guys i came out the closet

i finally told my boyfriend today about my situation.he's was leaving today to go back to albany before school starts.In august he moved out of his mom's house and moved into his own apartment with two of his cousins upstate ny (thing are really cheap up there).He's not in college but he is working up there.he usually comes to see me.He works at a school so he came down for winter break to spend it with me.but when he came down here things didnt go so good because i didnt have a job and i wasnt doing anything with my time.we didnt even go out anywhere.my parents are really strict and they never let me go out. my bf thinks that if i get a lil more independent they will have no choice but to let me go out more.so my bf kept bugging me to get a job , a state id a savings account and all of that good stuff.i know i mentioned this before in other posts. but anyways i obviously couldnt do any of those things. I kept making excuses.he finally couldnt take it anymore and he told me he wasnt going to come back to see me until may or until i get a job and all of that.i think he was starting to think i was just some kind of lazy loser.I didnt want this realtionship to fall apart because of that.i told myself i just have to tell him. i couldnt keep waiting anymore.all 4 years ive been with him i felt like i was lying.so this morning i called him and i told him that i had to tell him somthing very important.when he came to talk to me i just couldnt tell him.i wasted like 1 or 2 hours just talking about how i wanted to tell him and why.but the words wouldnt come out of my mouth.so i told him to go home and come back later so that i could get a chance to get my self together.he was patient enough to leave and come back (thats y i luv him so much lol) so when he came back i beat around the bush a lil bit but i finally just said it.i told him that the reason why i havnt gotten a job or anything is not because im lazy its because im illegal.I felt like dying at that moment but it was all worth it.he got mad at first which i understand and expected.He was mad because i kept that secret from him for so long and even when he asked m in the past if i was a citizen i never told him.Then he as mad at my pareents for not doing anything about my situation.then he was mad at me for just sitting back and letting him think i had a chance of getting a job and everthing when he was trying to help me out.then he felt sad for me because of what i have to go through.then he was mad at me again and asked me what did i think he was going to think if i told him.he told me he wouldnt stop loving me just because of my status, if anything he was going to help me.then he got silly and was worried about them deporting me or my parents sending me back to dominican republic as a punishment.then he cried a bit and didnt tell me why.he told me he still loved me and he wanted to leave because the more he stayed the more angry he was becoming.he kissed and hugged me and left to go back to albany.im telling u that was some emotional rollercoaster.he left mad but he called me later tonight while he was on the bus upstate and told me he wasnt mad at me anymore and he was going to try to help me as best as he could.and he told me i wouldnt be in this situation much longer.he also mention someting about me moving in with him but ill tell ya about that later on.so my advise to everyone who is scared to tell a love one is to just go out and tell them.there will never be a perfect time or moment.and the more you wait the harder it will become to tell them.if they really love u they will understand.i could talk from experience now lol.i feel so much better getting this whole thing off my chest.

I'm really glad it worked out for you Brenda. I bet its a huge wieght off your sholders.

Thats good that you told him! Now you REALLY know that he loves you! By the way, are you sure that he is "legal" ?

Yea, I remember when I told my ex like 3 years ago...i kinda cried...okay okay, i was balling, but it felt good telling her. To this day, she's probably the only one outside my family who knows bout my situation. But I guess now I don't have to explain myself to anyone anymore..I'm about to graduate w/ an engineering/business degree, have a very well paid internship (everyone loves me there muhaha), out of state ID, nice car, great friends, good lovers (haha, hey we're young)...i guess i must really thank god for all these wonderful things that really came together at the beginning of this year. I'm telling you all, this is OUR year!! Than only thing hold me and us back is this damn situation that has just about played itself out. I'm loving life right now and it just puts into perspective how our situation is pretty insignificant, yet it will soon be over! High five to all of you

Yeah I've always said that even though we do not have papers, we are still more fortunate than most just being in this country.
We might not have a clear future, but we can have a clear today.

I'm happy for you Brenda! Hope things go well. Keep us posted.

Our future is as clear as we want it to be. Don't let this slight misfortune cloud it.

That is true to an extent...but i myself, am a firm believer that you have to live w/ a woman first before you REALLY know her...people can be completely different under the same roof top, so I would live w/ a girl first b4 marrying her. Just my humble opinion

I didnt even read the post but the subject just made me laugh today and trust me it had to be worth replying since i never reply to any of your posts guys anyway good for those of you coming out to your friends and what not it does take a lot of courage i recently have come clean with a few of my friends and they are pretty supportive stay hopeful guys and maybe in the near future we can finaly be able to live a normal life like the rest of the people who take stuff like this for granted...

thanks guys for ur support.i feel really good now.its like im opening a new chapter of my life.now im just waiting for all the good stuff to come into my life.oh and im not moving in with my bf.at least not now.he just mentioned it and thats why i said ill talk to ya about that later.really later,like a few years later lol.i love this forum

hey Brenda...

ever heard of PARAGRAPHS?!

<yah..i'm mean>