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-   -   DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions (http://dreamact.info/forum/showthread.php?t=78570)

lucky 09-19-2017 05:37 PM
DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
After CIYJAs actions, several of us decided that our voice needed to be heard. Below is a letter that we have put together and hope to send this out to senators, representatives and media.


To our Senators, Representatives, and the media,

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “Clean DREAM Act or nothing” which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us, but we must channel that energy to get support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the many flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of our undocumented population.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will not be able to come here unlawfully, while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive impact in American society. DACA does not offer welfare, freebies or a path to citizenship.

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in Congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart manner. We understand the amount of suffering that cartel border crime creates in both the United States and Mexico. To be clear, we support border security and not interior enforcement. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute to this amazing society.


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.

Please leave feedback and any suggestions regarding edits that need to be made. We need as much input as possible

Gnome 09-19-2017 05:39 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Bravo. Love seeing these initiatives showcasing our views straight from DAP. ������

magdation1 09-19-2017 05:53 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
I love this! Also not sure if you guys have heard of David Dobrik, but he's one of the most famous Dreamers currently out there, he might be able to help us spread the word.

https://twitter.com/DavidDobrik

magdation1 09-19-2017 05:55 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Also, we can try to contact many of the online publications like Huffpost, Mother jones, Politco, maybe even the NYTimes as an opEd article if you guys agree.

zara12 09-19-2017 06:35 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Love this! Thank you for doing this.

Could we post this on DAP's landing page: dreamact.info and also add a link to it on our twitter account?

AJinCT 09-19-2017 07:48 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
This is great idea. I think we should change two things tho...

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky (Post 641712)
This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. These are tactics that MOST Dreamers strongly condemn.
Instead of saying that most dreamers don't agree with them, I think we should make it clear that the protesters don't represent Dreamers and we don't condone their tactics:

We strongly condemn these tacticts and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky (Post 641712)
We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful of our allies and our enemies. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and Border Security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.
I don't think it's smart to label anyone as enemies when we are trying to garner support. It will look better if we remove it:

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful of our allies and our enemies.

isk84life 09-19-2017 08:34 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJinCT (Post 641768)
This is great idea. I think we should change two things tho...



Instead of saying that most dreamers don't agree with them, I think we should make it clear that the protesters don't represent Dreamers and we don't condone their tactics:

We strongly condemn these tacticts and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.



I don't think it's smart to label anyone as enemies when we are trying to garner support. It will look better if we remove it:

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful of our allies and our enemies.
Thank you for the suggestions. I will definitely edit the letter when I get home. Please keep the edits and suggestions coming.

lucky 09-19-2017 08:43 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by isk84life (Post 641782)
Thank you for the suggestions. I will definitely edit the letter when I get home. Please keep the edits and suggestions coming.
I updated the post with the suggestions AJinCT mentioned.

Thank you guys for all the suggestions and feel free to add more!

EDIT: As magdation1 and zara12 mentioned, once we have an ideal final version of the letter we can start sharing!

zara12 09-19-2017 08:47 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better.

No "i"

Thanks :)

lucky 09-19-2017 08:51 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zara12 (Post 641788)
Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better.

No "i"

Thanks :)
Fixed!

ceaguila 09-19-2017 08:59 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Who do we sent this to?

zara12 09-19-2017 09:16 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
I also believe the "C' in Congress should be in caps each time.....and border security in lower case each time.

Again, I think we should say emphasize we want a bipartisan deal...and not say we are open to compromise or necessarily "want" border security.

Edits:

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and fully secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2,000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. We understand the amount of suffering that cartel border crime creates in both the United States and Mexico.

To be clear, we support Border Security and not Interior Enforcement. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses (or evidence of?) of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and Border Security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to keep contributing to this amazing society. (perhaps say continue to contribute?)

isk84life 09-19-2017 09:26 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zara12 (Post 641794)
I also believe the "C' in Congress should be in caps each time.....and border security in lower case each time.

Again, I think we should say emphasize we want a bipartisan deal...and not say we are open to compromise or necessarily "want" border security.

Edits:

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and fully secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2,000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. We understand the amount of suffering that cartel border crime creates in both the United States and Mexico.

To be clear, we support Border Security and not Interior Enforcement. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses (or evidence of?) of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and Border Security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to keep contributing to this amazing society. (perhaps say continue to contribute?)
Great edits, thank you. I'm not sure about the evidence one tho.

We need to hurry up or we will lose momentum. Edits will be closed at 9pm pacific time. Please make sure other members read the letter so as to assume they are in accordance of what was laid pout in it.

zara12 09-19-2017 09:30 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
No worries. Yeah in retrospect I guess "evidence" comes off as too strong/entitled.

These are our suggestions. Will leave it to you tondecide what to incorporate

isk84life 09-19-2017 09:30 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ceaguila (Post 641790)
Who do we sent this to?
Currently putting together a list of media outlets.

Swim19 09-19-2017 10:00 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and fully secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. We understand the amount of suffering that cartel border crime creates in both the United States and Mexico.

To be clear, we support Border Security and not Interior Enforcement. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.
I personally think this whole section needs to be rewritten. We don't know what the DREAM Act - Border Security bill will be. We don't know specifics. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I think you should focus more on the idea of a compromise rather than the specifics of what we agree or disagree with. I don't have time tonight to work on how I would write it, and this is my opinion (so if most people here like it that way that's fine too). I don't think this section gets the message across in the best way. I think another day of editing this will make it stronger.

magdation1 09-19-2017 10:48 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by isk84life (Post 641799)
Currently putting together a list of media outlets.
Huffington Post needs to be included -- Ideally, as a response to them publishing the pathetic excuse of CIYJA crashing Pelosi's Press Conference.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/...ushpmg00000004

isk84life 09-19-2017 11:13 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swim19 (Post 641811)
I personally think this whole section needs to be rewritten. We don't know what the DREAM Act - Border Security bill will be. We don't know specifics. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I think you should focus more on the idea of a compromise rather than the specifics of what we agree or disagree with. I don't have time tonight to work on how I would write it, and this is my opinion (so if most people here like it that way that's fine too). I don't think this section gets the message across in the best way. I think another day of editing this will make it stronger.
We are literally paraphrasing what the Democratic Party has been saying.

" Schumer added on Tuesday that he is "very optimistic" that Democrats will still be able to get a "good deal" on a DACA fix paired with border security."

StillDreamingNb87 09-20-2017 08:00 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swim19 (Post 641811)
I personally think this whole section needs to be rewritten. We don't know what the DREAM Act - Border Security bill will be. We don't know specifics. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I think you should focus more on the idea of a compromise rather than the specifics of what we agree or disagree with. I don't have time tonight to work on how I would write it, and this is my opinion (so if most people here like it that way that's fine too). I don't think this section gets the message across in the best way. I think another day of editing this will make it stronger.
Agreed as well.

Also, if we are keeping it as it is, there is an error mistake here

"To be clear, we support border security AND BUT not interior enforcement. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community. "

With that said, I do support interior enforcement.. I do support deportation of criminals and low lifes, but not of producing members of society.

Swim19 09-20-2017 08:17 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by isk84life (Post 641831)
We are literally paraphrasing what the Democratic Party has been saying.

" Schumer added on Tuesday that he is "very optimistic" that Democrats will still be able to get a "good deal" on a DACA fix paired with border security."
I think it's too wordy, but again it is only my opinion. This is my quick edit before work and the way I would condense two of the paragraphs:

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and fully secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

And I would delete the entire paragraph below:

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.

fl_dreamer 09-20-2017 09:59 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
I do agree that it is too wordy. You loose audience without time or attention span when articles are too long. Lets not talk out the border security vs. wall stuff. Let Congress figure out the details.

Keep it basic containing the following main points: 1) Please protect us as part of a bipartisian bill. 2) Do it sooner than later so people don't expire and loose jobs. 3) Chants like "All of us or None of us" do not represent the majority. 4) We are greatful, thankful (throw in some more adjectives) to show that we are not taking this for granted and recognize that we are not entitled to shit.

fl_dreamer 09-20-2017 10:01 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swim19 (Post 641856)

And I would delete the entire paragraph below:

DACA recipients and immigrant youth are witnesses of the hard work and sacrifices that our parents have made. However, we are not sellouts by endorsing border security, nor are we advocating for anyone in the immigrant community to be deported. We believe that we will be in a much better position to help our parents if we obtain legal status and eventual citizenship.
Agree! Lets not even suggest that we are going to help/sponsor our parents and relatives.

Swim19 09-20-2017 10:29 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fl_dreamer (Post 641865)
Agree! Lets not even suggest that we are going to help/sponsor our parents and relatives.
Yes, exactly my point. This sounds like the 'chain migration' the anti-immigrant groups keep pointing out. Let's not put that in a letter to the media.

zara12 09-20-2017 10:44 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fl_dreamer (Post 641864)
I do agree that it is too wordy. You loose audience without time or attention span when articles are too long. Lets not talk out the border security vs. wall stuff. Let Congress figure out the details.

Keep it basic containing the following main points: 1) Please protect us as part of a bipartisian bill. 2) Do it sooner than later so people don't expire and loose jobs. 3) Chants like "All of us or None of us" do not represent the majority. 4) We are greatful, thankful (throw in some more adjectives) to show that we are not taking this for granted and recognize that we are not entitled to shit.
I agree with ^ and Swim19's suggestions. Exactly my thoughts but I couldn't put my finger on exactly how to change it. Please keep it concise and short and not lose the audience.

Great suggestions guys!

Appreciate you doing this, Lucky.

lucky 09-20-2017 11:13 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Thank you for all the great suggestion guys. It's great to see the collaboration within the forum. I am currently at work and won't have the chance to make the edits to the opening post until later. If someone wants they can always add the edits, post the revised letter and then I can update the opening post.

I know that isk84life mentioned a 9PM deadline yesterday for edits but we did get a decent amount of feedback overnight. Ideally we want to finalize this as soon as possible (tonight?).

Also please inform other members who are currently not aware of this if you can!

zara12 09-20-2017 11:34 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Since it's Wednesday, I personally think we can wait till the weekend and finalize then. Just to allow everyone sufficient time to review and provide suggestions.

We can then share with news orgs/others Sunday evening or first thing Monday morning. Based on my knowledge, that is when most high -impact news and info is released. Just my thoughts.

isk84life 09-20-2017 07:57 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Sure, let's wait.

Swim19 09-20-2017 08:51 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky (Post 641883)
Thank you for all the great suggestion guys. It's great to see the collaboration within the forum. I am currently at work and won't have the chance to make the edits to the opening post until later. If someone wants they can always add the edits, post the revised letter and then I can update the opening post.

I know that isk84life mentioned a 9PM deadline yesterday for edits but we did get a decent amount of feedback overnight. Ideally we want to finalize this as soon as possible (tonight?).

Also please inform other members who are currently not aware of this if you can!
Revised letter based on my suggestions. Everyone continue to offer suggestions, edits, etc. I bolded a few additional parts that I think should be reworded:

To our Senators, Representatives, and the media,

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “Clean DREAM Act or nothing” which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us, but we must channel that energy to get support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the many flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of our undocumented population.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will not be able to come here unlawfully, while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive impact in American society (instead of society maybe we should use the word economy?). DACA recipients are not eligible for food stamps, Medicare, federal financial aid or other federal benefits.

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. (this sentence sounds awkward when read...) We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute to this amazing society. (not sure if 'amazing society is best choice of words?)


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.

kyungwc 09-20-2017 11:42 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swim19 (Post 642035)
Revised letter based on my suggestions. Everyone continue to offer suggestions, edits, etc. I bolded a few additional parts that I think should be reworded:

To our Senators, Representatives, and the media,

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “Clean DREAM Act or nothing” which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us, but we must channel that energy to get support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the many flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of our undocumented population.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will not be able to come here unlawfully, while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive impact in American society (instead of society maybe we should use the word economy?). DACA recipients are not eligible for food stamps, Medicare, federal financial aid or other federal benefits.

At the moment, we don’t know the details in the border security package about to be introduced in congress. However, we strongly support legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. (this sentence sounds awkward when read...) We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute to this amazing society. (not sure if 'amazing society is best choice of words?)


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.
If using the term "economy", would adding that we pay taxes help? Since the letter does state that we do not receive thing such like financial aid.

Another possibility: ("In addition to the $495 renewal fee dreamers pay every 2 years")

Dreamtime 09-21-2017 01:02 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Don't you guys think that we will lose the momentum if we wait until next week?

I personally don't think we should wait any longer. They may even do another "circus performance" this weekend (as one of their members tweeted earlier). Plus the media is barely talking about it anymore.

I really like the letter and the corrections made. I think we should finish it up and start sending it out asap. Just my thoughts

fl_dreamer 09-21-2017 09:43 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
I am at work but can someone work on the paragraph structure. There are too many paragraphs.

Ideally, it should be your intro, your main body, and conclusion. 3 -4 paragraphs max!

Let's keep it short and simple. We don't need too many words to get the message across.

isk84life 09-21-2017 10:46 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fl_dreamer (Post 642100)
I am at work but can someone work on the paragraph structure. There are too many paragraphs.

Ideally, it should be your intro, your main body, and conclusion. 3 -4 paragraphs max!

Let's keep it short and simple. We don't need too many words to get the message across.
This is for articles. You have to keep it small for easier reading. We are not writing an essay. We need to hurry up and send this. These people are a real threat.

fl_dreamer 09-21-2017 10:53 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
I still think it is way too long but if people agree, let's send it off.

BestBefore1984 09-21-2017 01:19 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
remove "many" from:

the many flaws in our immigration system

to

the flaws in our immigration system

isk84life 09-21-2017 01:43 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Keep the edits coming, ill be editing this thing a little more tonight. Sorry I have been slow, my right hand is broken so it takes me forever to type.

zara12 09-21-2017 03:12 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
The length seems okay to me since it's a letter/memo, not an essay.

We can send it out as soon as you guys think. I agree it's risky to wait but also want us to agree on the letter and its contents since it's our one chance to speak up and share our message.

Just my suggestions. If you don't agree, it's absolutely fine. You did a great job with it!

Revised letter (Swim19's version):

My suggestions in bold. Sentences to modify/delete in italics.

To our Senators, Representatives, and the media, (should we add "and the American public"?)

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We (Dreamers?) strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “legalization for ALL," "Clean DREAM Act or nothing" which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us ("American communities") , but we must channel that energy to get (or "garner additional")support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the (cross out "many") flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of the entire undocumented population at the same time.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle ("not ideal for tackling"? This may need to be reworded to copy sentence structure below) everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past (because of a lack of trust between the two parties?) because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party ("are against legalizing the undocumented population"?) will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will ("enter lawfully") not be able to come here unlawfully , while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive ("impact on the American economy.") impact in American society. [/b]DACA recipients are not eligible for food stamps, Medicare, federal financial aid or other federal benefits. (Maybe also add a sentence about DACA allowing us to contribute/give back to our communities)

At the moment, we don’t know the details ("of the border security package") in the border security package about to be introduced in Congress. However, we strongly support sensible, bipartisan legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. (this sentence is not necessary) We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers ( Lets say "We") are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute (contributing) to this amazing society. ("great nation")

(I wanted to add a sentence somewhere at the end. Perhaps add a little more to the last paragraph above. Something to the effect of "And we have faith that one day America will find a way to accept and embrace us." I like how she ends in thearticle here although I don't want to plagiarize. )


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.

isk84life 09-22-2017 12:21 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zara12 (Post 642275)
The length seems okay to me since it's a letter/memo, not an essay.

We can send it out as soon as you guys think. I agree it's risky to wait but also want us to agree on the letter and its contents since it's our one chance to speak up and share our message.

Just my suggestions. If you don't agree, it's absolutely fine. You did a great job with it!

Revised letter (Swim19's version):

My suggestions in bold. Sentences to modify/delete in italics.

To our Senators, Representatives, and the media, (should we add "and the American public"?)

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We (Dreamers?) strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “legalization for ALL," "Clean DREAM Act or nothing" which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us ("American communities") , but we must channel that energy to get (or "garner additional")support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the (cross out "many") flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of the entire undocumented population at the same time.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle ("not ideal for tackling"? This may need to be reworded to copy sentence structure below) everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past (because of a lack of trust between the two parties?) because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party ("are against legalizing the undocumented population"?) will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will ("enter lawfully") not be able to come here unlawfully , while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive ("impact on the American economy.") impact in American society. [/b]DACA recipients are not eligible for food stamps, Medicare, federal financial aid or other federal benefits. (Maybe also add a sentence about DACA allowing us to contribute/give back to our communities)

At the moment, we don’t know the details ("of the border security package") in the border security package about to be introduced in Congress. However, we strongly support sensible, bipartisan legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. (this sentence is not necessary) We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers ( Lets say "We") are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute (contributing) to this amazing society. ("great nation")

(I wanted to add a sentence somewhere at the end. Perhaps add a little more to the last paragraph above. Something to the effect of "And we have faith that one day America will find a way to accept and embrace us." I like how she ends in thearticle here although I don't want to plagiarize. )


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.
Thank you for the edits but that "all or nothing" paragraph looks plagiarized from what Pelosi said xD

zara12 09-22-2017 12:35 AM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
That's really funny. She and I seem to be on the same page.

Believe it or not - I didn't read/hear all of what she said :D

You can nix what I wrote if that's the case!

cooltalker 09-26-2017 03:16 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
did anyone submit this?

isk84life 09-28-2017 01:45 PM
Re: DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions
 
We havent submitted this yet. We should wait to see what Dems come up with in regards to border security.


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