Alone.

My name is Esteban and my mother brought me and my older sister to the US when I was about 3. I am 22 and I was a b student in high school and because my family could afford for me to go a regular university so i decided to go communty college and then transfer when i had the money. Now I know I have to be strong and work hard to get where i want to be, but I just pisses me off and depresses me that right now i don't control my own fate. I've lost pretty much all contact with my friends because Im to paranoid to drive out to the city. My mother is getting married to a citizen is on the road to becoming legal and my sister had been married for 6 years now and is now just about to be come a resident. Though I am happy for both of them I can't help but feel alone in all of this. To make matters worse my girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me because she doesnt see me and her going anywhere. So I fear that i am becoming what always said i wouldnt, the guy who lives at his moms house, with no job, no money, no friends and no life at all. All of this just makes me feel so alone and useless. Its just getting to the point where im thinking that if this country really doesnt want that maybe I really dont belong here, that i should just go back to mexico and figure something out, but I can barely even speak spanish and i know no one at all. I know life is hard and some people have it way harder then me, but wtf seriously wtf.

seriously, I've felt the same way.....my cousin who is a USC joined the Army just a few weeks ago as soon as he graduated from high school and now in basic hes crying and regrets ever joining(the reason hes crying in basic is because he hasn't had anyone yell at him before) and here I am about to turn 21 and still waiting to enlist.....talk about irony.

Anyway, yeah this place is cool to kill time and let your mind wonder off the ridiculous "undocumented status" we have so stick around.

man, dont feel bad. one day we will have our life good as we deserve it. then you can be all happy and what not. and think about how your ex missed out on your oh so wonderful future. :]

Hey man I understand what you are going through hang in there. The idea of going back is one you really have to think about twice because what if something passes this year or the following year.Also don't beat your self over becoming the thing you don't want to become.Everything changes all the time. Stick around and find a way to keep your self busy so you don't feel down. Stay up man.

Dude, I feel the same way. My parents brought me here a little before i was 2yrs old, and I'm already 21. I've felt and still feel the same way you do, my girlfriend of four years drives me everywhere, unless I insist on driving. Anyway, I'm afraid my girlfriend might leave me because I can't do things she would like for me to do. I have hope that everything works out for all of us soon; but that hope is running out. Just try to stay positive through all this crap, don't drive yourself nuts. Although, it is hard to stay sane.

Aw, I'm sorry. I'm guessing your gf knew of your situation, after 4 years. Right?
If she broke up with you for something that is not your fault, then that's obviously someone you don't need in your life. Though it's a difficult situation, if she was really caring about you, she would've stuck with you and tried to help you. Instead, she made your life even more difficult and caused you more pain. At least you found out "early" that she wasn't going to be supportive. Imagine if you would've married her and then she would've wanted a divorce because of your situation. It would be much tougher.

We can all relate to how you're feeling. Most of us are at least in our twenties, and some of us are still stuck living with parents because of the situation.
It's hard not to feel bad and worthless at times, but keep your head up and be positive.

Wait and see what happens with CIR/Dream Act before you make any decision to go back to Mexico. Life there is much tougher than it is here. At least here we can afford food and shelter. I know a few people in Mexico that are struggling to pay the bills and their problems are much more severe than mine are.

Good luck and welcome to DAP.

Hey there =) have faith. You're way too young to be depressed over this.

Did you know in China 40 years ago? The entire country was sent to the countryside to raise crops etc and nobody had a proper education at early 20s. That same generation is doing quite well right now pushing the economic powerhouse.

You will never know what holds in the future. Time will eventually come when you can work free. Just make sure you work hard =D

Hey welcome! =). Believe me most of us are going through what you are going trough. I am sorry to hear about your gf but its true if she left you and was not being supportive then you don't need her in your life. I know things are hard I have been in and out of doctors because my health is just going downhill right now because of stress and school and mostly $. I don't understand why they have not passed DREAM yet. They know that all of us are anxiously waiting for it. I guess only time will tell. Don't go back to Mexico just please hang on a little bit longer and you'll see that things will change. They just have to and when they do we will all appreciate our lives more because we have been through a lot and have been forced to grow up faster than most people our age. Have faith!

Thanks for all the kind words and support. I decided that all I can do is live everyday to its fullest and wait till its our time. I have all my family supporting me and understanding my position.