How to tell a friend?

How do you tell a friend about your legal status?

i just told my best friend after i knew that i can trust her enough.. just pop it..

With my case I've said a lot of things to my friends that hinted at my status without actually being aware of it, so it made it easier for me to tell them.

If you're going to tell a friend about your legal status, be sure that you trust the person very well. Do your research ahead of time because it's likely that your friend will ask you the obvious questions (i.e. "Why don't you become a citizen then?") so you should be able to provide answers.

Sit him or her down, and say that you trust them because you want to tell them something very important. Then say something like, "I don't have papers, I'm illegal." Make it a direct statement. At that point be prepared for questions, so answer them as best as you can, give some information about the DREAM act and other related immigration politics, some statistics, and accounts of how it happens that we are undocumented.

If your friend reacts positively, then good for you! You have an ally! If they react negatively, I don't think you should sweat too much about it. Chances are they're probably dumb anyway, so it's not like they'll call ICE on you. I've had one such negative reaction, and I was kind of friends with the person, but over time I just avoided him and we don't talk or even notice each other. But that's my unique situation, maybe he felt pity on me because I'm white.

Hope that this helps. Good luck!

Make sure you're in a ghetto bar and say, "You be delaying, you're always saying some shit You say I'm playing, I'm never laying the dick Saying blah, blah, blah 'Cause I don't care who you are in this party It only matters who I am"

Then take a sip from yo bottle 'o Jack and spit it their face.

This thread should be titled, how NOT to tell a friend

this is a good thread..i'm going to have to tell one of my friends soon and i have no idea how

.....

Trust me, don't deliberately tell people for the sake of telling. Let people find out over time after you have stayed in the same town for over a decade.

I have close friend from the HS days who knows my situation and has recently blabbed out my secret identity to his friends over dinner while I was there. And that friend of his turned out to be a dick and made fun of me at every turn even when there was more strangers around.

Take my word for it, that was not an isolated case. I know there are times that you get so acquainted to a person that you would feel that it's not right to keep your legal status from him/her. Security and password exist in this world for a reason, and same goes for keeping your illegal status in this country under the hood. I can't count the number of times when I was so glad that I didn't end up telling someone about my status, and yet regret at the few times that I did spill the beans. I have several really close friends that I have known for over 13 years. They know my secret and often provide words of encouragement. These, my friend, are the isolated cases.

I am not overly concerned over people calling ICE on me. I doubt they would devote resources just to come knocking on my door to arrest and deport a law-abiding (except the immigration law =p) individual. What I can't stand is being frowned upon for being in a situation that is completely out of my capabilities to fix. So yeah, keep it to yourself.

@Gocchin Sama, I am sorry about your past experiences but I don't think your advice necessarily applies to everyone. Surely, this is purely a personal choice (a very personal one at that) and it is not a black and white situation where you can tell people either do or don't. Trust and friendship do not always follow a time line. Whether you feel comfortable with someone after knowing them for 2 years or 20 is up to the individual. However, I can totally identify with you when you say there are times where you were so glad you didn't end up telling someone. Same here. I had a friend who I considered my best friend for 13 years. We don't talk anymore. I'm glad I didn't tell her.

It is something we all have to contemplate. Like I said, it is not a black or white situation, so it is really hard to predict a person's reaction. Hopefully those of us who decide to tell someone close to us can have the support and encouragement you receive from your long time friend.

Is your friend going to buy you a cookie after you tell him about your status??? I don't know why on earth anybody would be so eager to tell others about their status.