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Mental health testimonies
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Thanks, buckminsterfullerene |
Re: Mental health testimonies
This is a very important issue. The Dream resource center will have a live stream this Tuesday! I urge all to watch if they have the time. It will help those with problems, and those of you who aren't aware of them. http://awesomescreenshot.com/0481f14ab
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Re: Mental health testimonies
no job = no money = no social life = mental issues.
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Re: Mental health testimonies
no job = no money does not necessarily equal mental health issues, but it does place people in greater susceptibility.
A site has been lunched specifically focusing on the mental health of undocumented individuals, undocuhealth.org, it includes resources, publications, and tons of information, there is also a radio program that people can phone into every Tuesday if I am not mistaken that focuses on a variety of topics dealing with undocumented youth and brings individuals that have been involved in the topic on question. It is titled UndocuHour with Sonia and Angy. I will try to find more details on how to call into this program and post it here. |
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I suffered from extreme jealousy for a long time, and I still get jealous sometimes, but I realize it now and that enables me to cast away those feelings and replace them with something other than that feeling. I realized that living with jealousy is not being happy. So what I'm saying is that you can't help being jealous, but know that when you become jealous you should release those feelings and their emotional charge so that you can be happy.
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I have anxiety when I just think about going outside... It's terrible. Then when I actually make it outside it goes away. Last night I had trouble falling asleep, too many What if's? in my life.
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Re: Mental health testimonies
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How many of you get anxious when someone asks you why you don't drive? How many of you feel worried when someone looks through your passport when you use it as a form of ID? How many of you come up with ridiculous explanations when people ask you why you are doing whatever-it-is-that-you're-doing despite having a college degree? I know I do.... However, when one actually thinks about these questions, there are plenty of cases where an individual could be legal, hell even a US citizen (except for the foreign passport I guess) , and still be in this situation. Yet, most of us immediately relate them to our status, and the older we get the more pronounced this becomes. For me, seeing kids who are 16-18 complaining about not being able to have a DL like their friends is completely hilarious, for two reasons: a) I myself thought it was the worst thing possible when I was their age, and b) because they are still identifying it as something they WISH they could do, and not as something they are NOT ALLOWED to do. Initially, they see this as something that would make their lives better, and look at it as a step necessary to fit in and be accepted by society. Ironically enough, most of their friends hardly think about it, and in most cases they are just happy they can drive themselves. However, as more and more things are added to the mix, and you get older , these thing tend to accumulate and you end up with a) no ID b) no car c) no real job or even a chance thereof d) fairly useless college degree e) no way to travel safely, and as we all have learnt the hard way, hundred other things. Eventually, these things start to define you, and you end up with two horrible choices: you can either lie about your status and try assume an identity and personality of somebody that simply does not exist, or be open about your status and risk being ostracized for it, and a multitude of other possible consequences such action might have. It is not different than any other form of PTSD, or even long term GAD, where the person often chooses to act as if the act did not happen in front of others, or live in a constant worry that either others will find out or that it will happen again. Several of the main symptoms of PTSD, and GAD in general, are: - Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event - Feeling like you have no future - Having an exaggerated response to things that startle you Now, since in our case it is a little difficult to avoid being undocumented, 1) can be applied to a hundred different things. 3) might be certain questions, or simple statement another person makes and I think 2) pretty much speaks for itself. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
hmmmm... i say lets get married ;D
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I'm currently a freshman in college, and although I have managed to survive throughout high school with these fears, slowly but surely I am starting to break down. The effects of my situation are very transparent. I shifted from a social individual to a shy/reserved individual as the years pass. My desire to talk to people, have a connection, build relationships has always seemed to be interconnected to my ability to travel, drive, and significantly in trust and honesty, but it's pretty unrealistic to be honest when we are dealing with this situation. At first glance at my life one can ask, "what have you suffered?" I do admit that I have had an awesome experience in the United States accredited to my supportive and caring parents by traveling, eating out, hanging out with friends, and overall just simply being your typical 'American.' However, the emotional pain of constant lying and fear of activities that shouldn't even invoke fear in individuals has driven me to a point where I see no success in my future. Now someone tell me, ARE YOU ENJOYING LIFE IN AMERICA? (Jesus, I needed to rant because I was going insane.) |
Re: Mental health testimonies
Sanity Check.
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Re: Mental health testimonies
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What he observes through that article is the process which many youth go through as they leave high school and head into college or maybe not into college but just the workforce in general, outside of the protection that they were able to get while in high school. Since at that time they are not denied education, they are not asked for pieces of documentation identifying their status (at least at the time they were not, Alabama changed that for a couple of months), resulting in being able to have an easier time surviving. But once you leave that context and head to the next stage of life, there is the appearance of a series of obstacles. I am still in the process of reading the article and have not finished yet, mostly because it leaves me in a pensive state as I go back through my own experiences growing up. I also survived through high school, and was immensely successful considering that I was able to get internships, take a couple duel enrollment classes, take AP and honors classes and attend one of the best high schools in the country. The future looked bright, there was interest being displayed by some very prominent universities after I had somehow managed to land an internship in one of the best nanotechnology labs in the country, yet, my status became an obstacle and I settled for the cheapest school. I thought that I could navigate through the school without a problem just as I did through high school, but there was one difference, there was the appearance of additional obstacles, the cost of education, the lack of assistance, the lack of knowing the university's response and the lack of finding people that would be able to answer even basic questions considering my circumstances, needing to drive, unable to get jobs or internships. All of that hunted me from 2007 until 2011. By the second year my mental status was not the best, I was angry at everything, but internalized all those emotions, it would occasionally come out in bursts but I was able to hide it from people, the only victims would be the dishes in the kitchen, the pillow, and the books. By the time I figured out what was going on, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and severe depression. The help I found in the counseling center was limited, they did not know how to deal with me, and their solution was to hear me out, which I do not think was a great idea, because allowing thoughts to come out without having any solution is not going to achieve anything other than allow me to realize the futility of my circumstances. The best thing that occurred was the end of the free sessions that the school offers (they cap it at 16 free hour long sessions). Ending those sessions and not thinking about the futility of my situation allowed me to concentrate in school once more and my grades to go back up. Eventually I would take a philosophy class that would tackle issues in a manner that I found interesting, it demonstrated what seemed like a history dotted with movements that were comparable to ours all throughout latin america, the question on citizenship by those born from foreign parents had surfaced and been debated by De Las Casas a long time ago. It allowed me gain the confidence to seek help outside of the campus from a movement that was gaining some traction, and just about a year ago, I told my story to a room of 40 individuals in the same situation for the first time, and started what has now formed into two new organizations on my campus, meetings with dozens of people every week and working on projects with the intention of finding solutions that will benefit more people in this situation. I have helped organize training sessions for mental health experts, know your rights workshops for parents, students and counselors, shout it out for the community, been in discussion in different culture groups to correlate in the similarity of our circumstances, and brought outside problems to be discussed in a place where immigration was never really touched. At the lowest point my mental health started manifesting itself in very physical manners, from nausea, to headaches, considerable lethargy, inability to sleep at night, the occasional heart pounding anxiety attack (at least, not I think that is what I faced, they were sudden bursts of energy I could not explain what to do with and left me restless with my heart pounding very fast). Along with the inability to concentrate, the inability to block certain thoughts out, the inability to find enjoyment in what I used to enjoy before, having a hard time remembering things. It all combined to leave me in a very bad social situation, going from a person that could go to a person and befriend them quickly, to someone that was more isolated. Just in the last couple of months I have been able to find a lot more opportunities than I did the first 4 years of college, because if you don't ask for help, no one is going to know that you need help, that is what I have learned through this whole process. |
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@buckminsterfullerene - Thanks for linking that article.
Page 15/18 “Their entry into a stigmatized identity has negative and usually unanticipated consequences for their educational and occupational trajectories, as well as for their friendship and social patterns.” This relates well to Gebodup post. It’d be interesting to gather information on those who have been waiting for 10 years +. And compare it to those beginning their efforts. Or to those who has given up on legalizing. (Either by forced or self deportation.) More on topic: My anxieties have compounded: constant feelings of failure, mood swings, etc. I’ve given up verbally speaking to others altogether. I lack a support system. But believe many of my problems would lessen if I had family, friends, etc. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
so what do you actually have to do to save yourself from going crazy??
Possible answers: 1.keep yourself busy. -with what? School? well i dont have enough money to pay for school. Besides if i do finish college, what the heck am i going to do with my degree... some of you may say, well make sure you take a course that will be in the S.T.E.M program.. and my answer is like, uhmm my brain can't handle those kind of course and its too damn expensive. Work? yea i have a job. ive been working there for 6 years. ive been there for so long to the point where i can do my job with my eyes closed. But despite of me being so reliable in that job, my salary hasn't been affected. HA! i work 40 hours a week and i get paid with less than the average per hour income. aint that a bitch? 2.hang out with friends -what friends? oh do you mean, the friends i made during high school, but ever since graduation, they went out and made something out of themselves. went to college and graduate and now they have a career? and some got married and have kids? And once in awhile some of my friends will have a little gathering to catch up, and i will get invited but i chose not to go because its either they will go to a club or a bar, you know the place where i cant go? since i dont have an I.D.? 3.Get a hobby -Hobby? sure i have a hobby.. i love to draw.. but seriously? how far can my hobby really take me? you can only do your hobby in a certain amount of time until it gets old and boring.. and you start thinking about the reality. the reality that life is passing you by..... 4.Spend time with family -i love my family to death. But its kinda hard to hide your emotions towards your parents.. you know that bitterness emotion with a little bit of hate? Every time i have a talk with my dad about my situation it always end up, me being angry at him. Its hard not to get that emotional with him because i feel like he couldve done something to make it better. maybe im wrong, maybe im just looking for someone to blame. i dnt know. 5.be more spiritually involved -Im a christian. Ive talked to God about my situation. Cried and Begged. but for some reason, He's not answering me. 6.stop complaining and think about the other people who's going through harder times than us. -Yea, maybe there are other people who's going through alot worse than I am. But honestly, the amount of stress that this situation put me in. I cant think right. Im exhausted. so tell me, what else should I or anyone else who feels like they've done everything to stay sane? hmmmm... I'm just really exhausted and i know all of you feels the same way. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
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1. There are other ways to remain busy, I find the repetitious job to not be as helpful. Besides, we have to move away from this mentality that education is everything. While I may be sort of guilty for pushing that idea to some respect, it is just not everything in life. The point is, to keep reading, keep learning. I have done monotonous jobs, its annoying as hell, once you can do it with your eyes close, i simply recall just spending the time I did the work just thinking about my situation and that certainly did not help. The point is, try to think of something a bit more constructive. If you can't go to college because of the cost, then teach yourself. Frankly, I feel like that is the case when you are in some courses in the university level. There is ocw.mit.edu , and other universities have similar systems, I believe stanford and harvard have something similar as well. 2. Try to make new friends that understand you better, they are out there, trust me. As I was in college I lost contact with all my high school friends as they started to get jobs and internships and doing all these cool things that I just could not do, as their outings took place in locations I could not go to. But, now I have a new set of friends, these ones know about my situation and a lot share the same status, we end up working together trying to find ways to get ahead. It keeps us busy, doing something rather than nothing. 3. I have a hobby as well... I collect coins, you really cannot do much with that hobby either, lol. As far as my drawing skills, I would be lucky to draw a straight line, the point is, the hobby is to keep you busy some times, to have you think of something else when you have absolutely nothing else to do. 4. You have gone much further than I have. I feel like I keep my parents far away from everything I do, its easy for me, I am in a school that is located in a different state and I get far more stressed when I go back home, so I understand it. But it was rather an idea when you feel like you just have to tell someone something but are not willing to tell anyone else. My frustrations are exacerbated by the fact that my parents are now Permanent Residents and my sister a US Citizen, and as by magic, the completely forgot what it was like to be undocumented, its unbelievable the kinds of mistakes and assumptions that they make, thus I had to seek other people to talk to. 6. I get you, I was in that situation a couple years ago, extremely lethargic to the point that I could barely function, its not pretty. I don't think I can give a one size fits all solution, but I can say what worked for me. I sought other people in the same situation who are doing something about it, and I started to get involved. I took what I observed through my experience and I made it my goal to try and do something about it, and make the change that I believe needs to happen. I looked at a letter that I had sent still less than a year ago, which followed the first time I told anyone about my status, and in that time have planned well over a dozen events, given presentations to hundreds of people, talked to various professionals in various fields, and have been involved in one way or another to the explosion in new students that are undocumented at my school, created organizations and advocated for resources, talked to CEO's that would try to find a way to get away from me but couldn't because no one would approach them, and talked to people that seriously do not get it. Very little surprises me now in how people respond to what I tell them, but perhaps the most recent surprise I got was when I spoke to high schools from a predominantly black school who are not undocumented, and how fast they got it, how fast they understood what I talked to them about. I have talked to some pretty powerful people who just didn't get it, even people that consider themselves allies, and I gotta say, my hope in youth was enforced then. I have also talked to other high school students in other schools that are in areas that are much worse towards immigrants and who are undocumented, and I saw a lot of people not only getting into college, but also having the support of private individuals that where paying their way through college, and that is something I did not observe when I was applying for college. It may seem like things are getting worse and they are in some places, but the support is also increasing. The actions that are being taken against us are very unstable and dangerous and when exposed more likely to move this away from being a political issue to a human rights and civil rights issue. Again, this is what worked for me, and it worked because I found such a group, I don't know that I would have observed the same result if I had not been fortunate to be where I am right now, but in the mean time, there is this group that is online and accessible to all that have an internet connection. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
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1. The keeping yourself busy, do ANYTHING. Trust me, even browsing through the internet, working out, learning, reading, writing, I help out at my house and my parents...that has kept me from going crazy when I'm not out with friends. 2. I have friends that have been going to college, are moving on, but they're my friends, and they understand. The ones that know, they don't get it but they understand, and will accommodate for me, and even the ones that don't (although they have to suspect by now), they do too because they think all of my problems are because I'm poor, don't have a car, which is the big mode of transportation here, which explains the lack of a job. So make friends. You never know, some of them might help you, even without their knowing. For the ID, get a passport. If you ask before you go, there are some places that will let you in. A customer's a customer. I've gone clubbing and used it as ID to visit friends at college; the worst they do is ask me little questions or look at it curiously. 3. Keep changing your hobbies. Try new things. Get Netflix. lol. 4. This one is hard for me. Can't help you there. Let me vent.I hate my house. I see them all the time cause I'm not off at college or working. I hate being mean but I can only take them in small doses.I know they had their best interest at heart. They clearly didn't think through though. Now I'm not bitter or mad at them for the past, but for the present. Cause I feel like sometimes they make it worse .My dad still gets mad when they know someone else knows. It's supposed to be our dirty little secret even though it's so OBVIOUS!! I can't drive, don't have my license, have a passport as ID,don't have a job, can't get help for schooling even though I was a smart girl and should be poor enough to get all funding??? I can be a good liar and cover up well, but I can't cover the big elephant for very long. My extended family's no better. That's all they can talk and ask me about. That's why I barely talk to them. I have nothing new to update on; only different things in my life are boys and friends. They try to tell me to suck it up, to get a job, telling me what I SHOULD do, like really? You don't think I've thought of that? I'm not an imbecile, and it's all I constantly think of, so OBVIOUSLY I've thought of every single thing you have told me. I love my family, don't get me wrong. They think they're helping, but it does the opposite. 5. Good luck with that. I was actually going to make a post about this. I love God. But I have been so angry. I have begged for signs as to what I should do. I get signs, but not about this. I felt awful because I got angry at God. I know I'm not perfect and don't follow all of that to the letter, but honestly, I'm not that bad. So why am I like this when He knows how hard it's been? I need a break. We all need a break 6. I used to think this way. I still do. But if we don't complain, it gets all bottled up. I don't know about you, but bottling up that anger and those awful feelings I have had would've been the worst idea. I function because I let them out in some way. Even with that I have anger problems too. I've learned to control my anger through my father, because he would never tolerate that. But the amount of anger I feel inside once I do get angry...I don't think it's normal. There are other things to contribute, but this is the major reason. My status is like the virus of my life. It infects everything in my life. In some aspects of my life, it's dormant. In others, there's an immunity. The rest, it's consumed and taken control. The anger's subsided, but the hopelessness is worse. It's a cycle for me. Feelings of sadness/ depression/hopeless/helpless/anger. And around it goes. I will say though, I'm grateful I don't seem to have problems as severe as others. Kudos to you all on getting through all of this. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
Usually before I go to bed I pray for myself, my family and those that are less fortunate than I am. Last night I prayed that I wouldn't wake up =\
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Re: Mental health testimonies
Pray for something else..
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Re: Mental health testimonies
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So number 1. Keep yourself busy. There might not be a lot I can say about this, but I know I might get you to understand what you should be doing. How do we keep from going insane? In our situations it seems like there is no answer to that question. That only a few lucky guys have it good and the rest are just suffering with no light at the end of the tunnel. Well the only difference between you and those lucky guys is that they actually think they're lucky and you don't have a reason to think like that. Find a reason. Nobody's life is perfect we are all missing things we need. Even Warren Buffet would trade his fortune to have your youth because something we lose become more important when they're gone and not while we have them. I'll leave it up to you to figure out what you should be grateful for. I personally think that the whole point of life is to be happy. And to do whatever it takes to be happy for as long as possible. So with that said "keeping yourself busy" is not the answer. Keep yourself happy. Happiness isn't a destination and it is not conditional. It is an inner feeling that you privilege yourself. Realize being alive is reason enough to be jumping for joy. number 2. Friends... What can I say about friends that will be refreshing and helpful. Friends is a word that has become ambiguous in meaning as the hands of time turn. I'm sure you have friends from high school, friends from church, friends from work, friends on facebook, etc. What makes them friends and what are they supposed to be doing to make me feel better? The answer is you make them friends and they aren't supposed to be doing anything to make you happy. Like I said you are the key to your own happiness. So for something that hits a little closer to home. How about you organize a get together. At a place suitable for you. I'm sure some would be happy to go and spend time with you. 3 get a hobby. Hobbies are great. I love astronomy. I could sit outside all night just looking at the stars. I'm lucky my neighbor is in the astronomy club and he takes me to the observatory to look through and volunteer with telescopes. A hobby isn't a prescription for sanity it is just something you enjoy doing. So find new hobbies other than just drawing maybe you'll find something that doesn't bore you after awhile. 4 Family. Family is important because in the end they are the ones who care and will always care. Sometimes friends become family and you don't even realize it. Be glad you can see your dad. Maybe you don't even have to talk to him just be glad he is there. Not everyone is that fortunate. 5 If God gave us everything we asked for would we ever learn? He gave us free will because we deserve to make the choices that shape our own lives. The reason there are bad feelings in the world is so that we may recognize the good feelings. I'm sure you've heard that. Consider your situation an opportunity. An opportunity to surmount hardship and still be great person. Think about the person you would be, what kind of character you would have if everything was given to you always. I know my situation has been hard and it still is, but I love the person I am and in a different situation I don't think I would of come out the same. Keep a strong faith, and remember they are all opportunities what you choose to do with them will determine the very essence of your soul. Number 6 is a doozy. There is always someone bigger, better, stronger, faster, less-fortunate, poorer, sadder... The list goes on infinitely in both directions. So what. This is about you. And what you are going to do, and what you are going be. You have the tools for greatness I believe everyone does, we all just need that small push in the right direction. So I hope you like what I've said and it helped you reform your conclusions. Always keep an open mind, follow the golden rule, but most of all feel happy. |
Re: Mental health testimonies
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and I never get to see them. He is a Gynecologist so he is well off and did everything he could for his son. He died after a few weeks of fighting to live. I will never forget him though. When I first heard I didn't know what to feel or what to say I just knew I should pray and he would get better and everything would be okay. I kinda forgot after a week because it really didn't resonate in my head how devastating it really is. After two weeks my uncle called and he didn't sound sad at all so I thought everything was going great now. It wasn't. He told me he is struggling, but to remain hopeful and we'll get through this. He told me his name was Rosbel Gabriel. That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Rosbel is my uncle name and it some how finally put everything into perspective. That night I began to pray that he get better and it all overwhelmed me. I couldn't imagine how hard this must all be on my uncle. it wasn't fair. I prayed that god take my life and give it to the baby. I have had 18 good enough years. He deserved this life more than I did. I prayed for hours realizing how beautiful life really is and how even in a terrible circumstance such as this it is not worth wasting or taking for granted. My baby cousin died on May 7. I really broke down after that, but I'm better now. I hope one day I can at least see a picture of him. I tell you this because I know you're struggling, but open your eyes. You're not the only one. Life is beautiful. Enjoy it while you can, however you can. And keep praying it will fix you inside. It has a magical way of doing so I think. |
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I've had bells palsy twice already. Once when I was in high school and my dad, our sole supporter, lost his job. It took me months to fully recover. A couple of years later I broke my arm and dislocated my shoulder. When the bills started to come, I was once again overwhelmed by stress and developed bells palsy again. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Heck I don't even know when it starts. I just wake up one morning and BANG. It's there :(
I need this DREAM Act so bad. For my sanity! |
Re: Mental health testimonies
What keeps me from doing the untinkable? My nieces. I wanna watch them grow. They give me joy. Of course. They're also a reminder that my life is at a stand still :(
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