I do agree that it is too wordy. You loose audience without time or attention span when articles are too long. Lets not talk out the border security vs. wall stuff. Let Congress figure out the details.

Keep it basic containing the following main points: 1) Please protect us as part of a bipartisian bill. 2) Do it sooner than later so people don't expire and loose jobs. 3) Chants like "All of us or None of us" do not represent the majority. 4) We are greatful, thankful (throw in some more adjectives) to show that we are not taking this for granted and recognize that we are not entitled to shit.