why suicide?
http://iamashadow.wordpress.com/2008/06/22/why-suicide/

Why is the suicide worst among Hispanics. Well, the following study attempts to answer that but I will go into more detail. Well, I can easily answer that as someone who has almost committed suicide and now recuperating with medication. Life isn’t easy for an undocumented student. Well, I can’t speak for the entire Hispanic population because I’m different but I can speak with some authority about undocumented students because I am one.

Why was suicide the answer. Believe me when I say that being one of three undocumented students at a school that houses almost 18,000 undergraduate students, the pressure is to the maximum to succeed and to basically not fuck it up for those who might following. In my case, I knew that if I did badly, it would like badly for all undocumented students trying to follow on my footsteps because the administration would just say that because I failed, all would fail. There is no such thing as failure in my life. Then there is the issue of trust and privacy. How can I live in a place where everyone is different to me in the most fundamental ways like freedom to drive, to travel, to live in peace, to not have nightmares and not be stressed 24/7. Believe me, I am stressed 24/7, my balding head (I’m 19) is proof to that. Who could I trust? Who could I tell my secret to? Living as an undocumented student is like living a lie almost, because you have to pretend to be like everyone else, certainly act like it, when in reality you are not.

How can one not feel sad and hopeless when you see in the news and the Internet that you are being called scum, among other things, for the simple fact of being something that you didn’t even choose to be. It affects the psyche and self-esteem. Hopefully though, as things get worse, they will eventually get better. Things have gotten better for me, because I found great friends and people I can trust. And my grades have gone up which makes my life easier.

oh man...