting sick of seeing the same blue circle above initial review. None of them are selected now because they just sent me an RFE.

Not quite what I was hoping for but there's comfort in knowing they're working on it. Now I'm going to go stand by the door and wait for the mail so I can figure out what kind of evidence they want.