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vivace · 11-17-2016, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by complicatedc33

Over the last two days I have been stepping back in the idea of marrying. I know it's my only option, but the thought of it makes me sick. I have been trying to trick myself into going for it. Even though I have been with my partner for 6 years I resent him. I hate how he doesn't work as hard as I do. He doesn't save money like I do. He doesn't suffer like I do. I just dont know what to do because I know I'm going to continue living here. I do appreciate him, and care about him. I just see marriage and a ceremony an obstacle. It makes me sad. I love myself and my hard work. I feel like a marriage lowers me, what I stand for. I need to help myself save myself by marrying. I just need to suck it up and make it happen. I really don't know if I'm able to pull it off. It doesn't help that I am a little bit of a feminist, and do not want to be taken by a man and a paper.

Beeeeep! Pump the brakes.

Have you ever thought that maybe you don't like the idea of marrying someone because you resent your someone? It doesn't sound like you love him.

I was with a guy for four years, and we talked about getting married. Hell, he bought a damn ring! And I still broke up with him because he didn't make me happy enough. Of course, this was all pre-Trump, but hey, even then I respected myself enough to leave a bad relationship.

Being a feminist and being married are not mutually exclusive. Why would marriage lower you? Why would choosing to have your relationship be recognized in the eyes of the law lower you? Why does that make you less of a strong, independent woman? It doesn't. Being a feminist means being able to choose whatever path you want.

Dump him, find a guy who actually excites you, and marry him. It's okay to let someone help you. And listen to lemonlilly; she's a wise gem.