If I offended demanding DREAMers, I'm not sorry

Ianus · 12-28-2012, 03:23 PM

He's back.....that being the opinionated Ruben.

Quote:

San Diego (CNN) -- Even for someone who has written more than 2,000 columns over the last 20 years, sometimes the words come out wrong.

All I know is that my wife is angry.

"You need to fix this!" she says, as she holds up her smartphone.

On the screen is a copy of my latest column for CNN.com scolding a faction of the DREAMers, the undocumented youth angling for legal status, for what I -- and judging from the response, quite a few other Americans -- see as a sense of entitlement.

"I hated this column," she said. "I know what you were trying to say, because I know you. But other people won't understand it. They're confused and angry, and they should be. I get your point. You're saying that these kids have become entitled and self-important like other kids and they're going to blow it for everyone else -- including their undocumented parents. But that's not what you walk away from this column with. What you walk way with is meanness. And that's not you."

Bah humbug. Sometimes, it is me. As I often tell audiences that gather for my speeches, constantly cheerful and positive writers work for Hallmark.

And yet, I notice that many of my critics on the left who think the tone of the DREAMer piece was harsh didn't object when, in the past, I lashed out in a similar tone against those on the right.

When voters turned out Arizona State Sen. Russell Pearce, the major sponsor of that state's dreadful immigration law, I wrote that "evil has left the building." When Mitt Romney was overheard telling donors that he'd have a better shot at winning the presidential election if he were Latino, I mocked the Republican candidate for "playing the victim" because he had the "misfortune to be born a white male." In another column, after Romney blamed his defeat on minorities who were hungry for giveaways, I called him a "loser." And, when writing about the intersection of immigration and politics, I have had no trouble saying that the GOP brand is toxic to Latinos because the party has chosen to "pander to racists and nativists."

Every time, conservatives were upset, but -- on Facebook and other social media -- liberals applauded. Could it be that what really troubles people isn't the tone of a particular column but who is being skewered?

Still, as a Mexican immigrant herself, my wife has a point. And so do many of my critics.

In the offending column, I was not trying to describe the individual lives of the estimated 1.4 million undocumented high school and college students in the United States. Everyone is different. I was talking about a movement, a political strategy that involves DREAMers demanding what they see as their "rights" and, in the process, succumbing to a radicalism that is counterproductive and threatens to torpedo immigration reform for millions of others.

Like the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than ... by donning a cap and gown and occupying the office of a member of Congress until you're arrested. Or something like that.

But people didn't hear that message. They drew upon their own frame of reference and, thinking back to DREAMers they know, declared that they were swell folks who were humble and idealistic and didn't feel entitled. So, they said, I must be wrong.

Ironically, some of those who reacted angrily to the column wound up making its point.

One reader, who identified himself as a DREAMer who has lived in the United States for 11 years, insisted that he and his cohort weren't making demands. Then he added: "Speaking for myself ... at this point I am done asking. I demand to be fully incorporated into this society."

Now there's a lack of self-awareness.

Yet, that's also a good trait for columnists, who can always say things better and clearer. So let's try this again. For those undocumented youth who think that America owes them a fulfillment of their dreams, or who -- like the reader -- demand to be fully "incorporated into this society," that first column was for you. And the scolding fits.

But for the rest of you who work hard and obey the law and keep your head down and just want to find a way to live legally in a country you consider your own and where you've lived most of your life, let me first apologize for lumping you together with the demanders. Then let me give you some friendly advice:

-- Think critically. It's not enough to have beliefs. You have to constantly challenge yourselves so you know why you believe it, and can defend it. Because someday, you'll have to do so;

-- Privileges are not rights, and so they are earned and not granted by our creator. If Congress gives you the privilege of legal status, you need to decide what you're prepared to give in return. You need a plan, and a demand is not a plan;

-- Focus on deeds not words, and admit that neither political party has been courageous or honest on immigration. So don't feel beholden to either. Power comes from exercising options. Shop around;

(Last week, the Obama administration released figures showing that Immigration and Customs Enforcement broke its own record for total number of deportations. The agency removed 409,849 illegal immigrants in the 2012 fiscal year, compared to 396,906 in the 2011 fiscal year and 392,000 in the 2010 fiscal year. As most DREAMers would agree, those numbers are nothing to be proud of, especially since they appear to be driven by politics.)

-- Challenge your friends with the same amount of enthusiasm that you challenge your foes. After all, in the world of politics and beyond, those you support owe you something for standing by them. Make sure you collect; and

-- Accept that, while it's true that you did nothing wrong when you were brought here as a child, someone along the line, someone in your family tree broke a law. They crossed a border without permission, or overstayed a visa. Deal with it. Before we can legalize your status, you have to accept the wrong that was done and someone has to make amends for it -- if not you, then the person who broke the rules.

Above all, always try to be better people who strive for fairness, listen to different points of view, and take responsibility for your words and deeds. And I'll do the same.

Pianoswithoutfaith · 07:19 PM

hard to believe his wife is a Mexican immigrant yet shes okay with him

the way I see it he probably fixed her status

msaccountant · 12-28-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoswithoutfaith

hard to believe her wife is a Mexican immigrant yet shes okay with him

the way I see it he probably fixed her status

Lol I don't know their situation but I do know of many people that are against CIR/DA yet they themselves broke the law only now they are USC's because they got married to one.

Anyways, to this Ruben guy all I have to say is in a way he's got a point. D:

Why? We have been raised/grown up in this country where the majority doesn't settle. If they don't like something well they try to change it because it's possible unlike in so many other countries. Is that our fault? No, I actually thought we're suppose to assimilate.

Now about this last part:

Quote:

Accept that, while it's true that you did nothing wrong when you were brought here as a child, someone along the line, someone in your family tree broke a law. They crossed a border without permission, or overstayed a visa. Deal with it. Before we can legalize your status, you have to accept the wrong that was done and someone has to make amends for it -- if not you, then the person who broke the rules.

Like the saying goes...it takes two to tango.

Pianoswithoutfaith · 12-28-2012, 04:27 PM

yeah thats why on his article I said I do agree with him to some extent. Like that guy who got super pissed because the office was closed a day before Christmas. And its not just him, I have seen others compared our situation with that of African Americans in the 60s. And well Americans are pretty much raised with a self of entitlement, they are born winners and deserve the best. As you have said, they are raise to aspire more than what they have. So its only natural that kind of raise up trait has been passed indirectly to some illegal aliens. They get an opportunity like DACA and suddenly its a,"well I should be rewarded for NOT getting caught for over 5 years!! that is like super hard!! The office is closed a day before Christmas?! WHY THOSE LAZY SONS OF !%^@%!^@ YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS!! THIS KIND OF SERVICE IS UNACCEPTABLE!! We are being treated like how blacks were in the 60s!! This is our Civil Rights movement! I worked my butt off finishing law school! I DESERVE to granted some kind of residency for all of this hard work!! " American culture is a culture of entitlement so of course this would pass to others coming here.

Yeah DACA people need to stop blaming their parents. Always playing the victim, "well I was brought here with out my will or consent!! its THEIR fault NOT mine!" Yeah but at some point your parents stop being responsible for you, you know at age 18? "WELL WELL YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS!! Its not my fault I was brought here as a kid!! Why should I have to move back to my country?"

I remember when the Dream Act was introduced, it was all about helping high school graduates undocumented finish college and maybe provide a path to legal residency. But it seems that has been forgotten, now its just a path to legal residency. I have been reading a lot of posts here about DACA being useless and how it really doesn't offer them any benefits they didn't already have before.

Point here: we just all need to know how to be more grateful.

msaccountant · 12-28-2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoswithoutfaith

yeah thats why on his article I said I do agree with him to some extent. Like that guy who got super pissed because the office was closed a day before Christmas. And its not just him, I have seen others compared our situation with that of African Americans in the 60s. And well Americans are pretty much raised with a self of entitlement, they are born winners and deserve the best. As you have said, they are raise to aspire more than what they have. So its only natural that kind of raise up trait has been passed indirectly to some illegal aliens. They get an opportunity like DACA and suddenly its a,"well I should be rewarded for NOT getting caught for over 5 years!! that is like super hard!! The office is closed a day before Christmas?! WHY THOSE LAZY SONS OF !%^@%!^@ YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS!! THIS KIND OF SERVICE IS UNACCEPTABLE!! We are being treated like how blacks were in the 60s!! This is our Civil Rights movement! I worked my butt off finishing law school! I DESERVE to granted some kind of residency for all of this hard work!! " American culture is a culture of entitlement so of course this would pass to others coming here.

Yeah DACA people need to stop blaming their parents. Always playing the victim, "well I was brought here with out my will or consent!! its THEIR fault NOT mine!" Yeah but at some point your parents stop being responsible for you, you know at age 18? "WELL WELL YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS!! Its not my fault I was brought here as a kid!! Why should I have to move back to my country?"

I remember when the Dream Act was introduced, it was all about helping high school graduates undocumented finish college and maybe provide a path to legal residency. But it seems that has been forgotten, now its just a path to legal residency. I have been reading a lot of posts here about DACA being useless and how it really doesn't offer them any benefits they didn't already have before.

Point here: we just all need to know how to be more grateful.

I think we have it better than african americans and other minorities did in the 60s. Especially if you live in the city (oh and not in Arizona of course.) Anyways, that person was just way too upset...lol

About that post I think people forget that we are all human we all have a life and therefore we all have a family. That's why I won't get mad if they take a day off or whatever because I have a family too. Personal life and family comes before anything else. I wish we had seen the DA/CIR passed instead of DACA but it wasn't possible and we all know why. People blame the president too much like he's the only person responsible for it. I also hate when I hear 'dreamers' blaming their parents. I won't ever blame them for what they did. Yes I admit they didn't do the right thing but I won't go around saying it's their fault, etc. They were young and made a mistake. Nobody's perfect and now that I'm an 'adult' I do believe my status is my responsibility...not theirs. Like you said we did decide to stay so oh well. Now would I like to receive financial aid from the government, voting rights, citizenship? Yes of course but as of now that's impossible and therefore you won't see me bitch about it. I know it'll take years for it to happen and I'm fine with that as long as I know it'll happen some day. DACA isn't enough because some people aged out who have probably lived here longer than I have and that's why CIR/DA needs to happen. There's also the older immigrants who might not care if they don't get citizenship but they are responsible for their families and young kids.

Demise · 12-28-2012, 06:51 PM

Oh fuck that guy, stop paying attention to him.

MannyGcia87 · 06:58 PM

moral of the story, we are not entitled to anything; therefore we must always work hard even when we have something we should strive for more and work even harder. Not for other people to accept us or for others to be proud of us, but for our own feeling of accomplishment. I don't agree with the writers view of "keeping your head down" you should never keep your head down, be humble but be proud at the same time. Anyways in the end when all is said and done, those who believe they are entitled to being granted legal status will most likely take it for granted and lose it.

cacheton011 · 12-28-2012, 07:12 PM

So we should supress our frustration and hope congress gives us a handout? We should speak through our actions and show America we are worthy.

No offense to any Americans, but I'm pretty sure many Americans would NOT be willing to go through what we went through to get an education.

I worked a full time job with OT and attended school full time at night and weekends. I would get maybe 3 hrs of sleep per day....and I did this for 6 years. I paid for my own tuition, bills, and living expenses. When my car broke down I had to ride the bus for almost 3 hrs (one way). I went through so much shit but I finally graduated. I honestly believe we dreamers have demonstrated enough through our examples.

We just want to be equal and have an equal opportunity at success.

Pianoswithoutfaith · 12-28-2012, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msaccountant

Lol I don't know their situation but I do know of many people that are against CIR/DA yet they themselves broke the law only now they are USC's because they got married to one.

Anyways, to this Ruben guy all I have to say is in a way he's got a point. D:

Why? We have been raised/grown up in this country where the majority doesn't settle. If they don't like something well they try to change it because it's possible unlike in so many other countries. Is that our fault? No, I actually thought we're suppose to assimilate.

Now about this last part:

Like the saying goes...it takes two to tango.

wait did I say

her

lmao I meant his

msaccountant · 12-28-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cacheton011

So we should supress our frustration and hope congress gives us a handout? We should speak through our actions and show America we are worthy.

No offense to any Americans, but I'm pretty sure many Americans would NOT be willing to go through what we went through to get an education.

I worked a full time job with OT and attended school full time at night and weekends. I would get maybe 3 hrs of sleep per day....and I did this for 6 years. I paid for my own tuition, bills, and living expenses. When my car broke down I had to ride the bus for almost 3 hrs (one way). I went through so much shit but I finally graduated. I honestly believe we dreamers have demonstrated enough through our examples.

We just want to be equal and have an equal opportunity at success.

That's why I think this ruben guy's full of bs. First he says be humble don't demand. Then he says well we're demanding cause we grew up here and have assimilated into the american culture. What the french toast do they want from us? First some say we have to assimilate then this nutter says not so much. ay ay ay

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If I offended demanding DREAMers, I'm not sorry