sick and tired

i'm sick and tired of playing cat chasing the mouse here in the US i was saving money to go to college next year but everywhere i look there's some sort of law against illegals now they're doing it here in South Carolina , if this law passes i'm just going to pack my stuff and go back to Mexico a country that i barely remember dreamers keep on dreaming because i just can't.

Fellow Dreamer I don't know if you and I have had our ups and downs on here but I can tell you this.. Don't feel bad because you can't go to college many of the most successful people on earth never went to college..

College is just an idea one that does not necessarily hold truth for a lot of people...

I'm going to tell you what I tell other dreamers on here when they ask me for advice..

Hold on just a little bit longer.. I have faith that in the next 2 years it's all going to be resolved either by the Dream Act or by us leaving the country.. Nonetheless let it be known that our problems will be resolved..

I have thoughts of suicide all the time I had one just last night.. You just have to be strong and endure.. What your going threw right now is building your character, you will be surprise at how much more wisdom you have then others..

Just be strong a little bit longer.. We will make it one day I promise you that..

im freshman in college, and this summer, my parents have been pushing me to get job. I don't need the money to support the family or anything. and i do have jobs, but they are now pushing me to get a higher paying job.

Tonight she said it again. Then I didn't response, and my mother was just keep telling me things like "if u dun do this job, what's else r u going to do? with no paper, of course u have to do this, even after college u will do these kind of job" then why the fuck im in college?

and what she's saying literally makes me want to scream
does she think i wanna be here being shamed every fucking single day?
I wasn't the one who wanna come here illegally
she was the one that wanted to come, she dragged me to hell with her, and yet im burning

and she's also mentioning how lucky im that i have a loving family and i don't have the burden of supporting the household

when i first came here, she told me everything's gonna fine. and what does she know? she's been making up, she never know

and yet i am as sick and tired as u r

"pushing me to get a higher paying job" that's so typical of Asians and their culture...

It's nothing bad... I'm just saying...

Listen to your mama everything's gonna be fine..

Sigh.. Typical.
Ahh I know exactly what you mean. Except my family is poor as hell Nd I'm the bread winner of the family. let me tell u something, there are things in life that u might not want to do but u have to do it. Be honest, its hard to find good paying job out there for people like us. But it's not impossible. Shit, I know undocumented ppl earning $3000+/month. Not impossible.

I can't say I'm happy working where I'm working now. U can almost say I hate it with passion. I'm a college graduate working with a bunch of uneducated crazy folks and my manager is a dumb dumb who don't know how to do her job properly. But u know wat, rather than sitting at home Nd blaming my parents for bringing me here (which they shouldn't have!!!! shit, my parents should be the last persons to come here illegally cuz they lazy as hell and have no skills what so ever. Should have stayed in their country), but, that won't make me happier or put food on my table. What I'm trying to say is, u might not like the job, but do it anyway. There isnt any room on ur plate to be picky. Ur lucky that u don't have the burden of supporting the household. Just think of it as experience. Comming from someone who's thought it through... And then some; don't live in illusion thinking everything will be good after college. No, ur not like ur friends, unlike them, things will only get worse after college. It's a living nightmare having everyone else move forward and u're still where u are years ago, unable to move forward. I'm not trying to scare u, it's the truth. There is no yellow brick road leading to happiness if ur living in denial.

I don't know why it's so taboo to blame your parents.. A lot of dreamers defend them like crazy!!! Talk about living in denial...

I guess your of the mentality that things should remain unchanged.. I'm the same way.. By my logic I shouldn't have even been born...

What the hell were my parents thinking.. It's like the poor and uneducated are the ones who have trillions of kids...

I'm never bringing kids into this world knowing I won't be able to provide them with opportunities and a good life..

I don't think it's fare that you had no choice in the matter and were just thrown into a war you didn't start... You are brave I commend you for what you are doing for you family...

Let goodness be with all of us..

Look man I definitely need to drill what you're saying into my brain because this is exactly my situation. The problem with me is that I will do exactly what you're saying and carry the exact attitude but only for a few days maybe two weeks at the most and then get back to square one emotionally and have brain farts. I'm not consistent with this attitude. When I break down, I get very angry at my parents and become very irritated at every thing. Recently I've been very afraid of being near my iphone as I fear that I will smash it in anger. The weird thing is that my conscience within is telling me exactly what you're telling us in ur post but I'm just unwilling to act that way. I'm sorry I was just not born with this resilience of staying the course. And yes it is actually an understatement to say that its a nightmare to see your peers move forward after graduating and seeing yourself stuck in one dimension. It is traumatizing. It is so traumatizing that I have lost half of hair from my head. Now before someone starts rambling about how life isn't easy for others either...just understand our situation is extra harsh. Citizens and Permanent resident recent graduates definitely have it easier in terms of getting into the job market and advancing. It is difficult to live in a country like America without status.

Im surprised that most of you guys feel the same way about this. I too get upset with my parents and sometimes, well no most of the time get very upset over everything. Im so stressed out on how things are that sometimes i just wanna give up. I feel so useless. I didnt finish college because i see no point of going through it and wasting all that money and in the long run i wouldnt even be able to use it. Its hard to focus when youre carrying this burden that you know you have no fault. Yes i do have a job but it doesnt pay much. My salary is probably just change compare to any of you guys. I dnt know, i want something more. I do wanna go to college and finish up. Shit im 23 and working on this low wage job. I want to make something happen. But again like i said its hard to focus on school when youre bombarded with negative thoughts every single fucken day. You know the saying "everyday is a new day" well shit not to us. Its the same shit different day. I feel left out from my friends. I see them enjoying their lives And im here stuck at home living a daily routine. Wake up - Go to work - Go home - check DREAMACT. Info (hoping for some good news) - then TRY MY HARDEST TO GET SOME SLEEP! - but cant so i end up tiring myself out stayin up late thinking and wondering why is this happening. Then wake up tired and do the same shit.

I feel the same way sometimes, but man just think of how close we've got, like my dad says, "we have waited the most, let's wait a little longer." If that law passes there, then move to a another state, but don't give up...we will get our dream act one day.

While there is logic in your opinion about blaming parents, but putting blame on your parents now does absolutely nothing for you but distance yourself from them. I wouldn't call it taboo, its just that most of us already realize that it was indeed their fault, but you gain nothing from constantly putting blame on them.