Guys, keep in mind that this is just what the bill looks like for now. By the time they're done with it, it will look more altered than Janice Dickinson's taint.

The reason Congressman Gutierrez crafted such a liberal bill is so that he has lots of leeway when it comes time for bargaining. The final version will NOT look like this since they'll probably be forced to add an amendment requiring us to pole dance to Hava Nagila (in 10-inch platforms) in order to get Lieberman's vote.

Now everyone take a deep breath.