Bro/brodette, these are exhaustive times for everybody and especially us dreamers. The roller coaster ride of the last 4 years had me on a verge of a complete breakdown with the constant crackdown on immigrants and then having to deal with banking issues and their anti-immigrant policies and this was before COVID. Now I'm dealing with very serious health issues of a parent constantly going to doctor's appointments (many of which require yet another COVID test) and having to come to terms that I may lose them a lot sooner than I'm ready for and I still have the whole immigration monkey on my back while I'm dealing with all that....but that's life.

My suggestion is to get yourself a bike. Because of the lockdowns, I started riding my bike a lot more and even though it's a heavier bike not really meant for long distances (hardtail mountain bike), I put on some road friendly tires on that, put a rack on the back, got some handlebar ends, and on weekends, I just pack up the water and snacks and just find a bike trail and just ride. I started out going 10 miles which turned to 20 miles and now I do 40+ miles where for 4 hours, it's just me, my thoughts, and the Beastie Boys on my speaker (don't wear headphones..). It doesn't matter if it's 95 degrees and sunny or a Chilly 50 degrees (for me it's chilly), I get on the trails. It will do wonders for your soul.

When it's raining or really cold out, I take the damn bike a part and grease and pack and bearings or clean and lube the chain or adjust the derealiuer...it's calming and again leaves me alone with my thoughts. Nothing else matters when you're riding your bike. Plus you get fresh air, great exercise, and meet a lot of people. Sometimes you hit a bump or don't see a pothole and break your ass but again, that's life.