Please read my story.

Somtimes my only wish is for another person to understand my life.

My life wasn't always so bad... back home, my Dad was an important man in his line of work. Despite many obsticles in his life, he studied in Oxford and had a prestigious job. My mother was a stay at home mom and she was treated like a queen. But my brother, who is 14 months older than me was different. I always knew. When we would play hide and seek with the other kids, he couldn't find them. I remember being loud on purpose so he could find me. It was obvious he had learning problems. My parents later found out that he was being beaten by teachers in school. They knew he would have no life there.

I remember crying when I was little because I felt sorry for my brother. Because he was different. Sometimes I hated him for it. I hated that I had to look out for him, but at the same time, I would feel so guilty.

I remember when my parents told us we were going on vacation. We would go some where every summer. Usually London. But this time they said we were going to America. I was 8 at the time and my brother was 9. We got on a plane and came to California. We were soon enrolled in school. That is when I knew we weren't going back anytime soon. Things were hard. My Dad went back home to work for another year knowing that he was giving up his dream to help his son.

We had an attorney who was helping us get our green cards. Years later we found out that he was not a real attorney. He had taken years from us, years that we thought he had spent working on our case. He had taken thousands of dollars from us. We were left with nothing and an illegal status. I remember going to high school and feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't drive. I would see my brother at school, he had no one. I hated myself for not trying harder to hang out with him, but at the same time I had it bad enough. I cried all the time.

Then 9/11 happened and the laws changed and everything took a turn for the worse. I hate seeing my parents so unhappy. My father who is a brilliant educated man lost everything. My mother works day and night. My brother tries hard to keep busy, but there are no jobs for people like him.

I am now 24 years old. I do not have an I.D. card. I do not have a driver's license. I cannot work. I go to school and will graduate soon but I will not be able to work. I have never gone anywhere which requires proof of my age. I have never left the city I live in for the past 16 years. I have never broke the "law" by driving a car. My family has always paid taxes, and we do not collect any type of payment from the government for my brother. (which we are able to due to his disability-- but we do not)

I feel like I am going crazy. I look at my past and realize that I wasted a lot of time doing pointless things and spending my time with dumb people because I felt I did not deserve any better. I feel like if I felt I was normal I would strive higher and I know I would be where I wanted to be by now.

I often think about killing myself. I feel like my life was stolen from me. I feel as though my life is a big mistake and it should have never happened. I never got a say in anything that happened to me, and it is honestly the worst feeling. I cry going to sleep and cry waking up. I think this world is not for me.

Sorry about your story, but stay strong and fight when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place (16 years!!). Nobody said life was going to be easy.

I'm sorry you're going through some tough times. But keep strong, the DREAM Act will pass if we keep working on it and things will get easier for all of us.

Don't let your undocumented status define who you are. It certainly makes things a lot more difficult, but it shouldn't be the reason why you're not striving higher to be where you want to be.

Keep your head up.

Do you want a driver's license? message me and I'll explain you how to get it.
You can drive and go out, even show your foreign passport in clubs, it's ok. The only thing that you can't do is to have a high paying, good job.

I'm sorry about what happened to you and your family, esepcially your brother. If you live in Norcal we should meet up and talk some more. (PM me)

I hope you get better! Stay strong!!

First welcome to DAP. I am really sorry about your situation but come on like maria has stated you been here sixteen years already there is no reason to give up now.You should not feel like your life was a mistake or that it was stolen. Think about this things happen for a reason and it comes down to what you make of it.Also if you think you have hit a low point in your life remember that there are others worse off then us in other countries.Cheer up and keep your head up things will get better soon.

Hi! I'm really sorry that you feel so depressed, but I hope that you realize this will not be forever. You have to find some inner strength to pull you through and remind yourself that things will change. There are lots of great people here that can give you information about stuff you CAN do (like bn1 offered), and you can help all of us fight for DREAM Take care

Just keep your head up girl, i know ive had my share of depressing moments. Your still young, life will get better. Tell you what, when the dream act passes.. ill throw you a party. And your brother can come too

I'm sorry for all the bad things that have happen to you and your family I know its hard but just keep your head up and have patience. The best is yet to come.

I understand what your going trough as I'm sure everyone here does some of the things that your feeling I feel all the time the feeling of being so helpless and useless, most of the time when I wake up I ask myself why do I keep waking up I have no purpose and as I see it no future but then I think about the Dream Act and how just Maybe I can get a life and stop dreaming of a life and actually live one. When I get sad I try to think how bad some other people have it but its hard. I spend most of the day alone I have no friends anymore No Girlfriend witch is one of the most annoying things. But I keep hoping that soon I'll be able to get out and experience life. I've been here for 11 years I'm now 21 when I was younger I always assumed that by this time everything was going to be OK I never thought this would come to pass. You can imagine my disappointment in how things turn out for me. When we came here my mom had about 70,000 dollars but because of 9/11 we lost it all just another thing to be happy about. They call this the land of opportunity but I have yet to see any of it because coming here was in my opinion a huge mistake. Maybe back home we would live in fear of being killed but I could have had a life I have WASTED YEARS of my life that I will never get back opportunities that have been taken from me I'm 21 and most of the time I feel like I'm still 10 because of all the restrictions that I have. The Dream Act has to pass Now and I'm sure it will but time passes so slow sometimes. Sorry for the long speech I know life sucks big time but we cannot give up on our freedom. Have Faith that things will change for the best soon.

Hi! welcome! well im fairly new here too but as everyone said, keep your head up. Just remember this: We only have one life to live. So please dry your tears and make the best out of each and every day. I know this is easier said than done. (own experience). And just stick around and help as much as you can!