I said something that I regret saying - Page 2

After going back to my birth country on AP, I finally understood why my entire family left.
If it is possible for you, I would try get AP and visit your birth country. It might give you some perspective.

I regret coming to America on a tourist visa and overstaying it.
Worst mistake of my life.
I was 15.
I did not know fully what kind of world I was getting myself into.
I had no idea of the ramifications of it.
I have been paying for this mistake ever since.
I am 38 now.
Still paying for something I did when I was 15.

I don't regret anything of what my parents have done.

I know its easy to lash out at them, but they really did move me to a far better situation. Sometimes you have to grab the bull by the horns and grab liberty for yourself with your own hands no matter what the consequences are. What do you have to lose? Your slum shack will always be there waiting for you and the upside is tremendous. Your birth nation will always be there for you no matter how mal-adapted we might be to it nowadays. I've been told I have an American accent to my LatAm Spanish. So funny!

Got to travel across the US. Lived in multiple regions. West Coast, East Coast, Mid West, South West. Got to go on vacations and simply relax by the ocean. Got to simply enjoy doing nothing.

I got to see the statue of liberty multiple times on my flight to Newark NJ to meet connecting flights. And I gotta say she is incredible and breathtaking. The previously impossible dream of air travel, had become a reality and a normal part of my life. Still, the fear was palpable in my chest as I handed TSA my documents for the very first time.

With DACA I got to live a relatively normal life as other Americans do and I do consider myself American. I had to wrestle with that part of my identity for a decade at least. Because who even am I is a painful question. But I went to all of my education here, made friends, made romances, made enemies (who hasn't?) and built up a life here. Even more hilarious and as deeper proof is that I somehow adopted parts of the Ulster Scot culture of the 17th century that became responsible for the worst and best aspects of the southerner culture into my own psyche somehow. And I noticed this on trips between the south(where I grew up) and the mid west.

Got to attend college and sure I had to pay out of state, but we managed. Every single systemic roadblock I adapted to, overcame, and thrived under. It made me tough mentally and spiritually with the patience of a monk and the force of will to move mountains. I got to drive a car. Get a job. Things that are mundane for them are incredible life changing events. I was finally able to just participate in society and it was incredibly freeing. I even got to attend a top 10 computer school for graduate study. Just an incredible opportunity that never in my wildest dreams would I have accomplished in Mexico. This is why my performance is so high in various classes and other studies I take, because it literally means life and freedom. Maybe its an obsessive disorder, but my parents always stressed the importance of education and I took that message to heart. US of A is the top educational destination and it is something I made sure to take full advantage of.

Like finally being able to breathe. Nevertheless, I set out two objectives.

1. Study as much as possible, skills are worth their weight in gold x 1,000
2. Stack $

They can never understand what it was like to finally get that EAD and take the first steps into liberty and freedom because their citizenship was gifted to them by circumstance, never had to fight for even the small DACA scraps. Just luck of the draw. Nobody controls where they start. They Never had to wait at home alone as a child wondering if your parents were caught somewhere. Never had that feeling in your stomach when a sensitive immigration topic comes up. And yes, maybe you could say I was gifted an EAD through circumstance too for after all nobody really belongs anywhere. We just exist, life flows, and our choices make us who we are. In any case I feel appreciative of the life I have and the sacrifices made.

They want adherence to arcane and byzantine laws at any price at any cost, even to their own severe detriment. They are even saying it now when trying to puzzle out the bill for deportations. What can you do? I am powerless to save them from themselves. I'm watching the nation I grew up in, and frankly love despite all, literally go up in flames to the roaring and thunderous applause of 63 million. Is this how the roman empire fell? It doesn't even sting that so many are against me, but instead I feel honored that its so many. Honored to have shared this country with everyone, even those who hate me, honored to have lived here, and finally I am ready to win.

None of this would've been possible had we stayed and just complied with the rules and for that I will be eternally grateful to my parents. So yeah,

Thank you mom and dad for everything.

Bravo, glad you are optimistic about your journey and congratulations on all you have accomplished. Everything is a matter of perspective.