dating and undocumented guys - Page 7

I though I was the only one with problems dating I feel horrible when it comes to meting women I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I have been in very uncomfortable situations when women have shown affection for me I always start to think of ways to turn them down, and it kills me every time. In High School there was this girl I was in love with and I never told her and as far as I know she was the only one that I have had feelings for. The other day this girl was hitting on me and it really made me sad to think that I had to walk away again. If only I had a car and a job I would go out there and get a girlfriend but life sucks and I'm always alone. Both my sister have boyfriends and my older sister got marry and she is now legal and my younger sister might be getting marry soon and I just don't see that happening with me I can't bring myself to get close to someone in the position that I'm in keep in mind that I'm 22 and I've never had a relationship I've been here for 12 years and from what I can see nothing is going to change in the near future. I have high hopes that the Dream Act will pass soon but I don't know when it's going to pass.

I can relate. I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship either. Mostly because of this whole immigration issue that we have upon us but my mentality has changed though. I think as long as we have personality(like juang said) and character along with having means to express ourselves, we do have that chance to be with someone. I think the car, the money, the clothes etc...doesn't make a difference as long as you meet a person who isn't materialistic. The almighty dollar can only go so high and with this economy, who knows in which direction it may go? I don't think a independent, respectful, educated, healthy, practical person would like to know how much is in ones wallet but what stories, intellect, imagination, spirit, and values have in them. For me, I'd like to give it a go. But due to the area of where I live, $ is seen as a standard in order to be seen as a eligible partner. =/ Don't get me wrong though, if the opportunity comes, I'm going for it. =)

In short, you never know until you try. You know what they say about assumptions right? =P

cars? money?

geez at that age all you need is what Juang said... confidence.

girls aren't very serious and is just looking for a fun time.

but if you're into nice, quieter girls they might be more serious in relationships and will not consider just a confident dude with no real material.

Afterall, when girls become more mature they would want a real man. A real man creates an empire for himself and doesn't just holler at women while driving his mom's car.

Develop a real skill. Skill to pick up women is not a real skill and won't count for shit in 10 years. With real skills, rest will follow.

Confidence can only get you so far sometimes. Let's say you live in SC were driving is a necessity and parents don't let you drive their cars. You pretty much will get dumped if you need to have mom/dad take you on dates. It doesn't really matter how nice the girl is. It's pretty normal to think an adult should drive and work/study and it's very difficult to get to meet someone and get far enough to trust them and tell them about your situation. And let's say you're the one driving and get pulled over without her knowing your situation. You're almost positively going to get dumped

With that said you've got to find a way to find someone. maybe you can study and hang around in campus until you know each other well enough who knows. but dating can be so difficult

I was venting the other day in the chat room because this is really getting to me. With the exception of one hispanic girl I didn't like (and she was actually a citizen), I'm 18 and I've never had someone who really cares for me I can't wait till this is all over and I can put my situation behind me and find someone who I make happy. I'm not a very picky guy either, but it's really heart breaking when theres no one special in your life, heck no one you could possibly even dream about without crashing. I just end up realizing all the ways i can get dumped

1.- I complete agree with you. When it comes to dating the only thing a guy really needs is confidence.

2.-That's not true. In fact, those "nicer quieter girls" tend to be more attracted to a guy who is very confident. Why do you think in school the nice girl always has a crush on the bully? Those kind of girls normally are looking for someone to provide the self confidence they lack.

Reality check...when a girl falls in love with a guy, it doesn't matter how rich or poor he may be.

3.-Only someone who doesn't have that skill of picking up women would think of it as something that "won't count for shit in 10 years". I'm sorry, I'm just saying the truth here.

1. cool.

2. they are not really nice girls. u went to the wrong school. reality check: money matters. In this age the rich are mostly self-made. That means they had the skill and means to be rich and that alone has a lot of implied confidence and backbone.

3. I think ur in denial. or ur standards are just low. just sayin the truth also look at the poster above u. Fairy tale time is over my friend. Work hard and be somebody. You can flirt the world but in the eye of a man you're still a nobody.

2. I didn't go to the wrong school. I have to admit that to some girls money does matter, however, would you like to be with a girl who is with you just because you're rich? I know I wouldn't, but again, i have higher standards than most guys; I go for looks, brains, and a good heart. Just think about what you're saying...and more importantly, look at the way you look at life.

If to you being rich is the reason why someone is good with girls, you have the wrong idea about dating. I seriously hope that you are rich or that one day you'll be rich, that way maybe one day you will have the success I have had.

3. I don't think it is you in denial...I know you're in denial. Get this into your head: Money doesn't matter to a girl if she likes you. If she likes your personality, she is going to like you no matter how much or how little money you have. The same goes for when a girl doesn't like you.

All this "you have to be somebody in the eye of a man before being able to find a good girl" mentality actually says LOTS about you and your insecurities qingshu. Trust me, the last thing a girl wants is a guy with insecurities.

As I've said before, I hope you are rich...or that one day you'll be rich, otherwise you will never be happy or get a girl you like. And even after that, only god knows what kind of girl you will have at the end.

As for me, I'm happy the way I am. I will never be rich. And that's fine because I know I don't need to be rich to be happy or find the kind of girl I like.

HAHAHA

What kind of personality can a poor person have?

Not ambitious - check.
Not an alphamale - check.
Not willing to better his situation - check.
Not independent - check.

Like I said, there are plenty of other implied attributes thats attached to the new generation rich. I'm not saying that if you're poor there is nobody for you. Of course you will get married in life and you will see bums and trailer drunks with wives.

We're talking higher standards here.

I'm not talking about a girl who cares about money as in a gold digger. Profiling exist in the world and if you're poor, you're likely to get profiled with the attributes I mentioned above. In 10 years, talk is cheap and its what you will be able to provide that makes you a better man than the next.

It is merely the truth and it should be motivation for all men to strive and make his career his primary attraction, not his lips.

Back to topic. RIGHT NOW you can get a girl by being suave because now it is the norm for teens not to be able to provide. But in 10 years things will be different and her expectations of you, your duty as a man will differ from that of teens age.

Welcome to reality.

Append: I see you also mentioned me being rich. I'm not 6 digits rich but I'm above average. Life is a battlefield. If you're going to withdraw to "personality will get me everywhere" then you're going to have a train wreck coming soon. A small success at the honeymoon stages is considered "success" in teens age perhaps. But in a longer run you're going to take a backseat. And guess what? Girls know that too.

I really hope you never become poor. Because if you do, all your life goes down the toilet. I guess you don't have, and will never have, that kind of personality that attracts women without involving you having to pay for something.

About the check list you made up there, you can always be all that even without being rich. Remember, not to all people money means everything. Some people go for the spiritual stuff instead.

like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills and computer hacking skills?