USC thinking of the future with DACA bf

Hi everyone.

Been with my DACA bf for over a year now. We've been talking marriage already and know it's what we want, starting to tick off all the boxes like a joint lease and joint bank account since we know that's stuff that marriage interview people want to see. I would have wanted to build up more savings before getting married, but I feel like the election's pushing us in the direction to get married sooner rather than later.

Broke the news to my sister who's very happy for us, very supportive, but is voicing concerns like "I just don't want you to get married for a Trump reason, like I don't want you to have a marriage story of 'Trump became president so we got married'". I hear what she's saying and fully acknowledge it but I really believe that we don't have the privilege of time. She also says "well you don't really know what's going to happen", but again, I'd really rather not wait to find out.

The way I'm thinking of my marriage story is more like "We had been talking about it for a while and it's what we both wanted, then Trump became president, so I decided to do what's right by my significant other and get married since we're in love, and I want to protect our love".

I don't really know if I have a question, maybe I'm just putting this out there to get reactions from everyone. Getting married out of fear doesn't sound right. I know I don't have to justify my reasons to get married to anyone but myself, but I want to reassure my sister that this is what's right. What else can be said really?

I agree with you. It sucks you're marrying him those reasons but if you're deported ( I guess we are deported ) it'll be a lot harder for him to bring you back. And if you have AP Or came with a visa adjusting will very quick. Come to think it DHS is about to see a lot of people getting married. You best hurry up. You should communicate with your boyfriend tell him what you're thinking so you two can be in the same page. I am sure he understands. Don't make him feel like you have to use him for your sake of being here either. He will be used if you come desperate so try to balance and explain your reasons. Again communicate. Perhaps you two can get married by law start your adjustment progress then have a fancy wedding. I think everyone will know why you two got married around this but at this point who cares what they think.


Edit: ohhh "my DACA boyfriend"

Thanks for your reply. It's actually my bf who's undocumented, and I'm the US citizen. Sorry for not making it more clear! He doesn't have AP or a visa, so AP would be the next step. But I'm hoping that at least getting married to cement our relationship is a good start. Even before the election I was never thinking that I wanted a big fancy wedding or anything, my dream city hall wedding is still completely feasible.

Oh I read this completly wrong.

Never mind I guess open to him and tell him you have no objections for it



Okay look, you boyfriend needs to grow some pair and communicate with you on what he wants to do. You don't mention once what he thinks about this. Does he want to marry you under these circumstances? Will he feel you will have some controlling leverage over him with marrying him ? No visa ? Meaning he's EWI your boyfriend should cleared that entry ASAP why didn't he?

He needs to do it fast and he needs to do it by January. It will simply make things a lot easier. Now about marrying under this situation. I don't know what your boyfriend thinks but if you're the one making a topic about it it says he probably doesn't care enough or maybe he's just too busy to have wondered about it. Don't feel pressure to marry him because you want to help him either. Be open to the idea that marriage is really the only way he can stay here if DACA is removed and he comes to you and explains to you what he wants to do you will support him. But don't do things "out of love" without thinking clear and laying down all the facts.

We had the talk yesterday about what we're going to do, what we both want, etc. We're on the same page, we love each other very much and want to have a future together. If this means getting married sooner rather than later then so be it. I see what you mean that you see it as weird that I post here rather than him but he has his forums that he lurks and posts in and I have mine, he really does care. I think of it more like I don't want all the burden to be on him to get the information about immigration, I want to be an informed and active partner.

We're looking into what he can do for AP because there really hasn't been anything in the past that he could put as a reason, unless we're missing something. He has relatives in his country, is it really so simple to say "I want to visit family I haven't seen in years" as a reason to visit? No one in his family is sick/dying, which we were both told is the way you get the humanitarian AP because you get the documentation to prove it. Maybe with marriage it'll be easier since it will prove he has someone to return back to in the US?

He could be stuck outside the USA for months. Enough for trump to change how how adjusting works.

I am in the same situation but it's me who is undocumented and my GF the U.S. Citizen. We actually been together 3 years and we trully did plan up a wedding but no where near this year or next months which brought us both to an unsettling feelimg of unease when we beard Trump won the election. I have talked to my attorney and he suggested just marrying as soon as possiple and filling for AP before mid december. Problem is i dont want to go in bad terms as of relying on a relatives sickness or funeral of such. I wanted to go to meet my grandmother and godparents but was told that was not going to cut it.

Thanks for the info. That's what we were told too, that AP wouldn't be granted for wanting to do a regular visit, that it would need to be visiting a sick relative or something like that. Do you have something like that? My bf doesn't, I don't know what we can do next. Something like a far reach of "visit dying grandparent" even though they're not at death's door or anything like that?