I want the Texas judge to kill the fucking thing. You’re welcome to seethe and cope all you want in the replies, but any of the 500 times during the average day that my mind drifts towards DACA, I can’t help but wish that this thing gets absolutely trashed by the courts.

These last few months have been worse than anything during the Trump admin, for some reason. If you ask me, I think that it’s the realization deep down that things have played out and that there’s nowhere to go from here. During Trump’s first few months, the thought of him ending DACA worried me, but I was galvanized by the backlash and support from everyone, from the public to private friends and close ones. And you are going to laugh at this, but late 2017-early 2018 were the most hope-filled days of my life in this country, as the chips were down and even Orange Man seemed like he wanted to help us. Now, if we are left stuck in limbo and nothing is done for us under Biden, the people who typically support us won’t make much of a fuss, because Biden is a Democrat and is the opposite of conservatism and Republicans to these people, so they won’t risk harshly criticizing him for a mere 600,000 people who can’t even vote.

Moreover, the thought of having everything ripped away from me and being told to GTFO is sweet compared to growing old in uncertainty, or living in the shadows. As much as I want to believe that a bill legalizing us is going to scrape by both chambers, I know that this is a pipe dream. Good things like that are a thing of the past. So then it’s a matter of seeing the two alternatives: abandon everything you’ve built upon for 20 years, or continue to live a life where you see everyone around you grow and enjoy all of the benefits this great country has to offer, all while your youth slips away and people wonder why you didn’t live to the potential you appeared to have.

These days, I want it to be over, one way or another.