What I hate is that I've realized it was mostly my fault, but there's nothing I can do now. It's too late!! I feel like he feels resentment towards me. But if I keep regretting what I did or didn't do I'm just gonna go crazy!! We can't be together right now. Otherwise we will hate each other soon.

If I could only get approved soon, or just get approved at some point I would have something to hold on to...But I feel bad when I start thinking about how this is all over and that I might not get approved, I feel like I'm drowning...