Really depressed.. - Page 4

I've been there OP. Calm down. We can't change some things in our lives. I know it's tough. I've been close to taking my life too... Walking helps. I'd leave my house for a few hours and just walk around until I felt so damn tired. Think things over. Life's not so bad even if it seems that way at times. Death isn't the answer to any of your problems. It's the cowards way out.

Everyone has a bad cycle, this year hasn't been my best. I'm currently unemployed, this has hurt my self esteem. It doesn't help neither, the fact that I have gone through a bad breakup. Some days I wake up feeling great, I have my ego up to the ceiling, other days I feel like a piece of trash. I try to make my days better by having something to look foward. I know things are going to get better, right now my situation is really bad. I feel ashamed to tell people, even is anomously in this forum. I try to look foward to small things, like Halloween. Im helping my cousin organize her annual Halloween party. I get easily exited about planning events :•)
My mom often critizes me, because she tells me to stop thinking about things, I'm never going to be able to afford. But it keeps my eye on the prize. I tell her if I don't have any materialsic or any other desires, then what's my motivation?
Think about your short term goals as well, to keep you motivated.
You're going to get approved!!'

Have you looked into babysitting?? Thats how I made my money. It something. There is always a way to make money. Look at other immigrants that do have jobs. They might work shitty jobs but they are still making money. I've worked in restaurants for a shitty pay long hours with no breaks. Sell cold ice water if must. I see black people do it and they are legal. Stay positive. Be strong and hold your head up high. Your life is beautiful and you will have a job permit soon. Hang in there!

I'm sorry this year has been bad for you. I am glad you find the good in something though. I can't even focus on that anymore. I've been unemployed for so long. It makes me feel like garbage. And its worse when i ask for a job and they ask for social. That hurts my confidence even more. I really hate it. All these friends of mine are moving On to better and bigger things. And for me, I'm stuck in this chapter in my life that is seemingly never ending. I'll try to find motivation like you though to keep going. <3

I did try that. I babysat for one month in June but they usually need CPR and first aid and that's expensive for me. So I can never find a good long term baby sitting job. And I'm willing to do any job. However, not every dreamer is lucky to find a job. Even cleaning jobs need a Ssn. They ask so much from you. But I'll try to stay positive.

What state are you in? If you live where its not populated by hispanics then I can see why you've struggled. Thankfully I live in a very diverse place. Either way, stay alive! Your permit will come soon

I think we've all been in that situation where we don't see the whole point of trying but then I stop and think that I am stronger than most people because of my status. I might not be at the same level as my friends but my determination is what keeps me going. It is because of our struggles that make us stronger individuals!! I understand how you feel, even though DACA has passed, I won't be 100% happy until I get approved but we also have to stay positive and think of all our options once we have our permit. After DACA it will be the DREAM Act and we will finally obtain the status we deserve. So please don't hurt yourself because even though you don't know us personally, we are still ALL HERE FOR EACH OTHER!!!

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. Depression is serious and while a change in circumstances can help it is often rooted in something deeper or even resulting from a medical condition. You can't just put a band-aid on it, you know? I suggest reaching out to people. Friends, family or to us DAPers. Talking to people about my depression (and feeling in general) and therapy has helped me so much. I haven't had suicidal thoughts in the past year which is a tribute to my progress. Can you get therapy through your school? If not, there are places with sliding scales and since you are out of work there's a good chance they'll waive the fee. Though, you'll most likely end up with a student.

Thank you soo much for posting this. There are so many like us and it feels good to know that you're not alone.

7 Things That Influence Happiness That You Don’t Need to Have

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Francis Tapon

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

When someone asks, “Are you happy?” we tend to look around at our peers and see how they are living.

If we’re better off than our peers, it’s likely that we decide to be happy. Therefore, one of the tricks of being happy is to change the group we compare ourselves to.

Silicon Valley gossip columns enjoy pointing out that Oracle’s software titan Larry Ellison, whose $40 billion net worth makes him one of the top 10 richest people in America, is not the happiest guy around, mainly because he always compares himself to Bill Gates.

Meanwhile, on the Appalachian Trail, some backpackers feel smug because they got a spot in a shelter (which only has three walls and frequently has rodents nearby), whereas the latecomers have to set up their tent in the rain.

For some reason most backpackers covet the spots in the shelters, and prefer cramming next to snoring neighbors than setting up their tent.

I suppose if we put Larry Ellison on the Appalachian Trail, he might feel better about himself if we somehow made sure that he always got to stay in one of the shelters (and Bill Gates had to sleep outside under a shoddy tarp).

Let’s say you’re a thru-hiker (someone who spends months hiking an extremely long trail). Now imagine that someone visits your campsite and gives you and your four friends an envelope.

You open yours and it says that you get a free pizza at the next town. If you’re like most thru-hikers, you’d do a somersault with your backpack on!

Clearly, you would be ecstatic: Most thru-hikers value fresh food more than anything on the trail.

Therefore, if I were to ask you if you were happy about getting a free pizza, you would shout emphatically, “Yes! Woo-hoo!”

But now imagine that your friends finish opening their envelopes and not only do they all get a free pizza, but they get to stay at the Ritz Carlton, have a foot and back massage, stay in the Presidential suite with a Jacuzzi, and have all their laundry done for them.

Now, all of a sudden, you don’t feel so good anymore. You went from a state of exhilaration to one of melancholy.

From a purely rational perspective, if you were happy before, you should still be happy now. After all, you still get your free pizza, and that’s what got you so excited in the first place, right? I didn’t take that away from you, so you should still be happy.

However, when we’re trying to decide how happy we are, we tend to look at how other people are doing to help us make that decision. This is natural and it’s hard to fight this primal tendency.

“Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of others.” ~Ambrose Bierce

Use the urge to compare yourself with others in a positive way. Instead of avoiding the comparison game, just change who you compare yourself to.

If you want to instantly make yourself feel depressed, think about all the people who have much better lives than you. Conversely, if you want to make yourself instantly feel happy, compare your state to those less fortunate than you.

Moreover, don’t just compare yourself with those less fortunate than you, take it a step further—compare yourself with people who are less fortunate than you and who are happier than you.

It is at that moment that you will realize that you have no excuse. It’s all in your head. What else can explain why so many thru-hikers, who effectively live like bums in absolute squalor, are happy and fulfilled?

“One who is content with what one has is always happy.” ~Chinese Proverb

The implication of this Chinese proverb is that the fewer desires you have, the easier it will be to satisfy them and be happy. Confucius reinforced this philosophy when he praised his favorite disciple, Yan Hui: “A bowlful of rice to eat, a gourdful of water to drink, and living in a mean dwelling; all this is a hardship others would find intolerable, but Hui does not allow this to affect his joy. How admirable Hui is!”

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~Abraham Lincoln
Some psychologists believe there are seven factors that influence whether we are happy or not. Next time you feel like you’re being short-changed on one of them, compare yourself to the following:

1. Wealth: We’ve all met plenty of poor people who are happy. In case you haven’t, just ask yourself if Gandhi or Mother Teresa were happy.

2. Education: You don’t need to have access to encyclopedic knowledge or a Ph.D. to be happy. There is a reason that we say, “Ignorance is bliss!” There are tribes in the world, such as the Aborigines, that have little access to the Internet, TV, newspapers, books, and other sources of knowledge. Are they despondent?

3. Personal freedom: In every repressive regime there have been plenty of happy people. The Diary of Anne Frank demonstrates how a Jewish family in Nazi Germany enjoyed the simple moments of life even under the most confining of situations.

4. Equality: South Africa’s racist laws were extremely unequal. Yet many of its citizens did not let that be an excuse for being miserable and depressed.

5. Health: Stephen Hawking, the famous theoretical physicist, seems to enjoy every day of his life despite being confined to a wheelchair and living with ALS. Magic Johnson still maintains his ever present smile, even though he is HIV positive. Lance Armstrong kept a positive spirit in the face of cancer.

6. Social position: Order takers at McDonalds aren’t the pinnacle of the social ladder, but try to find an unhappy one among those who were selected to represent McDonalds in Utah’s 2002 Olympic Games. McDonalds picked their most service oriented employees from all over the world and flew them in for that world event.

7. Positive Life-events: Some of us get big lucky breaks (e.g., winning the lottery), others get big unlucky breaks (e.g., getting paralyzed from a car accident). However, just like there are unhappy millionaires, there are happy paraplegics. A tragedy does not force you to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

I’m not suggesting that you learn to be happy living the monastic life. Nor am I saying that people who live in challenging conditions have no right to complain or to try to improve their situation.

I’m simply suggesting that it is possible to enjoy life without all the things that we typically think of as basic requirements.

Too many people think, “I’ll be able to start enjoying life once I get __________________.” Don’t put it off for tomorrow or next month.

Even though there is some correlation between having the above things and enjoying life, they are not necessary to enjoy life. Just ask anyone who has thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail.

[quote=Dazzlingocean260;313318]I don't know why i feel like this. I'm just overwhelmed and stressed[/QU
just have faith in god and everything will be alright. you should go out with your friends, play sports, go to the gym, anything that will take your stress out. trust me we all have been depressed at one point and well get over it. JUst talk to your family, friends, and i know they will help you out. JUst think positive not negative. Life is precious
never give up, keep your head up buddy