Does Anyone Know?

Yesterday I did something I never thought I would do; I told someone about my situation. I think that it was emotionally the hardest thing I've ever done. I told the school counselor everything from how it makes me feel about myself to what my dreams and aspirations are. It was draining. We sat there for 2 hours and I cried the entire time. But I walked out of her office with something I didn't have before; help from someone who know has dealt and helped students with this before. She helps students like me. I went in to ask to drop trig and somehow it turned into me telling someone my secret. The point is, I now have a someone at school that is going to help me, that is going to lead me in the right direction. No promises that things would work out but a promise that we would both do all we could to make sure I go to college.

My question to you is, have you opened up to anyone purposefully or accidently (like me)? Have you tried reaching out to someone in school who deals with this sort of thing? If you did, what did you get out of it?

I remember the time I had to tell my orchestra teacher about my status. She was asking me what I wanted to do about college, and was trying to get me to go to a certain college in the area. One day I asked her if I could talk with her in the office and I was shaking, couldn't speak, and was halfway crying the whole time.

To make things worse, I'm sure no one else had to open up about their status with her previously. So I had to explain how I'm not allowed to attend a public university, how I can't get aid, etc. I live in SC and there's not a whole lot of undocumented people in Orchestra

Now, as horrible as that was, I had someone who wanted to help me out. She helped me get to know another orchestra teacher working in a private university who was glad to overlook my status. Sure, I have to worry about having the money to attend, but I got a partial scholarship, and I can go to a school without being afraid of being kicked out because of my status. Which is very hard to come by in SC

I also had to open up with this one girl who happens to be going to this same college. I really didn't want to tell her and I was stressing out for days before she just made me open up. I wish she didn't have to know about my situation, but the fact that I have just one or 2 people who will look at me differently helps so much sometimes. They can see I'm struggling but doing my best. I'm not a loser who doesn't bother to learn to drive, or some loser that just doesn't care about their life.

So sometimes it can work out for the best, but man, opening up can be tough

Guys, I know that it was still hard for you to tell anyone but telling this to someone "in charge" of helping you achieve your goals should not be problem, like ever.

I see that you guys are still young, i.e. in high school but once you graduate and go to college you will see that you will most likely have to tell the admissions office and people in your particular department if you consider doing any sort of research or internship. Directly lying about your status, might not only set you back, and make you ineligible for financial assistance, but it might also be criminal in some cases. However, at the same time I would encourage to never ever give a direct response: someone needs a SS# tell them you don't have one, if they ask why, tell them you are ineligible, if they again, ask why tell them you are a foreign national; if they ask for govt. ID ask if your passport is ok; finally if they directly ask about your status or if you are a PR or citzen, like an admissions office might do, then finally tell them you are currently out of status but your currently working and getting that adjusted (even if by waiting for new legislation). This is somewhat important because in the state I live in, we even had to sign an affidavit my first semester of college stating that we are currently out of status but we will adjust it the first chance we get This got my in-state tution but stating that also puts you in a better light.

One thing I want you to get out of this though is that you should never think that it is the same telling a friend about your situation(which I would personally discourage, since we've all heard some horror stories about this backfiring) and a person who is directly responsible for your future. The former usually have big mouths and there really is no such as a "best friend till the end" at a young age (those are the people that you are still friends with when you are 60 and then you can say it). If something ever backfires, even some stupid argument or something they will always have this on you. However, the latter ones, are not only usually helpful but might have also dealt with this kind of situation before. If they sense where you're coming from they will not push it and make you reveal something you obviously want to keep to yourself.

does anyone here experience that after what they have told to their counselor, about their being out of status, did the attitude of the counselor towards the student changed or are they more helpful? any other experience out there? did the counselor tell to the other teachers about the situation?

My parents are extremely paranoid about the consequences of telling someone our secret. When I was growing up, I couldn't tell anyone. I didn't want to. I kept thinking I'd eventually be "normal" and I could just forget about being different when DREAM passed. This led me to delay accepting this burden and finding help or ways to deal with it.

I think the sooner you tell someone you KNOW you can trust, the sooner you can go about finding help and exploring your options.

My experience in telling my professors and counselors has been positive overall. In fact, it's like they're more willing to help you because they know it's an uphill battle for you.

There are some things you should know if haven't told anyone:
(1) It gets easier telling people. I used to burst into tears and look like a hot mess. Now it's okay. You don't have to feel ashamed.
(2) Counselors are bound by confidentiality agreements. If you doubt this is true, ask them right off the bat. I expect that the same applies for teachers as well. They certainly can't discriminate against you if you're in public education.
(3) My adviser in Berkeley works with a lot of AB 540 students. She said that she's noticed the only way you can survive this situation is if you NETWORK. That means you have to tell at least some people about yourself.
(4) Wherever you live or wherever you go to school, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Please take it from me. DON'T let fear stop you. The only way that I've been able to succeed is by asking other people for help.

Well mine hasn't told anyone but obviously, I couldn't stop her. The only thing that has changed is me, really. I feel vulnerable because she knows and I feel really awkward that someone knows so much about me and I don't know anything about them.

Me and my sister went down to the University last week to see if we could get in. We told the advisors about our situation...which was very very very uncomfortable.....and we were surprised at how well they carried the conversation after what we said. They just laid out all our options and even said that a student with the same situation came in a day before us and ask about the same thing. They just made it seem like dealing with an undocumented student was something they've done normally.
It feels verry liberating