DREAM Act Letter in Response to CIYJA actions - Page 4

I am at work but can someone work on the paragraph structure. There are too many paragraphs.

Ideally, it should be your intro, your main body, and conclusion. 3 -4 paragraphs max!

Let's keep it short and simple. We don't need too many words to get the message across.

This is for articles. You have to keep it small for easier reading. We are not writing an essay. We need to hurry up and send this. These people are a real threat.

I still think it is way too long but if people agree, let's send it off.

remove "many" from:

the many flaws in our immigration system

to

the flaws in our immigration system

Keep the edits coming, ill be editing this thing a little more tonight. Sorry I have been slow, my right hand is broken so it takes me forever to type.

The length seems okay to me since it's a letter/memo, not an essay.

We can send it out as soon as you guys think. I agree it's risky to wait but also want us to agree on the letter and its contents since it's our one chance to speak up and share our message.

Just my suggestions. If you don't agree, it's absolutely fine. You did a great job with it!

Revised letter (Swim19's version):

My suggestions in bold. Sentences to modify/delete in italics.

To our Senators, Representatives, and the media, (should we add "and the American public"?)

This is a response to the events that took place on September 18, 2017 in San Francisco, CA. where a group of activists interrupted Congresswoman Pelosi’s Press Conference regarding DACA. We (Dreamers?) strongly condemn these tactics and they do not represent the Dreamer movement.

Congresswoman Pelosi is one of the many US Senators and Congressmen that are fighting for a permanent solution to the Dreamer dilemma, the DREAM Act.

Several activist groups have taken a position of “11 million or nothing” or “legalization for ALL," "Clean DREAM Act or nothing" which quite frankly is shortsighted and naïve. We understand the anger, uncertainty and fear that the cancellation of DACA has sparked within us ("American communities") , but we must channel that energy to get (or "garner additional")support, not interrupt or yell nonsense at our allies.

In a perfect world, Congress would come together and pass comprehensive immigration reform that would overhaul the (cross out "many") flaws in our immigration system and fix the status of the entire undocumented population at the same time.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is not ideal to tackle ("not ideal for tackling"? This may need to be reworded to copy sentence structure below) everything at once. Comprehensive immigration reform proposals have failed in the past (because of a lack of trust between the two parties?) because both parties don’t trust each other. Many in the Republicans Party ("are against legalizing the undocumented population"?) will not allow any legalization. They believe our unsecured border does not guarantee that people will ("enter lawfully") not be able to come here unlawfully , while many in the Democratic Party will not sign off on anything that creates a deportation force.

Standalone options to help Dreamers have not fared any better. The failure to pass the original DREAM Act 16 years ago and most recent bills can be attributed to the same stalemate. President Obama saw the situation as an opportunity to institute DACA, give the Dreamers hope and force politicians to do something in the future. That future is now.

DACA currently covers 800,000 young Dreamers. The program has provided us with the opportunity to obtain jobs, attend school and to pursue careers that have a positive ("impact on the American economy.") impact in American society. [/b]DACA recipients are not eligible for food stamps, Medicare, federal financial aid or other federal benefits. (Maybe also add a sentence about DACA allowing us to contribute/give back to our communities)

At the moment, we don’t know the details ("of the border security package") in the border security package about to be introduced in Congress. However, we strongly support sensible, bipartisan legislation that offers the Dream Act and secures the border in a smart way. Not with a useless 2000 mile concrete wall, but with a mix of technology and manpower. (this sentence is not necessary) We do not support a deportation force that will rip apart our families and will create suffering in the immigrant community.

We strongly encourage other dreamer groups to be respectful. We are now standing in front of the greatest opportunity to kick start immigration reform in three decades. A Dream Act and border security deal is without a doubt a small but smart step to break the immigration reform stalemate.

Dreamers ( Lets say "We") are extremely thankful for the opportunities that this beautiful country has given us. We look forward to continue to contribute (contributing) to this amazing society. ("great nation")

(I wanted to add a sentence somewhere at the end. Perhaps add a little more to the last paragraph above. Something to the effect of "And we have faith that one day America will find a way to accept and embrace us." I like how she ends in thearticle here although I don't want to plagiarize. )


God bless the United States of America,

- The Dreamers

The Dream Act Portal currently has 82,180 members throughout the United States.

Thank you for the edits but that "all or nothing" paragraph looks plagiarized from what Pelosi said xD

That's really funny. She and I seem to be on the same page.

Believe it or not - I didn't read/hear all of what she said

You can nix what I wrote if that's the case!

did anyone submit this?

We havent submitted this yet. We should wait to see what Dems come up with in regards to border security.