Hello everyone. I'm not so new here. I wrote a thread a couple months back explaining my situation, but I forgot my screen name and password so I had to make a new one. Well my name is Marlenne and lately I have been feeling so lost. It's like I have no one that can understand my situation. Not even my friends or parents. I am currently attending a community college and working. The reason why I feel lost is because I feel like the things I'm doing or not going to get me anywhere, but I also know it's better than not doing anything at all. Like if I graduate college and get a degree..what am I gonna do after that?? I'm not gonna be able to obtain a job because of the lack of a ss#. I am 19 years old and I still have to depend on my dad to take me to school and work. I feel so dependent of my dad for many reasons and it just kills me sometimes because I feel like he is wasting his time in driving me everywhere . He is also illegal, but has had his license since we've been here (14 years) because of when they actually would let illegals obtain a drivers license. Sometimes I feel so left out because all my friends drive and are already independent by themselves and I'm still here being dependent off my parents. I get so angry sometimes at the mere fact that I can't drive myself anywhere and I just get so emotional that I start crying until I forget about it. But then once again the situation arises and I start thinking about it and start crying again. I guess I'm just depressed because of everything that I've been through and I always pray to God to help me and my family get through this, but I always feel like my prayers don't get answered. I've literally lost hope in this dream act which seems like it's the only way I can finally stop living in the shadows. My dad always tells me why I'm in such a hurry to drive and I tell him it's not even the fact that I want to drive so bad, it's just the fact that I've basically grown up in this town all my life and I feel like this is the place where I belong and it just hurts to see all my friends that I grew up with and went to pre-school with doing things that I can't do. It hurts me alot. My parents always tell me that something is going to happen soon, but I've been told that for 5 years now..when I actually started asking questions about my status and I've just given up hope. I want to go back to Mexico sometimes, but there is no point. I haven't been there in like 12 years and it wouldn't feel like home even though I was born there. But also even though this is my home --Texas-- I feel like I'm not wanted here. Like that song goes.."Ni soy de aqui, ni soy de alla." I don't know, I just feel like I stress this driving situation too much. I cry over it all the time and it angers me that I can't do the things that others can. I should be lucky that I work a good paying job and attend a school with financial aid, even though I'm illegal. I guess there is only so much more I can take of this situation until I finally give up, you know? I don't know who else to talk to about this and my first stop was this forum because I know someone out there can understand what I'm going through. And all I need right now is some comfort really...