getting married?

if you marry a citizen girl as a illegal, can you be granted a citizenship? If so how long does it take? And would I be able to sponser my mom and dad?
Also my gf from ohio, and Im from cali, she moved to ohio months ago. How is Ohio with illegals?

You can get a green card within a few months. I'm not kidding. I know a gay guy who married a woman just for the green card. They duped immigration officials pretty well by studying each other. He got his green card in less than a year. I'm so jealous because he's got a green card, and he did it with a sham marriage.

If that guy can get his GC with a sham marriage, you can certainly get one through a real marriage.

That's only if you came on a tourist visa and overstayed.

It'll be a while before you can sponsor your parents. Years, perhaps.

If you can sponsor them and if its good for them, go for it. If they are OK in their country, send them money.

if you had nothing filed on your behalf before 2001 under 245i then you would have to go back to your home country and get petitioned by your spouse. This can be up to ten years denpending on your hardship.

if you came here legally as well as your parents you can adjust the status of your parents within 3 years give or take.

What if my dad left the country?

Well that depends. I am going to assume he was here illegally in some capacity. If he left the country, he has a ban from returning to the United States. The length of which depends on how long he overstayed. It might be ten years. If so, you can't petition him until the ban is up.

It is not that easy, marriage does not mean citizenship.

1: You have to be eligible for change of status, if you entered without inspection, you are automatically disqualified.

2: You must be able to prove that your marriage is legitimate and not just for immigration benefits. This includes proving that you have met your spouse for a good amount of time before marrying, photos of vacation or trips you have taken.

3: You must prove that there is a spousal relationship, which includes joint bank account, joint tax return, living together etc...

4: You do not apply for citizenship, rather your USC spouse must file a petition for you (I-130) and you have to file a change of status to a permanent resident (I-485). The process is long and costly, as the I-130 and I-485 combined cost ~$1500. You should get a lawyer too so he can fill out the minute details and guide you through the process.

5: If you are approved, a big if, then you would get a conditional resident status for 2 years. You and your spouse must remain together for the duration of your conditional residency status.

6: After the conditional residency status period, you can apply for a change to a permanent resident status.

7: After all of that, you have to wait for 5 years before you can take your citizenship test.

number 1 is incorrect

Exactly, and 2 - 7 were a bit exaggerated.