Would you date an undocumented person? - Page 9

stop talking about yourself... hmm i would be grumpy too if i was in your situation

loving this

Listen, there are some practical reasons for not wanting to date someone (as serious marital prospects) in our situation. You're possibly closing off the marriage route and solely relying on legislation if it is your absolute desire to gain citizenship in the US. It sucks that a love interest carries an implication on our political status and as much as we would want it (and it should be) otherwise, the two are undeniably enmeshed at the end of the day.

To be honest, the idea of making citizenship a prerequisite has made me uncomfortable; the idea of not noticing or caring about it is also uncomfortable. I've thought about what I would do myself... someone saying that they wouldn't date us is not a reflection of how worthy we are. Every person has to make his or her own choice. I think that if I found someone that clicked so well with me, and we would love each other --- encourage each other & bring the best in each other... maybe then we could survive this situation together. I'd be lucky to find someone like that, regardless of status. But what if you really really fall in love with them & can't bring yourself to leave the US and the law doesn't change for another 5-10 years?

But it comes down to what you want to accomplish and how big of a priority being a US citizen is to you, too. And it doesn't mean that the person is marrying just for citizenship; it just narrows down the dating pool a bit; doesn't make their marriage or the love between them less true.

A part of me doesn't see anything wrong with closing off dating prospects based on things like legal status. People judge based on looks, personality, education, salary, etc. It's another factor. That's not self-hate; I just can see why someone would choose to do that, ironically & especially in our situation.

The thing is, nobody like this exists. If you think there's some magical person out there who will automagically connect with you on a deep level and you feel that fate has brought you together to live in love peace harmony for the rest of your life....

It's never the case. We've all succumbed to the emotional intoxication of "falling in love". It takes a smart person to realize that it's not real- it's all in your head.

When you think in terms of real, practical matters you start to value other traits- are they responsible, hardworking, dedicated, loyal, understanding, do they have control over their emotions, are they ambitious, etc.

In my personal opinion these traits will lead to a long-lasting, functional and happy relationship.

Because the infatuation "fallen in love" phase of a relationship never lasts more than 3 years, no matter who you are with.

Invictus-- I agree with you.

But I would also include "are they responsible, hardworking, dedicated, loyal, understanding, do they have control over their emotions, are they ambitious, etc" into the list of the qualities of someone I would be very lucky to meet and choose to spend my life with.

Also I believe that there's more than one "right" person for us --- there are definitely traits that someone has that fit well with one person than another --- and they could come with any legal status.

Hell nuh! Why set yourself up for a miserable life?

I did. I met my bf when he was a dreamie. We were both illegal. But he managed to fix his papers, is a temp resident, and still dates me. But did that help me? NO!!

LOL, jk. I did, and i would do it again. Though im still undocumented...-_-...mom says i couldve caught myself a citizen haha. Moms...






are always right.