Got outed today

Let me preface by saying that I don't tell anybody about my status unless it is absolutely necessary. I have had best friends who've known me for years and never found out. It's not that I am ashamed or scared, I'm just a private person in general and don't feel the need to disclose that information.

Anyway, back in high school I confided in a teacher about my status because she and I were close, and I had just had an emotional breakdown because I knew I wasn't going to be able to afford college. She called me over to her classroom and insisted I fill out the FAFSA right then and there. As you can see, I had to tell her. Anyway her and I have kept in touch over the years and I was sure I could confide in her.

Well today, a friend and I went to visit a teacher (not the one aforementioned) and she was asking me all kinds of questions about school. She asked how I was able to pay for it and this and that. (Side note: said friend does not know about my status). Then I mentioned something about grad school and she said don't worry, the DREAM Act will pass. I quickly tried to divert from that and said maybe I don't want to go to grad school and then she said "but maybe that's the only option you have". Ok clearly, she knows about my status. I felt myself getting red and from the corner of my eye saw my friend give me a weird look. We left a couple minutes later and hung out some more...yea...that was super awkward. There was tension and I could just tell he wanted to ask me about that. We always get along really well and have a nice banter going but after that it was just forced conversation and awkward silences.

The point being that the teacher I confided in obviously told this other teacher. I'm not sure why she would do that especially knowing how private I am and they're not even good friends! So, have any of you been outed like that?

I m sorry to hear that, personally when I was in HS nobody knew about my status. I m like you, kept to myself, never confided in anyone because you are only setting up yourself for disappointment. I did have two teachers who I was able to confide in, but decided not to. I mean not harm came from this, but I see where you are coming from. The conversation was between you and her/him, and should of never been disclosed to anyone. I would just leave it at that, because if you decide to confront your teacher, it might ruin things. She probably did it out of desperation to see if anyone else could help your case. And if this friend of yours really is a good friend, I would share this about yourself with him. I had a best friend that never knew about my status, we were friends since we were in the sandbox. You are probably wondering why I m mentioning this, well simple my friend passed away a little over two years ago of a brain aneurysm, it never stops crossing my mind that I should of shared this with him. That right there is my only regret in life and it destroys me each time I think about it. Good luck to you and I m sure you'll be fine. God Bless.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Not just because your secret was revealed, but that fact that your privacy and trust was violated and broken. I'd feel and respond that way you have.

I haven't been outed in this way (like this specific 'secret'), but a few secrets got out, like a couple of crushes and people I didn't like. It was embarrassing and awkward.

Tbh, this is why I'm afraid to come out to my guidance counselor. She is close me to me, but I don't feel like we're close enough. She'll someday handle my college forms, and I'm anxious about that.

Meh, they are just trying to help, realize that your case isn't unique. If you didn't open up to someone you wouldn't be able to achieve much at the academic level. As you get older opening up to people will get much easier, also, letting your TRUE friends know about your situation is probably the greatest trust test. I personally wouldn't worry on anyone calling ICE on me, if you are laying low, have no problems with the law, and are studying, you shouldn't have any problems.

if you feel down bc of embarassment right now just imagine what many of us feels when we graduated college and have nothing waiting for us. toughen yourself up. if you can't take it now, you'll be like suicidal by the time you graduate college.

I think teachers have to talk to other teachers and councilors to know exactly how to help there dreamers out and have to be dead on balls accurate. Its a lot to keep up with so you might be reading it the wrong way and she was doing her best to help you out. I have not seen any signs anywhere where teachers have tried to get student deported or harmed. Maybe its happening but its never on the news and there are a lot of undocumented students here in Texas that are given all the info they need to succeed in there journey.

TBH, you have to realize a lot of people don't go through what we go through, many people do not understand what it means to be undocumented or the limitations involved. They do not know that this is something we try to keep very secret to ensure our survival as we worry this information coming out could put us in some sort of threat, or could strain friendly relationships, and the latter is likely to happen, as herpinderpin mentioned, this is a true trust test.

I have met with people that are considerably involved with immigration and movements involving immigrants and dreamers alike, who I was shocked to realize they really don't understand our situation all too well, and I don't blame them, it is not something that they have to worry about.

I do not think the teacher meant any harm, and I think everyone would agree, s/he just did not know how private this was.

With all that mentioned, none of my closest friends know about my status, the only friends that know of my status knew of my status before I met them, period, though within this week I will probably tell one of my close friends who I have suspected to be in the same predicament for some time already, at the very least I know this person knows what the DREAM Act is.

I will also be telling more teachers and counselors in the coming weeks about my status in hopes of trying to reach other dreamers that might not be getting the best quality information around, this is something that is entirely new to me, already my first meeting with a counselor from my past high school set up for wednesday, and this is a high school which I know rumors could be heard by every single person in the matter of hours. I am however, debating the telling other teachers in general. I am certain there is not going to be any kind of animosity involved, they knew me as a great student that did very well in their classes, if anything they could become more aware and potentially publicly supportive of the DREAM Act, and that is something I think would be of great use in general.

I will admit that until I read your account I did not consider the possibility that I could be outed, but I guess I am just going to have to accept what happens and just move on. Certainly there is the potential that more people than I want would learn of my situation, but look, its not the end of the world, at the very least, if you are not their enemy you might just get more people to become supportive and fight for the DREAM Act, people that actually have the ability to create an influence with their vote. I do think that a lot of the discussion against the DREAM Act or CIR is made by people who have a very segregated view of who are really the individuals they are talking about, and if they realized they knew someone personally who they considered to be a friend in this predicament their views are very likely to change, at the very least, it would become very hard for them to voice any dissenting opinion.

Thanks for sharing guys. I know for a fact that she didn't mean harm, she is a great person and has helped me out a lot. That doesn't make it any easier though. I know the people on this forum are divided b/w telling and not telling people about their situation. For me it is hard because like I said, I'm generally private and also because pretty much all of my friends (who come from immigrant parents) have had everything handed to them and don't understand this at all.

Anyway, now that a few days have passed I'm taking it as a grain of salt, no big deal. Life goes on. Bertdude, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

Bragging about being undocumented is as terribly stupid as people picking on you for your legal status. You need to adopt the correct attitude when people confront you about your "illegality" because to be honest it's much more easy dealing with bigots than dealing with the anxiety of having to be extra cautious/secretive about your life every single fucking day. Just remember this phrase, "I have a clean criminal record, I pay my taxes in one way or another, I don't get special benefits for being illegal, and I am paying my education out of my (or parent's) pocket." Feel free to tell them this and then shut your mouth and leave because tea-bagger statistical data is plainly ridiculous. You are not trying to convince them that what you are saying is true, you are convincing yourself that you have an equal right to enjoy your life and that you are not a lesser person.
People who look at you with scorn are not even people that you want in your life so what's the point of trying to convince them? Save yourself the trouble, they are not important to you. One of the most important rules of socialization is accepting that it is impossible to make everyone like you, look forward to influence those who you want to be with and you'll have a support group.

Who the hell brags about being undocumented.. I'm sure we can find pride in other things guys..