Hey! I've been lurking on here since this summer but I guess I waited until now to create an account. Funny, I should be studying for a final exam right now (though I already don't think I'm going to do too well on it). I'm a senior in college in Manhattan, NY. I'm a homosexual cisgendered male and from a country in Asia and I was brought here just a little before 9/11 when I was 3. My parents attempted to immigrate legally but an arbitrary decision led to one of their renewals being rejected, a great example of our broken immigration system. Rather than go back and start over, they decided to overstay. They didn't tell me about my undocumented status until I turned 15 and I could apply for DACA. Initially, I used my status as a way of encouraging myself to succeed and achieve things. I didn't want it to ever bar me from my dreams. Initially, it got me kinda far. I got into a college I really wanted to go to in a city that I really wanted to live in and I had so much hope for my future. 4 years later, I've lost almost all that hope. Although my undocumented status was not the only factor, it has contributed to the deterioration of my mental health. My mind has gone to a lot of dark places and still frequently goes to these really dark places. I know a lot of you encourage each other to pick yourself up by your bootstraps but sometimes it's pretty hard to do so and you feel like you're in a really dark place with no way out. I have felt that way for a long time. Anyway I know this is becoming some sort of self pity filled rant and the best place for it is a therapist's office but sometimes therapists aren't particularly helpful. I actually talked to a campus therapist a while ago, revealed my status and she questioned how I found my way to my university. Although mental health is talked about a little bit, it doesn't seem to get too much attention so I hope to help create a positive safe environment for us, people have essentially no other place to talk about these issues and be understood.
I am sorry to hear you are not feeling well, but let me tell you that you are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of us are waking up everyday hoping that one day we will get out of this limbo. I understand what you are saying, although therapists can be helpful, sometimes it is better to talk to people who can truly understand your situation. I don't know what other issues you are struggling with besides your undocumented status, but hang in there! I am sure you have people that care about you and would not want you to be sad. And now you have this community, you'll have support here as well.
Thanks so much for the kind words Busybee (or El ). I hope that I can find some support here. Though I really hope that I won't need to find any support here because a path to citizenship passes soon (like you all probably do as well).