Trump's immigration plan: Deport the undocumented, 'legal status' for some - Page 4

No shit, right?

"Hey what's up, girl? I'm an illegal immigrant. You wanna go out? Maybe get married in the future?"

Seriously.

Totally agree with you. I feel the exact same way. I just can't bring myself to go down that road. I would always feel guilty, like i'm using someone else to fix my problems.

But how does that process even start?

Say i go out to the bar tonight, or whatever, and meet some girl. We hit it off and go out a few more times, etc. At what point do i tell her about my status? When is the right time? If i wait until we are in love, it's going to inevitably look like i did it just so i could get papers through her. If i tell her right away, then she's likely going to peace out.

Where do you guys meet all these girls that are willing to give out green cards so easily?! lol

Maybe the easiest way is to give a female friend (or guy friend too, now that gay marriage is legal) some kind of powerful incentive like say, pay their rent for 5 years straight or however long it takes for the conditional basis of marriage to be removed by USCIS, and then just do a contract where if they try to back out then you take them down with you, lol.

I know this sound super crazy, but i bet you that shit happens on a daily basis at USCIS offices. Some person just pays a USC some chunk of money to get a GC through them.

I do not condone fraud, but how is that different than saying "well, better start finding someone to marry!"?

The right time? I'd say a good 6 months into the relationship. The time where you'll start making jokes about having kids and stuff like that is about the point where you should start writing your "I have a dream (act)" speech.

You want to get deported and banned for life for fraud be my guest.

Not to swerve into a whole other topic, but if you got game, it doesn't matter. I was with my ex for about a under a year before I told her, and she didn't mind. In her mind at the time, she felt I was the guy she was gonna marry. We stayed together for 4 more years after, and if things would've worked out between, us, we probably would have gone that route already. Because I wasn't able to work at that time, it made things difficult, and her own family pressure to find a more capable man who can take care of her for the rest of her life made things more difficult. Eventually we fell out of love, but we're still good friends to this day.

I have another friend who is in the same boat as us, and he told his gf at the time about his status. She didn't care, and they stayed together for 5 more years until he broke it off with her after it didn't work out.

All I'm saying is, yea sure we didn't work out, but we stayed together for a long time after we gave them the heads up. I'm sure if we had DACA earlier, and I was making decent money, I would've already proved I'm capable since the handicap was lifted in a sense. I mean I've read other members hear in the job threads in the Lounge forum and some of you guys are making bank, if not super decent money. You just gotta get over the fear of telling them. If they're a decent person, and if they love you or truly care, they wouldn't mind. Hell some crazy obsessive people might even use that as a hostage tactic so you won't leave them in exchange for getting you a GC, tying YOU down for marriage because you're such a great guy/gal. You never know until you play the game. So don't be afraid. Worse that can happen is you guys don't work out. So don't be afraid!

I guess i'm looking at it from a whole different angle. I have no problem finding girls that want to date me and all of that, at all. My problem is that i feel like i would be somewhat trying to trick a girl into being in love with me just so that i can fix my status. You guys don't feel that way even a little bit?

Hell, my ex-gf offered to help me even AFTER we were already broken up, had been in love, and all of that business.

I'd like to think i'm a pretty decent looking guy, good personality, job, etc. I have never had a problem approaching girls, dating them, sleeping with them, making them fall in love with me, etc. But It's not a matter of whether you have game or not. It's more a matter of whether you can live with it or not. I personally can't bring myself to drag someone else into my own problems, regardless of whether i'm in love with the person or not. Maybe i have too much pride, but whatever. I have been that way my whole life with every problem i've come across with.

It's like we're screwed either way. You either tell a girl right away about your status, and she will probably run off. But how could you blame them? And if you wait for a while before you tell them, then it looks like you're only in it for the GC.

Call me stupid or whatever you want, but i want to be able to fix this problem all on my own and not drag it into a relationship. Even if the chances don't look so good for doing it on our own.

I dated a girl for about a year and didn't tell her until towards the end of the relationship, when she started getting far too suspicious about many things regarding my status. While we had other problems too that contributed to our breakup; when i finally told her and randomly showed her that article that Jose Antonio Vargas did for the NY Times 'cause i had just come across it myself, she was amazed at how well she completely understood the situation and why i did the things that i did or kept things from her the way that i did.

I never wanted to lie to her, but i had to. And while there's some truth to the fact that someone will love you no matter what, there is still some sort of resentment from keeping something so big from someone else. I guess i'd rather be honest from the beginning if it's someone i truly want to engage with and care about.

And again, i do not condone fraud. I was just making a joke more or less. Although it's happening more than you probably think.

That's the thing with our situation though, all it takes is one person to be willing to help. Sometimes you just have to put down your pride. I mean it's no different than just getting married. If you find the right girl or guy, I don't understand why you would feel like you are tricking her if you were upfront about it, AND she was willing to help, AND the fact that you guys were gonna get married regardless even if you were of legal status. If you have no problems dating girls and sleeping with them, chances are game isn't your problem. You just gotta get over that fear and "guilt". You told your ex, and she didn't feel she was tricked, she even wanted to help after the breakup, so this guilt is mostly just in your own head.

This about it this way. If you guys would've married if you were of legal status, you're potentially ruining her happiness as well of ending up in a happy life with you because of your own pride of not wanting to get the GC through marriage. Whether you like it or not, we can't technically get a GC without any outside help. Either the government help us through passing a legislation, which can happen in god knows when, or you end up with a company who hires you and willing to sponsor you for a GC, or you end up with a girl who likes you enough to help you out with a GC through marriage. At least the last two options is in your control more or less.

I don't condone fraud as well, but where is the fraud if you genuinely like the girl regardless of GC, and vice versa. If you have no feelings and just pretending to like her for sake of GC, then yea. But again, if you guys were planning to marry if you were legal, I don't see how the added difference in you not having a GC would change that.

You guys can do what you want. I've seen my share of Fresh Off the Boaters pay off a stripper to marry. Sometimes it works sometimes it blows up in their face and they wish they were back home with their mommies. I've also seen "smooth" guys use another human being and then dump them when they get what they wanted. Then again I've seen true love as well- though honestly, I'm sure the green card thing over their heads might have sped up the process.