Read this and leave your comments i'd really appreciate it

I love to write and when i have something in my head i can't figure out it helps. i wrote this poem/rap to the beat of "My Block" by Tupac about illegal immigration and i'd love it if anyone would read it and let me know if you like or if it's any good. THANKS(:
P.S. some of the lyrics wrote are in Spanish since i can't write in Spanish they're probably spelled wrong.

I know y’all don’t know what to do when I’m hurt, when I’m angry
that’s okay not to many people the trials of an immigrant
Put us down telling us to go back
Do they think it was our wish to leave our people
Left our families and entire life behind
Cause we heard of America where the money don’t hide
Baby need some food and mama need a roof
So here we go taking a big chance
Risk our lives through deserts and high waters
Running from the people that try to capture us
They don’t understand all we want is a better vida no estoy pregontando por mas
When we make it to the place we came to be
We are told we don’t belong here
All I gotta say is I been through hell just to set foot here
Everything you take for granted, to me it’s dear
I been in the states for 11 years
Any insult you throw won’t send me packing to go home
Even after you shot us down we still have a dream
Trying to stop us now cause you know we’ll win
Realize that wanting to survive is not a sin

CHORUS: A better life is in my dream
One where all man kind is a team,
but for now we still separated
In my heart I still pray, in my heart I still dream

You can never understand what I feel till you’ve been protested against
One side fighting for legalization the other for illegalization
Can’t you see it’s tearing more than a nation
People talk nonsense without knowing my story
Bad things kept happening and I told myself not to worry
One day things will be better and they will be sorry
My mama made me leave my home when I was 3 years old
I didn’t have a choice but I still suffer for it
I’m thankful for my parents decision but at times I resent it
People told me to stay in school and work hard
Back then I didn’t think
But now I know that ain’t gonna get me no green card
I listened did my work I did all that plus more
Ask my teacher, from me she couldn’t ask for anymore

CHORUS

We living in yet another time of change
No matter how hard they try we won’t be locked in a cage
You can turn and spray us with mace and we still won’t be divided
Hate on us more, make more of your laws and we still immigrants untied
We all walk under the same moon
And if we stop turning on each other, work together, it’ll all stop soon
Don’t give up think of who your doing it for
Me, I do it for my abuelita
I got a job para mandar un dinerito
I never stop dreaming ni sicera un pocito
Congress said no dream act
That was motivation to form a pact:
No matter how many times people call me a wetback
I’ll never forget where I come from and on our fight I’ll never let up
You can knock me down but I’ll get up
Drugs bring in the money but I will never be caught up in it
We all know of the American dream and we will never stop until we win it

Great song man. If you feel like you're able to post a Youtube video of your lyrics, you probably should.

This song is amazing dude. It really talked to me. I'm not much into rap, but when I hear or read stuff this deep, then I appreciate it. It's great bro. Keep makin them songs

Exshired!

Put it over the "My Block" beat! It's pretty dope bro!

I Love It

Heyyy it's me, the girl that wrote the song. Thanx for all the feedback(:

and i've noticed that most of you have been calling "bro" and "dude", i don't really mind but i thought i should let you know i'm a girl lol

you should go into a studio and record this.