wow we are so similar it's scary.I came over here when I was three also and sometimes I wish I never had.But then I think of all the people that I have in my life and all the experiences that I have had here and Im glad Im here.Yeah I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years (and three months lol) and I love him so much,but I dont even know how to tell him what I am. I think if I were gay coming out the closet would be a piece of cake compared to this.Im scared to tell him now because I’ve been with him for so long and never told him before. Now it feels like ive been deceiving him or something.What's funny is that I have no problem telling strangers Im undocumented. I know he wont stop loving me or anything if I tell him, it’s just too embarrassing for me.When we talk he's always giving me advice about getting a job,or how important it is for me to get my state Id.He even offers to teach me how to drive so that I could get my liscense.Every time he lectures me I see yeah your right or I just change the topic. I never ever tell him I cant do any of the above.If I do now Ill seem like a liar. My story is so sad.I met him when i was 13 going on 14(freshmen year) and he was 16.That first year was the best year of my life.Then the summer after my freshmen year of highschool my parents found out I was dating someone ,because I accidentally got a huge hicky on my neck.I know I know stupid me.They grounded me for a whole summer.My parents are Dominican and very strict on dating.I had to stay in my room,no phone ,no house visits,no going outside what so ever.I also had to deal with my mom calling me all kinds of sluts and whores.I went into major depression that summer because I just sat in a dark room for so long.Then when I was almost of punishment at the end of the summer they found out who it was that I had been dating.Troy,the black boy from around the corner.They almost killed me.Im mean seriously my Dad beat the crap out of me.It was his first time ever laying his hands on me,all because my boyfriend was black.I had to lye and say we had broken up.Meanwhile my boyfriend stuck by my side throughout the whole thing.He used to write me letters everyday and throw it in my window.He would come to see me whenever my parents left me alone for even 5 minute.When school started he would come pick me up from school and walk me home.My sophomore year was so hard.My parents didnt ease up on their strictness and my moms verbal abuse got worse. I kept getting even more depressed. My grade started dropping, I was sleeping all the time in school.I lost a lot of friends. I even started cutting myself. Please don’t think I went all crazy because I couldnt be with a guy.I just hated myself and my life in general.My sister who is an american got to go on many vacations to dominican republic while I had no choose but to stay in this hell hole I call my home. Thankfully, I still got to see my boyfriend everyday by sneaking around.He was all I had to keep me sane. Little by little my parents started giving me my privileges back because they thought me and troy had decided to just be friends. Till this day they don’t know I’m still with him.The stroy gets sadder.Im out of highschool, in my freshmen year of college and Troy has moved away. He went upstate to get his life together and left me all alone. He asked me to go move in with him soon, but guess what I cant? Why? Because I don’t have a ss# and how else will I be able to get a steady job to support myself upstate.And because I don’t get financial aid and my dad pays my tuition for me. If I leave this house especially for "el moreno" that they hate I think they will disown me.

sorry for writing so much I just wanted to get my story out there.Oh and if you need help with anything I willing to help you.