Originally Posted by Catcherenme

It feels like every time I might take steps forward, something happens and knocks me back. I took up running before Christmas and was loving it...but after 4 weeks I developed a stress fracture in my ankle. Now have 6 weeks in a moon boot.

I'm so tired of life at times and then I get guilty because I fail as a partner, son, brother, make mistakes at work...last night I even said something in a social setting that I knew was wrong as soon as I said it. I still feel embarrassed. But it's also because I'm so tired after the past year, like everyone dealing with covid and related stuff...feeling like you have to carry so much.

And to be honest, I don't care about mistakes, we all make them and we just apologize and make amends where needed...but I just wish that people around me would see through some of this and see that I am tired and I need care (even if it's 'tough love' to pull my head in on something).

But I often just feel alone with my stewing and thoughts. I share them at times but except for my psych, I don't feel like anyone gets them.

I am now starting to fear that I'll eventually give up and kind of do life functionally...in some ways I kind of want that, to escape my emotions and just say "stuff it" and not care.

Not sure what I want. I guess I'd just like to feel like life has some structure to it. To feel as though I have some control. To believe that I am truly loved by family and friends.