Let's talk about self help

A lot of DREAMers are struggling. Mentally and emotionally the challenges can be overwhelming.

How about you? Do you deal with depression, anxiety, loneliness, grief, anger, addiction, difficulty controlling yourself, or anything else?

I've spent the last several years of my life on this issue, struggling and fighting for mental survival. I went from the bottom of the bottom, the lowest mental pit to where I am today- in college, on the Dean's list and in a competitive, difficult major.

I haven't solved all my problems yet. I can't promise to solve your problems either. But I can share my knowledge and experiences.

Ask me questions, and I will answer them.

If you'd prefer them to be private, I will take PMs confidentially.

I am a psychology major and I know and acknowlege that I have emotional struggles. I have a question for those that have seeked help, has it helped? I decided to not seek help because if a doctor can't hand over a green card, then what help is it?

At the end the majority of our problems stem from this situation.

It didn't fix my status, but my perceptions changed to a healthier, resilient and happier one.

Before I got help, my attitude was "My life is screwed up, I'm suffering because of someone elses mistake, the world is unfair, so why should I even try?"

Now my attitude is more like "My life has been damaged, but it's better to fight and overcome the obstacles rather than give up."

I read these books. cheers me right up

the Art Of War

The prince

36 Stratagems

01234, if you like those sort of books, a book you will REALLY like is "The 48 Laws of Power" By Robert Greene.

I have honestly tried all of those self books and I think they are hard to swallow unless you really want to. There is this book about "Living in the now" but my now sucks so its all horrible. I can't live in the now because I feel like I have to be guarded 24/7. These books are just not for me

About all that stuff, well yeah I have been lonely, depressed , stressed you name it. I have my days where I am really happy and then I have my lows. I don't know what it feels to hit bottom because I feel like I have never reached the top. I guess right now because I am doing nothing. Everyone returned to school today except me. I am done with my general ed and its time to transfer but that is on pause for now so I am doing absolutely nothing.

The worst part of everything is waking up to do the same thing over and over. I have a routine and its made me lifeless. I wake up at the same time and go to sleep at the same time. In between my day I work out and then try to find something else to do. I have all the time in the world, but I don't know what to do with my time. I hardly ever leave my house unless I need to go somewhere.

About friends, well I don't like people seeing me because I feel like they would judge me because I am supposed to be something that I am not. Most people would be shocked that I am doing nothing with my life right now because that's not who I was when I left high school.

I guess I can pat my self on the shoulder because despite the hardships I managed to get two associate degrees at the community college. The hard thing now is getting to the next level. Oh yeah, weekends are the worst because you know everyone is having fun while you are stuck at home.

Moreover, its not poor me because this is how I decided to live my life. I just don't see why I have to explain myself to people anymore. I'm just eager to break free and be the person that I know I am deep inside, happy.

<3<3<3

I really did try that Oprah crap about "The Power Of Now" and "The Secret." I tried to be all positive ,and it was driving me nuts because I was faking something that I wasn't.

Hey Mona Lisa. I can feel your pain. It sounds like you lead a heavy life right now.

My response to you would be to differentiate between reality and perception.

The reality of your situation- the brute facts do not make you feel depressed, sad, angry or frustrated. They carry no emotions with them. They are just plain facts.

Your perceptions lead to the emotions you feel, and different perceptions lead to different emotions.

Let me tell you a story:

Two men are attacked by a wild animal and get get a large cut across the face. Both of them suffer a large, easily visible scar after the wound as healed.

The first man becomes ashamed of his disfigured face. He feels like his beautiful, symmetrical face has been marred and there is no way to fix it. He fears that people will not find him attractive. He feels like he is "damaged". Because of this, he feels depressed and his self esteem plummets.

The second man suffers the identical scar, just as easily visible. However, he perceives it as a symbol of pride. He says "I faced down a wild animal and I survived." He has high-self esteem and carries himself with respect.

The experiences both men go through are identical. The facts- the details of the scar are identical.

It's their differing perceptions that lead to very differing results. One man is withdrawn and ashamed. The other is happy, strong and proud. So you see the power of perception, and your own perception.

Resilient, strong people have resilient, strong perceptions. And believe it or not, it is possible to change how you perceive things.

The reality of your situation might not change. But regardless of your situation, the way you deal with it CAN improve. Where you used to be weak, you can become strong. Where you used to be vulnerable, you can develop invulnerability. Where you used to be helpless and powerless, you can take back power. Where you used to feel uncertainty, you can feel stability. The first step is recognizing the difference between perception and reality. The second is recognizing that perception is not always right, and can be changed.

The example I used above was loosely based on a true story, by the way.

mona lisa/invictus,

i believe a lot of us have gone/are going through periods like the ones mentioned above. on a personal note, i have tried to remain as positive as possible. at the same time, i have/am trying not to live a lie either.

i just graduated from a 4-year school along with a few friends. just talked to friend X and she said she felt "useless." she works on the weekends and during weekdays she just looks out the window waiting for the night to arrive. her license has expired and relies on people to move her around. i know she finished with a strong gpa, but like we know she/we cant do much with a degree without legal status.

i know many of you/us have expressed the desire to continue on with your/our education in our countries of origin. though this sounds disconcerting (to me), i feel it is the first step to "freedom."

i know a dap user who battled for 2-years whether to leave the US. finally, she left not long ago and said "i am relieved."

above, i said freedom because in a way i feel imprisoned. at the same time, no one is holding me back but myself. i tell everyone im not afraid to face uncertainty, but in my deepest being i am puzzled.

in short, i have decided to take action and plan to move on. all throughout hs my professors talked about following one's dreams and one's passion. and thats exactly what i want to do. i dont wanna live this one live dwelling on the choices my parents made for me a few years back. i dont blame them because they did what they thought it was best for me. if anything, they brought me up as the young man i am today.
so, is it the government's fault for not working on a strategic immigration reform? dont have the answer to this but when i think about government i think about POLITICS. and we know politics is a never ending song.

just ask yourself what you want out of life. live it to the fullest today. tomorrow is not guaranteed.