One of the many wanting a "normal" life

My story begins 20 years ago when my parents made the tough decision of immigrating to America. Everything and everyone that I can remember has been here, in America.
I grew up thinking I was like everyone else, I wanted to be a teacher, a policewoman, a singer, and a dancer. I wanted to go to USC, I wanted to drive and be able to travel to Europe. I was valedictorian in Middle school, captain of my cheerleading squad in high school with a GPA of a 3.7 - I thought I was normal.
But reality set in like a bucket of cold icy water towards my junior year in high school. All of my classmates began getting their drivers licenses and I couldn't. For cheerleading I had to buy the schools insurance instead of providing my own. When I had to take my SAT's I had to bring in an ident-a-kid ID becuase I didnt have a real ID. And then the hardest blow (perhaps to my ego) I couldn't apply to college. Education had always been important in my family and engrained into our brains from an early age. With bitterness I had to lie and say I wanted to take the year off from school, when in reality I wanted to further my education. To those who do not understand why we want to further our education, this might seem like petty little complaints. But for us who see our parents work jobs in poor conditions and for meager wages its more than that. It is a way to say thank you, it is an opportunity to rescue your parents from that kind of life, it is an opportunity to not become just another drop-out statistic. It is a chance to achieve the American dream.
I have seen my father threatened and harrased by his boss. I have seen how hard he works for us, my mother cleaning houses---AND I WANT TO HELP THEM! My mother has apologized for bringing me here and putting me through this- why should she apologize? if it werent for them i would of never even dreamed of going to college. parents should NEVER apologize for wanting the best for their children.
they say that America is the land of opportunity- it is but for us it is like we are trapped in a golden cage, nowhere to go.
It seems like all I do is complain, but I do have things to be grateful for. With luck I was able to go to school in GA where I will be graduating next year with a degree in Education and an edorsement in ESOL. And although i cant work i make money by filling out online surveys. I spend time mentoring elementary students and helping the Hispanic community if GA. My sister (born here) will be going to UF next fall, and so my parents work hasnt been in vain. But, my future is uncertain. What am i to do after i graduate? I cant work, i cant use my degree...
Not being "normal" here in America has taken its toll on me. for a while i was very depressed even suicidal (something i still cant bring myself to tell my parents), i stopped believing in God, i stopped caring about everything. I felt like a failure a waste of space. I finally stopped and realized that what i was doing was not right, that if my parents were making sacrifices in order for me to go to college i needed to do well, today there are times when i do feel myself falling into that black abyss but i manage to pull myself out of it.
What i would tell congressmen is to think about how hard it is to live in the shadows, to not have a voice. I would tell them to stop talking about not "rewarding" illegal behavior and to deal with the fact that we are here and for some of us this is all we know. why not allow these students to be able to educate themselves and contribute to society and our economy.
Sorry if I have written an essay...it is just that its the first time i talk about it with someone else other than my family. Thank you.

I feel the same way you do....Its hard trying to be normal in America when you aren't considered American. Its frustrating to know that you are different and worst of all that it feels like you can't do anything about it. Its like we exist,...but we aren't really allowed to live. Its easy to get depressed, angry, and frustrated,....but the fact that the Dream Act exists is a ray of hope. The road ahead of us is hard, but the good things in life never come easy.

Welcome to dap!!! your post made me tear up. We all know how you feel and have had similar experiences. I remember when I was younger I use to pray to god that my dad wouldnt get fired from his job because he was our only source of income, Now that I think about it even back then I understood the gravity of our situation.

Welcome to DAP, Junebug! We know exactly how you feel. It seems like the education we are getting is a waste of time if we can't work... I've gone back and forth on that statement and realized many people in the world don't even know how to read. You are right in that we can't blame our parents or whoever brought us here. They just wanted a better life for us.

Take a look around the forum if you have any questions, they'll most likely be answered. Otherwise just ask! Again, glad you joined this community

Hi, welcome to DAP. Did you get your name from the new Juno movie?

I think we were all excited when we discovered there was a place where we could be completely honest about our situation, no fronts, no lies... Welcome to the forum

It's great to know that we can all relate to one another in many ways. My parents also work hard in order to provide my siblings and I with a better life. It is frustrating knowing that they are doing these things to give us a better life, but unfortunately we can't fully move forward with it until we adjust our status.

Welcome to DAP. And like hrvatica said, look around and if you have any questions just ask and we'll try to answer them.

welcome to DAP

you dont have to be sorry junebug, this is why DAP was made, b/c if you cant express your feelings about your status any where, than you have the right to do it here!
even today, i feel a bit guilty that my parents are still supporting, me when i know that i could have gotten my degree and would of started working already. all i can say is keep your head up, because WE ALL ARE going to get through this, welcome to DAP!

oh and my gpa was a 3.57, i didnt even bother to take the SAT's because i knew i was not going to be able to go to a state college in CA. and that i was going to end up in a city college/community.