Would you date an undocumented person? - Page 7

Haha Dazanny4002 your "sigh" made me laugh! In a good way though

lol

My family not a lawyer always told me not to date my own. Lol. On the other hand, one of my family members did get married and they are very happy but struggling. It all just up to the person but life is hard enough with one person being undocumented, why make it two? Not to mention if you have children, what will be of them?

It is tempting because of the understanding and that undocumented connection but that is just not for me.

I will only date undocumented people, forget those legals and their fancy papers!

I don't dare to say no because you never know, but the truth is that it would make me very sad and anguished to love someone in my same situation. It would stress me out to think that our future would be uncertain. I've already experienced having to completely change my plans and course just because I don't have papers. But then again, think about the stress of having to tell your USC citizen about your status? It's never wrecking!

BUT if I was a citizen, her being illegal would not affect my thoughts on our relationships.

I personally would date an undocumented person if I loved them. I really would advise everyone to be as straight forward as possible with your lovers. I was with my ex-gf for a year when I told her about my situation. She broke up with me shortly. Now i've been with current gf for 3 months and i've lied about my status in the beginning (which was a very bad move). I had no idea that I would soon fall in love with her. I just told her about my situation and she thinks i've been living a complete lie. And I don't blame her for thinking that way.. I'm tired of living a lie and living alternate lives. It took a lot of balls to tell her, but i'm glad I dealt with a little bit of reality. The reality is that I can't commit myself to a relationship with my status/lifestyle. This really breaks my heart. On top of my status, I also have to deal with my strict cultured parents. I can't bring a lady friend into my house to meet my rents. Even when my parents aren't home, I usually wouldn't bring my gf over because i'm ashamed of our small apartment. I'm pretty sure my gf and I will not be together for much longer. This really sucks guys. I hope someone will read this and feel like they can somewhat relate, because I don't really know many people who can relate with me.

I think what matters is HOW you break the news. If you break it on them in a way that makes them feel like you scammed them or used them, they will react badly.

You have to be careful to let them know how difficult and painful it was for you to come out and say it.

Anitagreencard:

I relate soo much to you! I was in a relationship about a year ago that ended shortly after because my lifestyle was/is too hectic. We couldn't really hang out as much, because I had to word and well, driving is a little dangerous too...so she couldn't comprehend why I worked so much. I never told her about my status though.

And recently, I started seeing this other girl, who is from Iran. I like her, but with her, things are even worse because even though she likes me as well, her life is completely different than mine

cyber high-five

Having "dated'" people in both sides of the fence, I really much prefer the company of someone in our situation. They tend to be more self-sufficient, independent, and genuinely caring about others. I emphasize that last bit because there's something about having lived this way that USC's will never understand, their lives are much more sheltered and are truly indifferent about the concerns of others. There has always been a small tinge of prejudice with every USC i've ever met and it bothers me more than I'd like to admit.

When w/an undecoumented girl, I've never felt our problems suddenly doubled or multiplied in any way, rather they just stayed the same and our relationship became something independent of said things and the bond was a bit stronger and more genuine because of it (sounds contradictory i know).

I know exactly what you mean. And I agree with you completely. I call it the 'citizenship privilege.' I feel the disconnect even with my friends, and my brother, who's a USC. Sucks to admit, but very true.