So I need some advice.

Preferably from an older dreamer, and if at all possible a girl. So I have a friend who coincidentally was my first girlfriend like 5 years ago. And this may seem like a lie, but I got over that break up, and then after a year or so we became friends again. Now we're are super good friends, and hang out a lot. So I kind of have feelings for her again... I can't get her out of my head, and I feel like the only way to fix me is to ask her, but I know I'm not the right guy for her. At least I don't feel good enough for her, and not because of my status, but just because she's so nice. So this is a long shot, but if any of you have any type of advice I would appreciate it. Like how do I get her out of my head without making the friendship weird, or being a crappy friend? I normally would keep this to my self, but I needed to let it out somehow.

1.Does she know the truth about your status?
2.Would you still have the same hesitation if you weren't undocumented?

Ask her out. No matter what she says it will help you.

If she says no, then it will be easier to get over her.

The worst you can do is act as though you are a friend when you know that you want something more with her.

I speak from experience. It is better to come out and tell her how you really see her.


Once I used to like this girl who had always been my friend. Since early one. Well, I tried playing the game of just friends even though I liked her. It was not healthy for me, I would think about her all the time and it was just too painful. So I told her what I wanted from her.

She got a little hmm weirded out, So I stopped talking to her for like a month. Later she called me and asked me to hang out. It was like we had just met, and I did not act as her friend anymore. I told her I did not see her a friend but rather as a woman. We went out for a while. It was fun!

We stopped dating due to the fact that I did not really find her that much interesting. We are still friends now.

Just let it out man!!!

It is the best you can do.

I know it is easy to say and hard to implement. This is how I see it. Girls are not stupid... they might seem like they are but they are not. If they care about you at least a little bit and they reject you they will come back and think about you. If you get over them , then will be puzzled as to why.

This will increase your chances later on.

It is also a great confidence booster...

No she doesn't. In this particular situation my status doesn't affect my asking her out. The reason I even hesitate is because she is just so great, and I'm not so great. Like every friend she has is her best friend she is so sweet. So I just think she deserves better. And we already tried once I think I just need to just need to be as good of a friend to her as I can and repress those feelings.

I'll seriously consider just doing it because I know it is a sure way to either get a no so I can officially relinquish those feelings, or the other thing which I''m more afraid of to be honest... This so weird for me.

Don't get me wrong I've been in the friends zone before, and one time it worked out and the other was very awkward.

Thanks for the feedback, both of you guys. I'm hoping just talking it out will get me to just forget about the feelings some how.

Don't waste your time and risk hurting your pride. You'll get over it.

Female point of view here:
What was the reason for your initial breakup years ago, and why do you think that she deserves to be with someone else?

I've learned from personal experience that it is better to sometimes leave some relationships in the past. You can do that without coming off as a mean spirited friend by keeping your distance and not spending as much time with the person that you're trying to get over, but still being cordial to them and saying "hello" to them occasionally.

The more time you spend with someone that you once had feelings for, the more difficult it becomes to not develop feelings for them all over again; which is of no use, if you do not think that you're the most compatible mate for her, and things may end up falling apart again. Try to move on and date other people that you're more compatible with, that way you can still have her as a friend....

To be honest she broke up with me so I don't really know, but I assume it had to do with us being so young, my inexperience, and I was boring. I rather keep that reason to myself.

Well I'm completely over the relationship in the past. In fact I don't actually want to try again. I just want to get her out of my head. And your advice would work for every other situation, but this one. I'm not gonna go into detail about it. It seems counter intuitive for me to do so given my goal. And it's not that we are not compatible, in fact our friendship is so special to me it kind of strengthens my feelings. Just to make it clear these feelings are not the same as those from our previous relationship. Then I didn't know her, and I was mostly captivated by her beauty, and the impeccable details of our encounter. Between then and now I have dated 4 other girls, and she has had a boyfriend or two. So believe me when I say I got over her. We became friends again and I finally got to know her, and we actually became really close. So that is when I realized how great she was. As a person. It was kind of hard not to want to be with a beautiful saint.

Thanks for the feedback. I think I know what I'm gonna do now.

I'm a bit confused by your post because you say that you are over her on one hand, but it also sounds like you are starting to fall for her again. At the end of the day, you need to be honest with yourself and her as to what you really want from your friendship. All the best.

Well I meant I got over her, and I have fallen for her in a different light. And thanks.