Legalization through marriage - Page 11

Beeeeep! Pump the brakes.

Have you ever thought that maybe you don't like the idea of marrying someone because you resent your someone? It doesn't sound like you love him.

I was with a guy for four years, and we talked about getting married. Hell, he bought a damn ring! And I still broke up with him because he didn't make me happy enough. Of course, this was all pre-Trump, but hey, even then I respected myself enough to leave a bad relationship.

Being a feminist and being married are not mutually exclusive. Why would marriage lower you? Why would choosing to have your relationship be recognized in the eyes of the law lower you? Why does that make you less of a strong, independent woman? It doesn't. Being a feminist means being able to choose whatever path you want.

Dump him, find a guy who actually excites you, and marry him. It's okay to let someone help you. And listen to lemonlilly; she's a wise gem.

Thank you, I appreciate it

Even the slight suggestion of getting married to become legal is extremely irresponsible; getting married just to get a green card is illegal, unfair, dishonest, and unethical. 'Playing the game' is not how things should be done and the more people do it, the less other type of legalization can happen.

That said...even when you are in love with somebody, that does not mean things will work out. Just think that in every fight, in every disagreement, your significant other will say "you only got married with me so you could get a green card"...how could anyone stand that?

For those of you who do it, I admire your strength, I just think the whole situation is unfair.

Thanks vivace, you reaffirm my gut feelings. I have been really scared lately. I thought about marriage in order to protect myself from anything that is going to happen with trump. However, its hard I can't even think about doing it. I have gotten pressured by my uncle to get married. I have even left his house in tears. The thought of marriage makes me uncomfortable. I struggle with the thought of getting dressed up like that, and having a ceremony with family and friends. I have been through a lot with my partner and we just have each other. But like I said I resent him. He is working on improving himself. I don't know if I see a break up soon. I would say maybe. Marriage is very scary for me. Its a permanent paper, and divorce it costly. And no it's not a fake marriage. It's a last minute marriage from a couple of 6 years. Today is our anniversary actually. So it's a real relationship. The only thing is I'm not ready for marriage. I thought I was. My family would like to see me married. However, I don't want to get married. I am going to continue my fight as a dreamer. That's what I am a dreamer. Im 22 btw

Yeah, 22 is still a young age, you could regret it badly if you take that step without being convinced.

Your personality changes do not level off until 25-27. You are still not 100% sure who you are.

Thanks Johann, I'm extremely mature though. If I wasn't I would have jumped in for it. But I know it's not feeling right. I have a friend who was dating a guy for a year then BOOM. She came back from a vacation and said she was getting married. I knew it wasn't right. Then over the course of less than a year I saw the whole marriage crumble. It didn't even last the whole year to be honest.

I understand, it is not that you are not mature. Actually the fact that you are feeling this way might be sign that you can make the right decisions. It does not mean that a 22 year old cannot make the decision to marry. I know a lot of people who marry young and works out. What is for certain is that they go into the marriage determined and 100% sure that it is what they want.



I have a similar situation with my gf. We have been together for almost 2 years now. We are very close and we have a lot in common. She insist that she wants to be with me, and I do as well. Although due to her young age, I feel responsible for make suring that I disclose all the things that are involved. She is still very much convinced that she wants to marry, specially if it means we will be together, but for us, the goal has been to be together from early on. To me she is someone I can be extremely happy with.

I am 28 and is 21.

I feel we would be ready to succeed together which is a huge contributor. She will have a B.S in EE soon and I have an M.S in ME so that is part of why we get along so well. We share the same values, ideals and dreams.

For anyone whose adjusted status through marriage, has anyone had the sponsoring spouse's parents or other family involved in the process (e.g. contacted by USCIS)? I assume this would only be an issue if there was any question about the legitimacy of the marriage.

No, my spouse's relatives were never contacted. We only mentioned them in the interview and that was through stories. I imagine they'd only be involved if you need a sponsor or like you said, on a question of legitimacy.

I think it really depends on the couple. I have a coworker who married initially because her student visa expired. They dated for like 5 months and they're still together after 7 years. They still have their ups and downs but they're committed to the relationship so there's that. On the other hand, I have a friend who married for papers, they had a kid, and were divorced within a month after her naturalization.
Do you feel like you can stop resenting him or are you the type to hold it forever? I felt that way about my boyfriend (now husband). I felt I was more mature than he was. I only finished my Associate's degree and immediately went to work to save up for my Bachelor's degree while he took his time getting his Bachelor's. In my eyes especially towards the end of his student life, he wasn't trying hard enough like networking or landing more internships. He is the type to say a couple of words to argue back and leave it at that. Doesn't explain himself well. He went without a job for four months after graduation - we were living together already for more than a year and I was paying all the expenses while going to school part time. Extremely stressful. But of course he did end up getting a job at a great company and so we're financially secure and he's now paying for my tuition. Would I have considered marrying him back when I was stressed out? Hell no.

In any case, if you feel like the relationship will last, I say go for it, nothing to lose. Odd details will work itself out. However if you already think it's a definite road to divorce eventually, then don't.

Sorry to revive this thread...

Wanted to ask if anyone has personally dealt with or known of anyone who has had to jump over extra hurdles for the legalization process through marriage if they were in a same-sex marriage?